In the last installment of this series, I summarized many of 'the best posts' from the early period of this blog. Many of them are quite noteworthy – some are even almost excellent – but the truth of the matter is the best posts were yet to come. 2012, if my recollection is trusted, was the year of titanic posts in which the blog's appearance ceased to matter, I stopped worrying about everything but the words and content... it might've been the golden era.
Need proof? Early in the year I managed to conjure up a masterpiece that had even me convinced it would be a strong year in which sloppy blogging would be superceded by amazing work that would inspire only greater efforts in the future. It would become the most-viewed post I'd ever written, and has the least typos or fuckups of any article I've ever written. With it behind me, I was at least sure that good things were going to happen as long as I kept the faith.
Then I didn't post anything very noteworthy for months and kept pretty lax hours in addition to that. To be fair, on a personal level I was enjoying life and the crushing tedium of having a bottom-of-the-barrel blog was simply not something I wanted to engage too often. To be honest it was mostly a mess after that. There are probably decent posts but I don't feel like it's worth it. Essentially, that's the guiding principle behind lots of my forgettable posts – probably for the 8-23 people who read them for five minutes and move on – not worth it for me and they don't care. The... wait. List quotes again? Review of Publicato's 2012 most noteworthy posts inbound:
"The world's premiere first world country, hamstrung with voter apathy, political landslides, corruption, fraud, authoritarianism, paternalism, and every kind of stupid fucked up downright dangerous problem"
"This scathing, ignorant, and extremely stupid post basically reflects all the many things that are wrong"
"Pick your side and hold a fractious conflict against your opponents while the world withers."
I think it sounded a lot worse than it was. 2012 had a lot of User Comment Rodeos going on, which is okay with me. I somehow fooled myself into thinking it was the year of excessively good writing but my review didn't really bring up any nuggets of profundity. Seems pretty normal. It was a good year, honestly, and there were some gems, but the really fun or interesting things had gone out of it. My absolute favorite to write were the political junkie/Hunter S. Thompson style posts from 2011, they had a real sense of hustle and narrative to them that was as enjoying to craft as it is to look back on. 2012 did not provide a higher concept type of post and fell into a trend that you might be able to work out if you (and I don't expect anyone to) follow the thread of the posts of that year.
12/21/13
Publicato: A Review, A Reverie, A Reminiscence, Pt. 2
In the last part I described the humble beginnings of this still outrageously humble blog, and also that I began it with the less-than-noble intention of making a buck or two. Nevertheless the thing got done and survived long enough to see the year 2011... an exciting new time filled with possibility! Maybe I would get a mention on Twitter, or a shout out from a 'legit' and 'credible' internet personality/publication. Maybe I would be approached by CBS to make a really bad sitcom about my blog. I was dreaming big in those days, I tell you.
Mostly I was anxious and uncertain as to what would drive views. I would write something rather well paced and exciting (to me) with a great joke or two or a great sentence, and it would get 9 hits, and something I thought was much less qualitudinal would get 50+ hits and the next day I would go back to 4 hits and wonder what the hell I was doing. I figured it had a bit to do with maybe: 1) Self awareness issues on my part driving away traffic; 2) search term business beyond my simple pre-SEO understanding; 3) Life in the Content Farm; or 4) hits from automated crawlers or unlucky internet nomads Googling for information or high-power, hi-concept content. An alternative I still consider possible to this day is that I am simply incapable of getting any kind of reading on my audience, despite Google's pretty in-depth statistical records, and therefore cannot curate the content I write at all, since I am simply unsure about who reads Publicato and why.
I also took a very weak shot at embroiling this website in the twittersphere via a twitter throwaway account but I found it hard to tweet (of course now I've got some amazingly funny joke tweets, a basic understanding of twitter etiquette, and follow a number of pretty cool/inspirational/funny accounts) anything worthwhile and the plan #floundered like only the inspired failures of a lazy idiot can. Needless to say I remained firmly a sloppy blogger, and the slovenly appearance of my blog ("Templates, really? Fuck you Anonynimous Bosch...") kept me in the dark lands of the struggling writer trying out an anonymous blog – because blogging is a big joke, for morons who like words, that no respectable writer would do for any other reason than self promotion.
I watched a hell of a lot of TV in that time, it appears. I would be ashamed of the Survivor posts or even the attempts at getting more Conan buzz or maybe even a Conan mention (or a writing job in the show's fabled 'shoddy joke storage and hack room') if they weren't for the most part written well. In 2011 I wrote some of my favorite works, in retrospect, because I had a loose and easy style, was less afraid of swearing, and did some amazing pieces some of which will be included in the Best Of list nearer the end of the year. In a way, all this navel gazing is my gift to you, the reader. Maybe you missed my golden age (statistically probable)... now you can't.
