This year, and I mean This Year, a lot of social media companies, unhappy with merely not capsizing and deflating and disappearing, are going through the unprecendented step of making themselves nuisances. From disenfranchising userbases to creating nonsense features that do nothing, to removing the publically-visible metrics that made their platforms interesting (before algorithms built digital cages so impenetrable that you need an anonymous browser to get anything useful out of them), to making themselves User Only Content, and more—the lions of yesteryear are shittier than ever, and less likely than ever to be replaced with better platforms. Let's face it: all your faved social media channels are going to hell.
Showing posts with label yupster. Show all posts
Showing posts with label yupster. Show all posts
2/5/14
Solve Ten Highly Important Problems by Tweeting!
You know, I always appreciate the effort when a corporation tries to solve a problem by involving its customers or other individuals. It's not like that company is already making pretty good money off of their customers, and it's not like executives could easily put $20,000+ each to a good-deeds project (not with most of their $140,000+ salaries in mortgages, leases, and other sundry investments). Shit: why not appeal to the conscience of the guy making barely $30,000/year and take the charitable donations out of him, and others like him? I mean, there's more of him than there are executives, right? It's economies of scale, not entitlement or greed, and nothing more... I've already talked about the pure wretchedness of asking people for charity money in a check-out line, but I'd like to rephrase some of my ideas about modern charity in general:
1. No Money? No Deal.
If I wanted to give money to a charity I would walk around a city until a charity salesperson cornered me and asked me if I had 'a couple minutes' to stand around and learn why what they do is important and worthy of my money. I'd listen, they'd pitch me a donation/month level, then they'd get angry while I tried to extricate myself from paying them money, trying to offer my time or effort (which nobody accepts because, evidently, I'm a useless piece of shit best employed as a wallet for special interests) in lieu of the money I need to live the barest simulacrum of an adult life. They wouldn't even treasure the fact that I stopped to give a sympathetic ear to their cause. To crown the experience, if I stayed strong and refused to pledge $5-50 a month (because I'm underemployed and all) they would get angry at me, the guy who promised only to hear them out patiently, uncomfortable on a downtown street. All because I don't want to pledge $25 a month when I don't really have $300 a year to pay to the Duck Saviors or the Eco-watch or the Gay Angel division of Premature Heroes dot com.
That's all completely painful bullshit. Seeing a young idealist go from thinking I'm an easy mark and a way to fill the day's quota to thinking I'm just a heartless waste of time hurts me, especially when they're so earnest and clearly involved, and I really don't have the money to spare, but the whole gambit is up. I don't want to sign up to pay a certain amount of money a month and be locked into that, when I could be back to being unemployed in a month's time. Compare their attitude when I'm walking away to their positive sales pitch and smile at the start. Yikes, all about a charity. That to me is one of the ugliest scenes imaginable, it's hard for me to say no to people my age who have to stand in the street and sling these good causes, but years of grinding near-poverty have made my heart very hard about charity. I only toss a bum a dime (or a dollar) on a few special occasions a year. I give monthly to the Red Cross already, because one time I just couldn't shake the charity salesperson, no matter how evasively I talked of good deeds and dollar-to-aid ratios. More than that I will not give until society gives me five figures wrapped up in a cushy salaried position.
1. No Money? No Deal.
If I wanted to give money to a charity I would walk around a city until a charity salesperson cornered me and asked me if I had 'a couple minutes' to stand around and learn why what they do is important and worthy of my money. I'd listen, they'd pitch me a donation/month level, then they'd get angry while I tried to extricate myself from paying them money, trying to offer my time or effort (which nobody accepts because, evidently, I'm a useless piece of shit best employed as a wallet for special interests) in lieu of the money I need to live the barest simulacrum of an adult life. They wouldn't even treasure the fact that I stopped to give a sympathetic ear to their cause. To crown the experience, if I stayed strong and refused to pledge $5-50 a month (because I'm underemployed and all) they would get angry at me, the guy who promised only to hear them out patiently, uncomfortable on a downtown street. All because I don't want to pledge $25 a month when I don't really have $300 a year to pay to the Duck Saviors or the Eco-watch or the Gay Angel division of Premature Heroes dot com.
