The Exciting World of Computer Mice

I'm not going to research this at all but there's a few hundred types of mice and mostly, from bargain to budget to bullshit crazy, they are not optimum. There's a sort of rule of mediocrity at play: the mice closest to median price are typically the best of the bunch. This rule doesn't really exist with keyboards, which is why I'm writing about mice. High-power web publications will tell you different, and in glowing language, but all the php coding and art direction can't hide the truth: cheap mice can be the best, mid-priced is the best bet for longevity in any case, and expensive mice are either awkward or insane.

Back in the day you could unscrew the bottom of the mouse and use the hard, small tracking ball as impromptu projectile. The insides were covered with dust and a patina of random filth, and it was easy to purposefully or accidentally break or sabotage one. Cleaning them out was something you did at home only, because there was nothing worse than the ball pit of a public mouse. Mice didn't have scrollwheels for years, also, which is really easy to forget and really charming to remember.

So it makes sense that there are now wireless mice with lasers, eight buttons, and adjustable weights, or that double as lighters, or whatever. The old rule still applies. Mid priced mice are worth at the minimum twice. I recall an old Microsoft mouse that worked fine for 8 years until the buttons finally gave up working properly. The last mouse I paid for (ie. was not included with the computer) lasted 6, and it was the cheapest reasonable mouse I could find.

It was fine for most of those years. Then the middle button stopped working, and I found I'd gotten so used to it I couldn't just accept not having one. I was lured into the habit of using modern, functional mice, and it was pretty bad. I never got a case of the shakes while trying feverishly to make the button work, but I got pretty frustrated. Middle mouse button is useful for all kinds of things, like opening extra browser tabs (luxury), to quickly scrolling around oversize pages and docs (productivity/luxury).

And so I finally put down money on a Logitech M500, which to me has always stood for the pinnacle of mid-priced quality. And it is. The scroll wheel and mid button are loosey goosey but the side buttons, hyper-speed scrolling, and everything else is perfect. I haven't had a mouse this good in years if not decades, and I bet it'll increase my blog posting, content, quality, and attractiveness by .5 if not 1.0% Mostly, when I was in the process of looking around for a cheaper, better, M500 alternative I was either disgusted or in disbelief.

And again, holy shit are there some expensive input devices for computers. The only thing I could see myself spending money on is the wireless, solar powered keyboard because when you write, a good keyboard is like a comfortable, quality pen and good paper rolled into one. For now, I'll simply say that I will never go back to scrolling like a sucker again. Hyper-fast scrolling makes even multi-thousand song playlist issues a thing of the past. Whirl that baby and fly past song titles so quick you can't even see them. Simply amazing, this future of mice.

Another Cool Thing from 2010

Most of the time I look at all the gadgetry for sale around the world and I remain unimpressed. Wireless, touch screen, 4G, Macintosh – none of these keywords really hook me. YouTube is filled with videos of possibly real people telling me how cool Kinect is or why I should get a better phone or how excited I should be about the endless possibilities of the not-so-modern obsession with gadgets. People actually make videos of themselves unpacking the completely superfluous things they buy, the neuroticism of which I'll get into in a later blog post.

I'm sure an iPhone is useful, but nationalism decrees that I should buy a Blackberry. I myself think, of course, that a Samsung cellphone with no special features is good enough for me. It even flips open, the battery life is a dream, and it can take a picture if I make it. However, I have a camera to take pictures, and a computer to waste my time on, so I don't need to focus on how many games are available for my cellphone, how sensitive the onboard camera is, or how fast it connects to the internet.

The only cool thing I've been informed about is the critically underhyped Logitech K750, the world's first (so far as I know) solar-powered wireless keyboard. Let me make an ignorant statement: wireless peripherals do not impress me. Wires are a small price to pay for not having to buy batteries or deal with delayed input. Most of the time the hassles of wires are just replaced by other, high-frequency hassles that I do not even like to think about. Wires were good enough for me...


...until I heard about a solar powered keyboard. The thing looks like a dream, and is the only gadget I've been excited about or thought about buying. It seems like Logitech, who have always been making quality peripherals, are actually interested in limiting the amount of hassles their products create. I haven't bought a single new peripheral in years. My current keyboard is indestructible: I've spilled wine, beer, and other things on it and it works like new. It's just loud, kind of clunky, and has a wire and doesn't work off solar power.

Reality check: my optical mouse is from some no-name brand and has put more costly mice to shame in online games frequented by professionals. It is also indestructible. I have tried to crush it when the world of computers has frustrated me, and it has survived falls, tumbles, tosses, flips, and jumps as if it is a skateboarder. Because my peripherals haven't failed me, I haven't ever had to look for new ones, but that K750 seems so cool, so useful, that it should almost be standard for new gadgets to have such features.

I can face the facts: keyboards are not interesting. That is true, but they are necessary and it helps if they can be moved around a lot. For a writer, a good keyboard is indispensable - and while all keyboards are dependable because of their simplicity, never before has anyone made a wireless keyboard that could be indefinitely useful and actually make more sense than a comparable wired unit. I guess if you hate the sun, nature, and Logitech, the new 'eco-friendly' keyboard won't matter to you, but I intend on getting one as soon as they're available in my ass-backwards country.