Shit, I know most readers won't believe me. "Publicato never had a golden age," they'll say. I don't quite know about that... as a pessimist I would agree, but as the person who toiled on this site (okay, slacked around without often delivering fine work) I would disagree. It is true that the blog as a cultural medium is dead (Google it), and almost nobody reads this one, and if anything I should be ashamed (anonymity working as intended in this case), but I will continue doing something, anything, to prove I exist if only to myself at this point. Good moments used to happen all the time. Coming up are some of the greats, because I realize that a telling of the site's history is really not something anyone is interested in. 2011 was a quiet year, 2012 was as well, but heated up. 2013 is when I 'blew up' and the blog got about 80% of its total views (see paragraph 2 of this post to see how I feel about that). Right after I had burned out... here are some highlights from before that time, in roughly chronological order, linked via hypertext quotes:
"an otherwise great man who no doubt impersonates beggars in his spare time to help afford his suit habit"
"confrontation is the Achilles' heel of the misanthrope"
"Then again, what business do I have trying to equate reality with TV?"
"Today's "best years" are the teenage years, which makes sense, because when I was a teenager I had two shows convincing me that the best years were in later life"
"I must be doing something right, because I am not an internet millionaire by my blogging"
"the slightly toxic, slightly oily, slightly radioactive water of Canadian politics"
"a diseased time when I cared a little too much about what I listened to, and felt sharply any criticism of my musical taste"
"anything worse than using bandwidth to watch someone's clumsy hands fiddle with packaging for ten minutes while breathlessly talking about the gloss of the cardboard?"
"ideas are parasites"
"Viruses will outlive us all."
"maybe I'm a tin-eared bastard with a dumb, sloppy blog" 1*
"You'd have to be insane to look to the 80's and enjoy anything about the aesthetic"
"Then there are unpublished writers" 2*
That right there is a pretty much the definitive list of interesting and/or popular posts on Publicato from the years 2010 and 2011. Some of those quotes were chosen out of laziness, most of them seem completely audacious, but they represent my idea of the finest work of that time. Some of those articles are written in a jokey or derivative style which I have largely stopped doing, but they are all fantastique, man. There's also a Reviewing Fog article in which an online commentator just pwns the shit out of me but you have to search for something that good. As a sloppy blogger I reserve the right to let someone else do the work sometimes.
1* and 2* denote extreme quality and immense fondness on my part. Those are not links you want to miss if you have ever enjoyed reading this blog or if you are new to it and wonder why I keep on despite so obviously being a tremendous burned-out idiot. If any above links don't convince you, keep reading the blog in hopes I do post something good, or search this blog's history yourself. Note also: I would vouch for any of the above links as writing samples for not-too-serious interested parties. Well, that carries me all the way to 2012, and later I will finish this article series by summarizing 2012/2013 in a few snappy and very poignant sentences.
Mostly I was anxious and uncertain as to what would drive views. I would write something rather well paced and exciting (to me) with a great joke or two or a great sentence, and it would get 9 hits, and something I thought was much less qualitudinal would get 50+ hits and the next day I would go back to 4 hits and wonder what the hell I was doing. I figured it had a bit to do with maybe: 1) Self awareness issues on my part driving away traffic; 2) search term business beyond my simple pre-SEO understanding; 3) Life in the Content Farm; or 4) hits from automated crawlers or unlucky internet nomads Googling for information or high-power, hi-concept content. An alternative I still consider possible to this day is that I am simply incapable of getting any kind of reading on my audience, despite Google's pretty in-depth statistical records, and therefore cannot curate the content I write at all, since I am simply unsure about who reads Publicato and why.
I also took a very weak shot at embroiling this website in the twittersphere via a twitter throwaway account but I found it hard to tweet (of course now I've got some amazingly funny joke tweets, a basic understanding of twitter etiquette, and follow a number of pretty cool/inspirational/funny accounts) anything worthwhile and the plan #floundered like only the inspired failures of a lazy idiot can. Needless to say I remained firmly a sloppy blogger, and the slovenly appearance of my blog ("Templates, really? Fuck you Anonynimous Bosch...") kept me in the dark lands of the struggling writer trying out an anonymous blog – because blogging is a big joke, for morons who like words, that no respectable writer would do for any other reason than self promotion.