That's all completely painful bullshit. Seeing a young idealist go from thinking I'm an easy mark and a way to fill the day's quota to thinking I'm just a heartless waste of time hurts me, especially when they're so earnest and clearly involved, and I really don't have the money to spare, but the whole gambit is up. I don't want to sign up to pay a certain amount of money a month and be locked into that, when I could be back to being unemployed in a month's time. Compare their attitude when I'm walking away to their positive sales pitch and smile at the start. Yikes, all about a charity. That to me is one of the ugliest scenes imaginable, it's hard for me to say no to people my age who have to stand in the street and sling these good causes, but years of grinding near-poverty have made my heart very hard about charity. I only toss a bum a dime (or a dollar) on a few special occasions a year. I give monthly to the Red Cross already, because one time I just couldn't shake the charity salesperson, no matter how evasively I talked of good deeds and dollar-to-aid ratios. More than that I will not give until society gives me five figures wrapped up in a cushy salaried position.
9/5/12
The New Microsoft Logo: Explicit Huey and the News Reference?
Well it's kind of funny on a few different levels. I could make a joke about the Samsung lawsuit also, if it was necessary. I don't think it's entirely necessary. I guess, though, what they are saying is that it's hip to be square. Or maybe they're just futureproofing the brand. It's tough to say, at this distance, what any of this really means. It could be a meaningless change, and it could be the herald of some insane twist ending so devious that it drove its author insane and hid itself in a dusty pile of manuscripts, waiting for a foolish hack's sweaty fingers.
The real issue isn't whether or not rounded edges are completely illegal, but rather what exactly a non-curved surface means for the consumer. Will it entail a less-flexible Microsoft Windows? Will tiling finally wear out its welcome?
Is this a sign that yupsters are on the make? Is the 99% going to have to deal with the fallout? Is the 100% going to have to? Where do I send strongly-worded letters about this? Why is my local mailbox welded shut?
No, this can't be so drastic. But my eyes can't be lying to me. This isn't anything like Morrowind to Oblivion in terms of regression, but it makes me wonder if I shouldn't switch to... but wait. Apple's undergone its brand shift already, and it's planning something as well. Macintosh and Microsoft. It's the ongoing browser crisis all over again, which makes Microsoft Chrome; Apple Firefox. Except Apple is a more yupster brand than Microsoft, anyway, so really nothing makes sense at all. I only hope they do a commercial with the proper mainstream pop rock song accompanying shots of stressed office workers, pale and/or fat kids, and septuagenarians holding conference calls on Win8 phones.
Well I for one don't care so much. Things will be alright even if the vistas are grimmer than the early-adopters and hype-men would like. I think Win7 is where it's at, and I'm happy to square about that. As long as it can run Age of Empires 2, an operating system is pretty good. Anyways, anyone who knows anything knows which was the best logo and is still puzzled, like me, about the incomprehensible loss of that incredible relic. Rest in peace,
Is this a sign that yupsters are on the make? Is the 99% going to have to deal with the fallout? Is the 100% going to have to? Where do I send strongly-worded letters about this? Why is my local mailbox welded shut?
No, this can't be so drastic. But my eyes can't be lying to me. This isn't anything like Morrowind to Oblivion in terms of regression, but it makes me wonder if I shouldn't switch to... but wait. Apple's undergone its brand shift already, and it's planning something as well. Macintosh and Microsoft. It's the ongoing browser crisis all over again, which makes Microsoft Chrome; Apple Firefox. Except Apple is a more yupster brand than Microsoft, anyway, so really nothing makes sense at all. I only hope they do a commercial with the proper mainstream pop rock song accompanying shots of stressed office workers, pale and/or fat kids, and septuagenarians holding conference calls on Win8 phones.
Well I for one don't care so much. Things will be alright even if the vistas are grimmer than the early-adopters and hype-men would like. I think Win7 is where it's at, and I'm happy to square about that. As long as it can run Age of Empires 2, an operating system is pretty good. Anyways, anyone who knows anything knows which was the best logo and is still puzzled, like me, about the incomprehensible loss of that incredible relic. Rest in peace,
8/8/12
A New Low For Homelessness
A pretty disturbing story got my attention when someone told me about this 'funny' thing that had happened in Toronto. When I heard about it was not surprised. Canada is full of people who actively hate the homeless, and while many have very solid reasons for this – from aggressive panhandlers to chronic addicts committing crimes – many others don't. It's prejudice, pure and simple. I don't like passing bums on the street, but the truth is I'm not outstandingly wealthy and I let them know I need my money so I can live. If they don't accept that: they're assholes. Most of them can't argue anyway and will settle for a cigarette. Simple enough way to deal with a highly complex issue...
