Borderlands is a computer game series that is in many ways symptomatic of the 'malaise of modern gaming' (which is not 100% true and therefore a theory) especially considering how style has trumped substance (which is a problem modern gaming shares with many other modern things). The gist of a Borderlands game is:
It is a first person shooter set on a richy detailed, busted cyberpunk/post-apocalyptic wasteland/junkyard alien planet with cool monsters and villainous humans and it's also a bit of an RPG (because those are hot right now) in that you have experience points, skills, and criticals (and also a vast, grim, and forboding numerical grind). All weapons and equipment are randomly generated with varying stats, there are multiple protagonists with different powers, persistent account wide bonuses, and a variety of challenges and accomplishments. Also the series likes to use hit songs in advertising as well as in-game!
All of this, and it's arguably less fun than even Doom 1 or 2, which are a million times less complex or intricate. To my mind the Borderlands series is a perfect example of the pretty, lifeless, grindy, downright boring and chore-like video games proliferating in 'serious' gaming. I finished the first game a couple of times (to my eternal discredit) and only played around 8 hours of Borderlands 2 (so far I haven't gotten a single interesting weapon and the fights haven't been fun). So the most important things in FPS games, the guns, are randomized. Generally the randomized guns are excessively useless. The inventory system is yet another terrible console/PC crossover abortion, so good luck selling the random loot guns the game is stingy about dropping.
Showing posts with label computer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label computer. Show all posts
7/29/13
An Addendum To 'Wikipedia Style Guide': RoboCop Remake
During my brief research for the Wikipedia Style Guide article (which could've been better) I discovered that there is a planned release of a new RoboCop in 2014. Let the wrongness of a fucking RoboCop remake sink in for a moment. It doesn't feel good, does it? I mean, the RoboCop sequels were themselves inexcusable but inevitable, given the era in which they were made. The remake is even more inevitable, really, by the same ratiocination. I shouldn't be surprised in the least, except I rarely see movies at theaters, let alone the multiplexes that screen the impressive trailers of the next generation of big and dumb or deep and profound who-gives-a-fucks*.
I suppose I'm an idiot to object, but the remaking of a solid 80's masterpiece in the corporate wasteland of the 21st century which it was originally set in seems wrong to me on a fundamental level. It's almost a twisting of physical laws, as if a yottoscopic black hole passed through my mind while I had a perverse thought about how weird a relation it would be, and then via singularity that thought manifested itself as part of reality, or as possibility in minds close to the film industry. It's that weird to me. It's like the manifestation of a nightmare – but that's essentially what the world has been, behind the scenes at least, for my entire life and probably all other humans as well... which is the point of entertainment.
Overstatement. It's more fun than saying that a bunch of hacks want to release a new movie based on an old concept, as if they have anything meaningful to add to a concept they're borrowing for lack of inspiration. Profit trumping history. I guess that's what it is to live in 2013. Detroit is actually declaring bankruptcy (check out RoboCop 2 if you think I'm schizoid) and cocaine is as big a problem in America as ever, to the point where they either need to construct many real-life RoboCops (as well as a small army of ED-209s) to stop the trafficking or just let it win and stop making a fuss.
I don't want to be the wanker who says that a movie was 'eerily prescient' about 'modern society' because RoboCop was eerily contemporary about 80's culture and eerily great in every possible way, but movies aren't prophets and that particular one was only proven right because of the sheer amount of subliminal and/or retrograde insight the movie possesses. I bet the remake will make multiple references to drones. I am told that's a bet I'm not allowed to make. Mark my words: fuck RoboCop 2014, that shit ain't right.
"Get ready for a hip, new RoboCop who understands EDM music and doesn't mind a bromance... or two!"
It boggles my mind, and then along comes this fucking remake which I'm sure can safely be judged on what kind of car the new RoboCop drives. Probably written by committee, guided by fuckers, and destined to be a grave insult to the spirit of the original in every possible way. Corporate slickness, top-40 EDM song in the trailer, GFX up the ass, possible box-office hit, dialogue from idiot hell, blood-curdlingly dumb and sensationalistic in every way... I'd buy that for a dollar and so will you!
I suppose I'm an idiot to object, but the remaking of a solid 80's masterpiece in the corporate wasteland of the 21st century which it was originally set in seems wrong to me on a fundamental level. It's almost a twisting of physical laws, as if a yottoscopic black hole passed through my mind while I had a perverse thought about how weird a relation it would be, and then via singularity that thought manifested itself as part of reality, or as possibility in minds close to the film industry. It's that weird to me. It's like the manifestation of a nightmare – but that's essentially what the world has been, behind the scenes at least, for my entire life and probably all other humans as well... which is the point of entertainment.