I watched a hell of a lot of TV in that time, it appears. I would be ashamed of the Survivor posts or even the attempts at getting more Conan buzz or maybe even a Conan mention (or a writing job in the show's fabled 'shoddy joke storage and hack room') if they weren't for the most part written well. In 2011 I wrote some of my favorite works, in retrospect, because I had a loose and easy style, was less afraid of swearing, and did some amazing pieces some of which will be included in the Best Of list nearer the end of the year. In a way, all this navel gazing is my gift to you, the reader. Maybe you missed my golden age (statistically probable)... now you can't.
Shit, I know most readers won't believe me. "Publicato never had a golden age," they'll say. I don't quite know about that... as a pessimist I would agree, but as the person who toiled on this site (okay, slacked around without often delivering fine work) I would disagree. It is true that the blog as a cultural medium is dead (Google it), and almost nobody reads this one, and if anything I should be ashamed (anonymity working as intended in this case), but I will continue doing something, anything, to prove I exist if only to myself at this point. Good moments used to happen all the time. Coming up are some of the greats, because I realize that a telling of the site's history is really not something anyone is interested in. 2011 was a quiet year, 2012 was as well, but heated up. 2013 is when I 'blew up' and the blog got about 80% of its total views (see paragraph 2 of this post to see how I feel about that). Right after I had burned out... here are some highlights from before that time, in roughly chronological order, linked via hypertext quotes:
"an otherwise great man who no doubt impersonates beggars in his spare time to help afford his suit habit"
"confrontation is the Achilles' heel of the misanthrope"
"Then again, what business do I have trying to equate reality with TV?"
"Today's "best years" are the teenage years, which makes sense, because when I was a teenager I had two shows convincing me that the best years were in later life"
"I must be doing something right, because I am not an internet millionaire by my blogging"
"the slightly toxic, slightly oily, slightly radioactive water of Canadian politics"
"a diseased time when I cared a little too much about what I listened to, and felt sharply any criticism of my musical taste"
"anything worse than using bandwidth to watch someone's clumsy hands fiddle with packaging for ten minutes while breathlessly talking about the gloss of the cardboard?"
"ideas are parasites"
"Viruses will outlive us all."
"maybe I'm a tin-eared bastard with a dumb, sloppy blog" 1*
"You'd have to be insane to look to the 80's and enjoy anything about the aesthetic"
"Then there are unpublished writers" 2*
That right there is a pretty much the definitive list of interesting and/or popular posts on Publicato from the years 2010 and 2011. Some of those quotes were chosen out of laziness, most of them seem completely audacious, but they represent my idea of the finest work of that time. Some of those articles are written in a jokey or derivative style which I have largely stopped doing, but they are all fantastique, man. There's also a Reviewing Fog article in which an online commentator just pwns the shit out of me but you have to search for something that good. As a sloppy blogger I reserve the right to let someone else do the work sometimes.
1* and 2* denote extreme quality and immense fondness on my part. Those are not links you want to miss if you have ever enjoyed reading this blog or if you are new to it and wonder why I keep on despite so obviously being a tremendous burned-out idiot. If any above links don't convince you, keep reading the blog in hopes I do post something good, or search this blog's history yourself. Note also: I would vouch for any of the above links as writing samples for not-too-serious interested parties. Well, that carries me all the way to 2012, and later I will finish this article series by summarizing 2012/2013 in a few snappy and very poignant sentences.
12/20/13
RIP: Winamp
December 20th 2013 was supposed to be the last day of Winamp (as a subsidiary/protectorate/whatever of AOL) and possibly of the whole thing altogether – I don't know how it could ever become abandonware, I was startled by the announcement. I still don't know what exactly will happen and it is causing me some mild anxiety. I got the latest release, though, and I plan to hold onto it and use it until I die or audio formats change too radically for Winamp to keep playing them.
I will forever remember Winamp as the definitive .mp3 player – I highly doubt the format will outlive the association in my mind. I've been using the program for as long as it has existed. For anyone not using iTunes, I assume it is the de facto media player, though I have seen the unironic use of Windows Media Player. Mp3 players and phones have also sort of reduced the need for a great audio player program, but I'll have the classic Winamp setup on a computer, because it's fantastic and not at all bullshitty and I like music enough to care.
Winamp is what I want in an audio player - low impact, versatile, plays all the usual formats without shitting itself or making a big deal about what it's doing. It is simple and basic in all the best ways. The playlist format is what I'm used to and I think it's fantastic, the newer and more modern Winamp is nowhere near as simple or painless to use. I hate browser style players, I don't need album art, and as long as I can use a keyboard shortcut to search I don't really need anything else, ever. It really whips the llama's ass even after more than a decade.