Of course it's nothing new that a homeless person sleeping on the streets got pissed on or messed with in some way, probably by drunk, materialistic young people who have never really suffered. If you're sufficiently human, this story will make you angry. It doesn't matter that this bum slept by a lighted storefront and therefore made himself a target. Not every bum knows well enough to find a good place and not every bum is welcome in them. Nobody should see a sleeping form and think, "Yeah lets piss on this guy for laughs." even when drunk. It's not cool. It's petty, it's spiteful, and it really just points out that the pisser is a rampant idiot who would probably do more spiteful and dangerous things in time.
It could've not been a bum, but is the story any better for that? Someone's still pissing on someone else. That's not evil. It's malicious, sure, but it's not malicious enough to be anything but childish. Toronto is full of children who are old enough to drink and vote and pretend to be classy or swag. They're alternatively old and young. The oldest ones know better than to piss on the poor, because they have better weapons than urine. The young ones are as devoid of humanity, but don't have the power or imagination to really gouge the poor for all they're worth. This is the era we live in: if you have the credit rating of a homeless ghost and you're on the streets, the whole world hates you and you might as well hate them. Sooner or later they'll actually piss on you.
Note also how close this happened to a mall. I'm not saying there's a connection, but there could be a connection. I can't wait to see how small the fine for this kind of act is. There should be public shaming for this kind of antisocial behavior.
Of course it's nothing new that a homeless person sleeping on the streets got pissed on or messed with in some way, probably by drunk, materialistic young people who have never really suffered. If you're sufficiently human, this story will make you angry. It doesn't matter that this bum slept by a lighted storefront and therefore made himself a target. Not every bum knows well enough to find a good place and not every bum is welcome in them. Nobody should see a sleeping form and think, "Yeah lets piss on this guy for laughs." even when drunk. It's not cool. It's petty, it's spiteful, and it really just points out that the pisser is a rampant idiot who would probably do more spiteful and dangerous things in time.
It could've not been a bum, but is the story any better for that? Someone's still pissing on someone else. That's not evil. It's malicious, sure, but it's not malicious enough to be anything but childish. Toronto is full of children who are old enough to drink and vote and pretend to be classy or swag. They're alternatively old and young. The oldest ones know better than to piss on the poor, because they have better weapons than urine. The young ones are as devoid of humanity, but don't have the power or imagination to really gouge the poor for all they're worth. This is the era we live in: if you have the credit rating of a homeless ghost and you're on the streets, the whole world hates you and you might as well hate them. Sooner or later they'll actually piss on you.
Note also how close this happened to a mall. I'm not saying there's a connection, but there could be a connection. I can't wait to see how small the fine for this kind of act is. There should be public shaming for this kind of antisocial behavior.
7/15/12
User Comment Rodeo: The Lone Stranger
Anonymity is one of the internet's most cherished features. Various people forgo the problem of creating a persona, and exist anonymously online. This leads to all kinds of beliefs and misbehavior, generally in the form of being uncivil in some important way.
That or the internet is really ruining us, and the above is representative of something that has always been with us, waiting to change us for its own ends. This is either earnest and obviously not something that needs to happen or it's the sort of background trolling that I begin to wonder if anything on the internet is true at all.
All that shit I thought was serious and/or disturbing is just a mild and innocuous prank – but that's impossible, because there is obviously some need for things to have some truth, and it goes against the best types of logic that the whole shameful spectacle that is the internet is just a really immense, poorly-told joke.
The internet is obviously a product of mediocrity and apathy, enabled by under-appreciated and misused breakthroughs. It's a place much like earth, really. It's really just an echo, and nothing is really okay right now at the moment, but it's possible to believe that at some point things will get better. We will pull out of the great nosedive and begin to solve our problems again, and become better than we were.
We'll just obsessively communicate our stories and agendas while doing it.
That or the internet is really ruining us, and the above is representative of something that has always been with us, waiting to change us for its own ends. This is either earnest and obviously not something that needs to happen or it's the sort of background trolling that I begin to wonder if anything on the internet is true at all.
All that shit I thought was serious and/or disturbing is just a mild and innocuous prank – but that's impossible, because there is obviously some need for things to have some truth, and it goes against the best types of logic that the whole shameful spectacle that is the internet is just a really immense, poorly-told joke.
The internet is obviously a product of mediocrity and apathy, enabled by under-appreciated and misused breakthroughs. It's a place much like earth, really. It's really just an echo, and nothing is really okay right now at the moment, but it's possible to believe that at some point things will get better. We will pull out of the great nosedive and begin to solve our problems again, and become better than we were.
We'll just obsessively communicate our stories and agendas while doing it.
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