Overstatement. It's more fun than saying that a bunch of hacks want to release a new movie based on an old concept, as if they have anything meaningful to add to a concept they're borrowing for lack of inspiration. Profit trumping history. I guess that's what it is to live in 2013. Detroit is actually declaring bankruptcy (check out RoboCop 2 if you think I'm schizoid) and cocaine is as big a problem in America as ever, to the point where they either need to construct many real-life RoboCops (as well as a small army of ED-209s) to stop the trafficking or just let it win and stop making a fuss.
I don't want to be the wanker who says that a movie was 'eerily prescient' about 'modern society' because RoboCop was eerily contemporary about 80's culture and eerily great in every possible way, but movies aren't prophets and that particular one was only proven right because of the sheer amount of subliminal and/or retrograde insight the movie possesses. I bet the remake will make multiple references to drones. I am told that's a bet I'm not allowed to make. Mark my words: fuck RoboCop 2014, that shit ain't right.
"Get ready for a hip, new RoboCop who understands EDM music and doesn't mind a bromance... or two!"
It boggles my mind, and then along comes this fucking remake which I'm sure can safely be judged on what kind of car the new RoboCop drives. Probably written by committee, guided by fuckers, and destined to be a grave insult to the spirit of the original in every possible way. Corporate slickness, top-40 EDM song in the trailer, GFX up the ass, possible box-office hit, dialogue from idiot hell, blood-curdlingly dumb and sensationalistic in every way... I'd buy that for a dollar and so will you!
**** I suppose they more commonly go by the colloquialism 'movies' or 'films', but when
intelligent people band together and overthrow the world order they will be referred to as who-gives-a-fucks, I have it on good authority, since they generally function as soulless propaganda, socially acceptable narcotic, profit-motive, and distraction. Various cinema will still be allowed, for obvious reasons, but it is hoped calling them who-gives-a-fucks will be humbling to the industry.
9/5/12
The New Microsoft Logo: Explicit Huey and the News Reference?
Well it's kind of funny on a few different levels. I could make a joke about the Samsung lawsuit also, if it was necessary. I don't think it's entirely necessary. I guess, though, what they are saying is that it's hip to be square. Or maybe they're just futureproofing the brand. It's tough to say, at this distance, what any of this really means. It could be a meaningless change, and it could be the herald of some insane twist ending so devious that it drove its author insane and hid itself in a dusty pile of manuscripts, waiting for a foolish hack's sweaty fingers.
The real issue isn't whether or not rounded edges are completely illegal, but rather what exactly a non-curved surface means for the consumer. Will it entail a less-flexible Microsoft Windows? Will tiling finally wear out its welcome?
Is this a sign that yupsters are on the make? Is the 99% going to have to deal with the fallout? Is the 100% going to have to? Where do I send strongly-worded letters about this? Why is my local mailbox welded shut?
No, this can't be so drastic. But my eyes can't be lying to me. This isn't anything like Morrowind to Oblivion in terms of regression, but it makes me wonder if I shouldn't switch to... but wait. Apple's undergone its brand shift already, and it's planning something as well. Macintosh and Microsoft. It's the ongoing browser crisis all over again, which makes Microsoft Chrome; Apple Firefox. Except Apple is a more yupster brand than Microsoft, anyway, so really nothing makes sense at all. I only hope they do a commercial with the proper mainstream pop rock song accompanying shots of stressed office workers, pale and/or fat kids, and septuagenarians holding conference calls on Win8 phones.
Well I for one don't care so much. Things will be alright even if the vistas are grimmer than the early-adopters and hype-men would like. I think Win7 is where it's at, and I'm happy to square about that. As long as it can run Age of Empires 2, an operating system is pretty good. Anyways, anyone who knows anything knows which was the best logo and is still puzzled, like me, about the incomprehensible loss of that incredible relic. Rest in peace,
Is this a sign that yupsters are on the make? Is the 99% going to have to deal with the fallout? Is the 100% going to have to? Where do I send strongly-worded letters about this? Why is my local mailbox welded shut?
No, this can't be so drastic. But my eyes can't be lying to me. This isn't anything like Morrowind to Oblivion in terms of regression, but it makes me wonder if I shouldn't switch to... but wait. Apple's undergone its brand shift already, and it's planning something as well. Macintosh and Microsoft. It's the ongoing browser crisis all over again, which makes Microsoft Chrome; Apple Firefox. Except Apple is a more yupster brand than Microsoft, anyway, so really nothing makes sense at all. I only hope they do a commercial with the proper mainstream pop rock song accompanying shots of stressed office workers, pale and/or fat kids, and septuagenarians holding conference calls on Win8 phones.