Fittingly enough, the Winamp community promises that plugin support will never die and that Winamp will continue to be functionally updated into the indefinite future. What would be best, of course, is if it was given to a not-for-profit developer (or back to its creators) and version 5.7 or 6 were to come out in a year or so. Personally I didn't like the AOL takeover and I wasn't at ease with how the installer was suddenly offering toolbars, paid versions, and free songs, but the program itself remained excellent, possibly without peer.
Frankly, I just hope it doesn't die. This is a sad day, regardless of the fact it wouldn't have happened if Winamp stayed purely independent. I don't think it will, to be honest, because it still has a sizable following. Its heartening to see that others feel the same way. Worst case scenario: it is over and everyone keeps using it for years before it inspires a modern remake. Best case scenario: it returns better than ever without corporate ties.
I will forever remember Winamp as the definitive .mp3 player – I highly doubt the format will outlive the association in my mind. I've been using the program for as long as it has existed. For anyone not using iTunes, I assume it is the de facto media player, though I have seen the unironic use of Windows Media Player. Mp3 players and phones have also sort of reduced the need for a great audio player program, but I'll have the classic Winamp setup on a computer, because it's fantastic and not at all bullshitty and I like music enough to care.
Winamp is what I want in an audio player - low impact, versatile, plays all the usual formats without shitting itself or making a big deal about what it's doing. It is simple and basic in all the best ways. The playlist format is what I'm used to and I think it's fantastic, the newer and more modern Winamp is nowhere near as simple or painless to use. I hate browser style players, I don't need album art, and as long as I can use a keyboard shortcut to search I don't really need anything else, ever. It really whips the llama's ass even after more than a decade.
Fittingly enough, the Winamp community promises that plugin support will never die and that Winamp will continue to be functionally updated into the indefinite future. What would be best, of course, is if it was given to a not-for-profit developer (or back to its creators) and version 5.7 or 6 were to come out in a year or so. Personally I didn't like the AOL takeover and I wasn't at ease with how the installer was suddenly offering toolbars, paid versions, and free songs, but the program itself remained excellent, possibly without peer.
Frankly, I just hope it doesn't die. This is a sad day, regardless of the fact it wouldn't have happened if Winamp stayed purely independent. I don't think it will, to be honest, because it still has a sizable following. Its heartening to see that others feel the same way. Worst case scenario: it is over and everyone keeps using it for years before it inspires a modern remake. Best case scenario: it returns better than ever without corporate ties.
12/19/13
Publicato: A Review, A Reverie, A Reminiscence, Pt.1
Three years and three months ago I started Publicato with dreams of click-jacking, SEO optimization, and AdSense pennies rolling in. I was unemployed, on my own, pretty cognizant of a dim future; my friends were either safely employed, studying, or hustling. I had some crazy and vague ideas about becoming a true internet personality, maybe doing some cross-promotion via Twitter, and getting into the thousands (re: readership) pretty quickly. Guest blogging my way up to a guest feature with a big name, like Vice or Cracked (which was still pretty legit in those days), or something even better (like a magazine website or maybe even print)... incredibly naive stuff, but I had my ambitions and what better way to pursue them than with Google Blogger?
Well, quite obviously, I should've made a hi-concept WordPress or Tumblr setup and done some mind-bending po-mo conceptualist shit. I knew about WordPress, but being a vaporwave blogger versus real Google monies was just too much. I had to make rent, I needed some better shirts and pants, maybe a third tie, something quantifiably adult that only true income or a career can provide. The internet was a different place in 2010 - there was less anxiety about content farming (which peaked and declined), it was less introspective, the 'blogosphere' was less of a joke term. Twitter was still kind of uncertain and it was easy enough to get by calling it a lifestyle service for people with goldfish brains and smartphones.
Times certainly have changed, but enough of that good memory stuff. This article is about Publicato... now you know what I wanted it to be (a $10-100/mo income supplement with good as hell jokes, sharp satire, reviewish articles and a ladder to proper freelance writing) and what it became (pro-bono, introspective, distracted, weary, strident, kind of phoned-in at times [sorry]) but what never changed was the mission, which was detailed in the first ever blog post I made (Canned Soup) on September 20, 2010:
"... if you let me I will create spectacular vistas of invented and existing things ... maybe not, and I will just be a bitter, judgmental internet spectator..."
Very prescient and wise, I'd say. It was the unstable first step, when I didn't know what to do, really, but wanted a bit of everything. Lots of blogs specialize or self-promote (often both in some ratio) and I didn't really have anything worth specializing in. What followed were mostly unremarkable posts, as I sought a voice and some kind of sense of purpose beyond getting a good number of readers and then monetizing the hell out of the blog. Name was chosen, quite obviously, as a piss take of Politico... the brand motto (slogan?) was derived from a line of Juvenalian satire. Satire was and remains quite important to this blog, but the aggregation of the odd sincere article and natural disinclination (not going to compete with the Onion), corroded any sense of purity of purpose. For reference: canned soup is still incredibly bland to me and I haven't found any good brands or varieties, nor does seasoning really solve the problem.
In the first three months I got a grand total of 31 hits, putting my dreams of monetization in jeopardy and essentially sending me directly into a dark place from which I have never emerged, all the while unemployed and pissing money into rent and other things. Reflecting on times gone by, I have to say the original content is actually quite decent. I would encourage any interested reader (assuming I have an actual readership and not just spider/bot/crawler traffic) to check out the older stuff all the way to 2010. 'Midst the hack writing there are a few gems, and the germs of some later fixations. If you're lazy or disinterested, don't despair! I will, before the year 2014, go through myself and post a list and review format blog post about the cream of the crop.
My blogging fortune changed dramatically in December 2010, when my recap of a Conan O'Brien (newly on TBS then) episode drew an unprecedented 200+ visitors, and even the attention of the audience member at the core of that episode. I was extremely excited by how that turned out, and did a sequel post about my stupid excitation, and replied to the comments like an idiot, and possibly established a readership that may or may not still exist. After that post I could expect more hits in a month than the first three months combined, and December 2010's stats eclipsed the next four months combined. Anecdotally, it would take almost a full year before I would get another non-spam comment.
You bet the grand visions returned to me then, and promptly fell away as reality intervened. A number of hardscrabble months followed, in which I realized that 70-100 views a month were fantastic compared to my old numbers but hardly encouraging. I wondered what I was doing wrong (probably everything) and how I could fix it (hoping to have to do nothing). I think I redesigned some font colors, the background, and the spacing in the header title... then kept on plugging away. I hoped that hard work could be substituted for buzz, but if anything this blog stands for the fact that you can do amazing work (hahah – just go with it) and get a minimal amount of interest. That brings me roughly to the end of 2010... please note that I am planning a 'best of Publicato' review (I am told it WILL unearth some gems), as well as at least one more part of reminiscence/retrospective.
Well, quite obviously, I should've made a hi-concept WordPress or Tumblr setup and done some mind-bending po-mo conceptualist shit. I knew about WordPress, but being a vaporwave blogger versus real Google monies was just too much. I had to make rent, I needed some better shirts and pants, maybe a third tie, something quantifiably adult that only true income or a career can provide. The internet was a different place in 2010 - there was less anxiety about content farming (which peaked and declined), it was less introspective, the 'blogosphere' was less of a joke term. Twitter was still kind of uncertain and it was easy enough to get by calling it a lifestyle service for people with goldfish brains and smartphones.
Times certainly have changed, but enough of that good memory stuff. This article is about Publicato... now you know what I wanted it to be (a $10-100/mo income supplement with good as hell jokes, sharp satire, reviewish articles and a ladder to proper freelance writing) and what it became (pro-bono, introspective, distracted, weary, strident, kind of phoned-in at times [sorry]) but what never changed was the mission, which was detailed in the first ever blog post I made (Canned Soup) on September 20, 2010:
"... if you let me I will create spectacular vistas of invented and existing things ... maybe not, and I will just be a bitter, judgmental internet spectator..."
Very prescient and wise, I'd say. It was the unstable first step, when I didn't know what to do, really, but wanted a bit of everything. Lots of blogs specialize or self-promote (often both in some ratio) and I didn't really have anything worth specializing in. What followed were mostly unremarkable posts, as I sought a voice and some kind of sense of purpose beyond getting a good number of readers and then monetizing the hell out of the blog. Name was chosen, quite obviously, as a piss take of Politico... the brand motto (slogan?) was derived from a line of Juvenalian satire. Satire was and remains quite important to this blog, but the aggregation of the odd sincere article and natural disinclination (not going to compete with the Onion), corroded any sense of purity of purpose. For reference: canned soup is still incredibly bland to me and I haven't found any good brands or varieties, nor does seasoning really solve the problem.