Well I for one don't care so much. Things will be alright even if the vistas are grimmer than the early-adopters and hype-men would like. I think Win7 is where it's at, and I'm happy to square about that. As long as it can run Age of Empires 2, an operating system is pretty good. Anyways, anyone who knows anything knows which was the best logo and is still puzzled, like me, about the incomprehensible loss of that incredible relic. Rest in peace,
5/30/12
The Exciting World of Computer Mice
I'm not going to research this at all but there's a few hundred types of mice and mostly, from bargain to budget to bullshit crazy, they are not optimum. There's a sort of rule of mediocrity at play: the mice closest to median price are typically the best of the bunch. This rule doesn't really exist with keyboards, which is why I'm writing about mice. High-power web publications will tell you different, and in glowing language, but all the php coding and art direction can't hide the truth: cheap mice can be the best, mid-priced is the best bet for longevity in any case, and expensive mice are either awkward or insane.
Back in the day you could unscrew the bottom of the mouse and use the hard, small tracking ball as impromptu projectile. The insides were covered with dust and a patina of random filth, and it was easy to purposefully or accidentally break or sabotage one. Cleaning them out was something you did at home only, because there was nothing worse than the ball pit of a public mouse. Mice didn't have scrollwheels for years, also, which is really easy to forget and really charming to remember.
So it makes sense that there are now wireless mice with lasers, eight buttons, and adjustable weights, or that double as lighters, or whatever. The old rule still applies. Mid priced mice are worth at the minimum twice. I recall an old Microsoft mouse that worked fine for 8 years until the buttons finally gave up working properly. The last mouse I paid for (ie. was not included with the computer) lasted 6, and it was the cheapest reasonable mouse I could find.
It was fine for most of those years. Then the middle button stopped working, and I found I'd gotten so used to it I couldn't just accept not having one. I was lured into the habit of using modern, functional mice, and it was pretty bad. I never got a case of the shakes while trying feverishly to make the button work, but I got pretty frustrated. Middle mouse button is useful for all kinds of things, like opening extra browser tabs (luxury), to quickly scrolling around oversize pages and docs (productivity/luxury).
And so I finally put down money on a Logitech M500, which to me has always stood for the pinnacle of mid-priced quality. And it is. The scroll wheel and mid button are loosey goosey but the side buttons, hyper-speed scrolling, and everything else is perfect. I haven't had a mouse this good in years if not decades, and I bet it'll increase my blog posting, content, quality, and attractiveness by .5 if not 1.0% Mostly, when I was in the process of looking around for a cheaper, better, M500 alternative I was either disgusted or in disbelief.
And again, holy shit are there some expensive input devices for computers. The only thing I could see myself spending money on is the wireless, solar powered keyboard because when you write, a good keyboard is like a comfortable, quality pen and good paper rolled into one. For now, I'll simply say that I will never go back to scrolling like a sucker again. Hyper-fast scrolling makes even multi-thousand song playlist issues a thing of the past. Whirl that baby and fly past song titles so quick you can't even see them. Simply amazing, this future of mice.
Back in the day you could unscrew the bottom of the mouse and use the hard, small tracking ball as impromptu projectile. The insides were covered with dust and a patina of random filth, and it was easy to purposefully or accidentally break or sabotage one. Cleaning them out was something you did at home only, because there was nothing worse than the ball pit of a public mouse. Mice didn't have scrollwheels for years, also, which is really easy to forget and really charming to remember.
So it makes sense that there are now wireless mice with lasers, eight buttons, and adjustable weights, or that double as lighters, or whatever. The old rule still applies. Mid priced mice are worth at the minimum twice. I recall an old Microsoft mouse that worked fine for 8 years until the buttons finally gave up working properly. The last mouse I paid for (ie. was not included with the computer) lasted 6, and it was the cheapest reasonable mouse I could find.
It was fine for most of those years. Then the middle button stopped working, and I found I'd gotten so used to it I couldn't just accept not having one. I was lured into the habit of using modern, functional mice, and it was pretty bad. I never got a case of the shakes while trying feverishly to make the button work, but I got pretty frustrated. Middle mouse button is useful for all kinds of things, like opening extra browser tabs (luxury), to quickly scrolling around oversize pages and docs (productivity/luxury).
And so I finally put down money on a Logitech M500, which to me has always stood for the pinnacle of mid-priced quality. And it is. The scroll wheel and mid button are loosey goosey but the side buttons, hyper-speed scrolling, and everything else is perfect. I haven't had a mouse this good in years if not decades, and I bet it'll increase my blog posting, content, quality, and attractiveness by .5 if not 1.0% Mostly, when I was in the process of looking around for a cheaper, better, M500 alternative I was either disgusted or in disbelief.
And again, holy shit are there some expensive input devices for computers. The only thing I could see myself spending money on is the wireless, solar powered keyboard because when you write, a good keyboard is like a comfortable, quality pen and good paper rolled into one. For now, I'll simply say that I will never go back to scrolling like a sucker again. Hyper-fast scrolling makes even multi-thousand song playlist issues a thing of the past. Whirl that baby and fly past song titles so quick you can't even see them. Simply amazing, this future of mice.
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