In the first three months I got a grand total of 31 hits, putting my dreams of monetization in jeopardy and essentially sending me directly into a dark place from which I have never emerged, all the while unemployed and pissing money into rent and other things. Reflecting on times gone by, I have to say the original content is actually quite decent. I would encourage any interested reader (assuming I have an actual readership and not just spider/bot/crawler traffic) to check out the older stuff all the way to 2010. 'Midst the hack writing there are a few gems, and the germs of some later fixations. If you're lazy or disinterested, don't despair! I will, before the year 2014, go through myself and post a list and review format blog post about the cream of the crop.
My blogging fortune changed dramatically in December 2010, when my recap of a Conan O'Brien (newly on TBS then) episode drew an unprecedented 200+ visitors, and even the attention of the audience member at the core of that episode. I was extremely excited by how that turned out, and did a sequel post about my stupid excitation, and replied to the comments like an idiot, and possibly established a readership that may or may not still exist. After that post I could expect more hits in a month than the first three months combined, and December 2010's stats eclipsed the next four months combined. Anecdotally, it would take almost a full year before I would get another non-spam comment.
You bet the grand visions returned to me then, and promptly fell away as reality intervened. A number of hardscrabble months followed, in which I realized that 70-100 views a month were fantastic compared to my old numbers but hardly encouraging. I wondered what I was doing wrong (probably everything) and how I could fix it (hoping to have to do nothing). I think I redesigned some font colors, the background, and the spacing in the header title... then kept on plugging away. I hoped that hard work could be substituted for buzz, but if anything this blog stands for the fact that you can do amazing work (hahah – just go with it) and get a minimal amount of interest. That brings me roughly to the end of 2010... please note that I am planning a 'best of Publicato' review (I am told it WILL unearth some gems), as well as at least one more part of reminiscence/retrospective.
12/18/13
The Descent from Suspicion to Paranoia
I think it's something everyone suffers at least once, and the delusional cases will imagine otherwise and go on their way, so there is probably little to gain 'blogging' about this. The best things are of course suspicions one holds about one's own self, they are like gold nuggets in this context. I don't think enough people are paranoid about their goals and raison d'etre, and many of those that are should probably calm down a bit. That's right: the wrong people doubt their goals and dreams; the wrong people also embrace them. I find it all quite odd to be honest.
But also amusing. If you are mendacious enough you can of course turn people into paranoid wrecks with a bit of clever spitefulness and without 'too much effort'. Paranoid people cause all kinds of things to happen – outbursts and shit ranging from 'humorous', to 'disturbing', and all the way down into 'fatal and misguided'. Paranoia has contributed to or caused most of the greatest crimes in history, and at least as many wars and ideological conflicts as insecurity.
Fear is an important primal emotion. It has kept alive more animals than it has killed, but with the expansion of human culture, fear remained largely ubiquitous, creeping into each new facet of life and leading to all kinds of skullduggery and shenanigans. Add to that fear a good measure of anxiety, and you have the recipe for today's fearful, angsty environment... just waiting to see what or who betrays it, what or who is looking, what or who is next going to do a bad thing that justifies the fear and qualifies the anxiety as logical. The outcomes are everywhere but are epitomized in the rise of super surveillance culture. Yea, they did in the past worry about God's judgement, but now there are others who can count the hairs on one's head and the evil plans in one's heart, and judge one for it...
Most people cross the descent pretty quickly and find it incredibly uncomfortable, even in hindsight. Some people actually grow from it, though, and replace their saner selves with characters they actually admire. Thriving paranoids. I wouldn't pretend to know how or why this happens in some cases – probably related to some kind of dissociation or depersonalization – because I never pretend to be an expert. Have we descended to a point of cultural hallucinatory paranoia? Is it already schizophrenic? Do we care?
When the descent drags on it can really mess people up, but sometimes also provide them with moments of lucidity wherein change is possible. Generally there is a lot of suffering and anxiety, the ability to trust others is diminished, and in the final stages all kinds of the worst suspicions are confirmed without any resort to fact or reality. It is quite sad, and sometimes incurable.
So be safe: paranoia is the common cold of mental illnesses, and your contribution to it could upset the balance of the world you live in, to even your own detriment (until you disarm your perception of the world with willful ignorance, deceive yourself, etc). Ways of combating paranoia can include reassuring a paranoiac of the fallibility of all people, if they can handle it telling them about the basic uncertainty of life may also help. Society at large is kind of paranoid, and a lot of people get caught up in that, and mostly it's a waste of time that limits potential and enjoyment of life.
Hopefully this post helps someone who is piece-of-shitly considering messing with somebody. Decide against it. People are generally too dumb for hi-octane mind games without suffering a bunch. Your negativity spreads and has actual effects on the world. It's not worth it: you might win a few points, but you will compromise the game.
But also amusing. If you are mendacious enough you can of course turn people into paranoid wrecks with a bit of clever spitefulness and without 'too much effort'. Paranoid people cause all kinds of things to happen – outbursts and shit ranging from 'humorous', to 'disturbing', and all the way down into 'fatal and misguided'. Paranoia has contributed to or caused most of the greatest crimes in history, and at least as many wars and ideological conflicts as insecurity.
Fear is an important primal emotion. It has kept alive more animals than it has killed, but with the expansion of human culture, fear remained largely ubiquitous, creeping into each new facet of life and leading to all kinds of skullduggery and shenanigans. Add to that fear a good measure of anxiety, and you have the recipe for today's fearful, angsty environment... just waiting to see what or who betrays it, what or who is looking, what or who is next going to do a bad thing that justifies the fear and qualifies the anxiety as logical. The outcomes are everywhere but are epitomized in the rise of super surveillance culture. Yea, they did in the past worry about God's judgement, but now there are others who can count the hairs on one's head and the evil plans in one's heart, and judge one for it...
Most people cross the descent pretty quickly and find it incredibly uncomfortable, even in hindsight. Some people actually grow from it, though, and replace their saner selves with characters they actually admire. Thriving paranoids. I wouldn't pretend to know how or why this happens in some cases – probably related to some kind of dissociation or depersonalization – because I never pretend to be an expert. Have we descended to a point of cultural hallucinatory paranoia? Is it already schizophrenic? Do we care?
When the descent drags on it can really mess people up, but sometimes also provide them with moments of lucidity wherein change is possible. Generally there is a lot of suffering and anxiety, the ability to trust others is diminished, and in the final stages all kinds of the worst suspicions are confirmed without any resort to fact or reality. It is quite sad, and sometimes incurable.
So be safe: paranoia is the common cold of mental illnesses, and your contribution to it could upset the balance of the world you live in, to even your own detriment (until you disarm your perception of the world with willful ignorance, deceive yourself, etc). Ways of combating paranoia can include reassuring a paranoiac of the fallibility of all people, if they can handle it telling them about the basic uncertainty of life may also help. Society at large is kind of paranoid, and a lot of people get caught up in that, and mostly it's a waste of time that limits potential and enjoyment of life.
Hopefully this post helps someone who is piece-of-shitly considering messing with somebody. Decide against it. People are generally too dumb for hi-octane mind games without suffering a bunch. Your negativity spreads and has actual effects on the world. It's not worth it: you might win a few points, but you will compromise the game.
12/12/13
Uruguay Stays Strong: Prepares to get Stronger
Whether it kills brain cells or kills cancer cells; whether it's a gateway drug or an end-point drug; whether using it is moral or immoral – Uruguay did the only sane thing remaining after years of overblown rhetoric by anti-drug idiots versus pro-drug idiots, and we can only hope the rest of the world learns something.
For this I commend Uruguay, whatever else their problems and failings. Thanks for having actual human beings in your government and treating your populace like actual, rational, grown-adult human beings as well.
I honestly don't know why neither pro-nor-anti marijuana people in the rest of the world have become so humorless about the issue. What a bunch of stunted robot shits, maybe Bukowski was right when he said weed kills your soul – but he was a soulless drunk himself.
For this I commend Uruguay, whatever else their problems and failings. Thanks for having actual human beings in your government and treating your populace like actual, rational, grown-adult human beings as well.
I honestly don't know why neither pro-nor-anti marijuana people in the rest of the world have become so humorless about the issue. What a bunch of stunted robot shits, maybe Bukowski was right when he said weed kills your soul – but he was a soulless drunk himself.
12/11/13
Swiss Fail to Change Important Thing: Small Swiss Story
In Switzerland, often mentioned as one of the best places in the world to be born into (it's basically a super elite club even if you sweep the streets or are congenitally unemployable – but your German better be legible). It's the perfect blend of right wing nonsense (stolen Jewish wealth, mandatory conscription, high rates of gun ownership) with left wing nonsense (neutrality, direct democracy [non of the corrupt and apathetic representative shit], multilingualism, environmental awareness, and scientific aspiration) and stuff anyone can enjoy like a literate and well educated populace, wealth beyond measure, and low crime rates. It makes wealthy enclaves in otherwise first world countries look like rat holes for spiteful misers, and it makes one think it will take about a million years for the rest of the world to get anywhere near that point. Switzerland is roughly that good, so good it makes Germany look less perfect (but you're still pretty good, Germany, keep your head up, your most corrupt industries probably help Switzerland all the time) but because Switzerland is a human enterprise*, it's a damn ways away from perfect.
"But even we, the vaunted and legendary Swiss, will hold our well-to-do poor hostage for increased profit and an 'A+' grade by business fuckers like Forbes Weekly. "**
The most recent initiative, which was overturned by direct democracy, was to limit executive pay to only 12 times what the lowest earner in the company made. Seems pretty good, right? The man or woman sitting on his or her ass and occasionally sweating when tax season or investigators come around still gets to make waaaaay more than the person sweeping the floors and cleaning the toilets. And this is Switzerland, so the person cleaning the toilets is banking decent pay in a very stable currency. In many ways, had it passed, it would have set a precedent that agitators around the world could've used to influence their corporate/government complexes to perhaps setting a 1:50 or 1:100 cap. But capping max pay is not a free market thing, apparently, even though it frees up wealth to do other things than pay 30,000 dollar tabs and buy 25 million dollar yachts and drink 1000 dollar mineral waters and whatever the hell else good money is pissed away into these days.
Needless to say, the trickle-down crowd won a spiritual victory in Switzerland earlier this year.
Inequality is the cause celebre of anyone who gives a fuck about the poor right now. Incidentally, correcting this imbalance will probably also have good effects on other non-destitute levels of society around the world and only be moderately bad to luxury industries that are populated by assholes and cater mostly to exhibitionists, miser spendthrifts, borderline sociopaths, and their hopeless children. With opulence running out of hand while poor people openly starve (in the era when humanity can split the atom [and see beyond it] and use robots to land robots on the surface of Mars) it is pretty obvious that wealth inequality is a problem. It's too complex to solve via blog, I am certain of that much. In a repressive oligarchy like anything in the Americas one would not expect any rich person, from drug warlord to white collar criminal to CEO (most of these guys work together and sometimes all three are the same guy), to give up a cent of their millions/billions for the poor, but in Europe, that 'socialist' den, they actually don't go crazy for the idea either.
You're outta luck, poor people! Aha, but then you're used to that....
It was something like 65% to 34%. Turns out Switzerland could give a fuck what the USA thinks about being the most right and prosperous country, because Switzerland pretty much invented inhuman rightist corporatism and are too neutral to be proud even. Anyone else get a chill down their spine just now? The downtrodden of the world are still looking for a precedent while the rampant worship of fundamentalist extremist oligarchy continues unabated and without any checks on its progress. The small people can eat their hats, as usual, so don't get excited or anything.
(* - I'm beginning to doubt the Swiss even did anything about the poisoned dolphin situation)
(** - not an actual quote or intended to represent any actual Swiss oligarch)
"But even we, the vaunted and legendary Swiss, will hold our well-to-do poor hostage for increased profit and an 'A+' grade by business fuckers like Forbes Weekly. "**
The most recent initiative, which was overturned by direct democracy, was to limit executive pay to only 12 times what the lowest earner in the company made. Seems pretty good, right? The man or woman sitting on his or her ass and occasionally sweating when tax season or investigators come around still gets to make waaaaay more than the person sweeping the floors and cleaning the toilets. And this is Switzerland, so the person cleaning the toilets is banking decent pay in a very stable currency. In many ways, had it passed, it would have set a precedent that agitators around the world could've used to influence their corporate/government complexes to perhaps setting a 1:50 or 1:100 cap. But capping max pay is not a free market thing, apparently, even though it frees up wealth to do other things than pay 30,000 dollar tabs and buy 25 million dollar yachts and drink 1000 dollar mineral waters and whatever the hell else good money is pissed away into these days.
Needless to say, the trickle-down crowd won a spiritual victory in Switzerland earlier this year.
Inequality is the cause celebre of anyone who gives a fuck about the poor right now. Incidentally, correcting this imbalance will probably also have good effects on other non-destitute levels of society around the world and only be moderately bad to luxury industries that are populated by assholes and cater mostly to exhibitionists, miser spendthrifts, borderline sociopaths, and their hopeless children. With opulence running out of hand while poor people openly starve (in the era when humanity can split the atom [and see beyond it] and use robots to land robots on the surface of Mars) it is pretty obvious that wealth inequality is a problem. It's too complex to solve via blog, I am certain of that much. In a repressive oligarchy like anything in the Americas one would not expect any rich person, from drug warlord to white collar criminal to CEO (most of these guys work together and sometimes all three are the same guy), to give up a cent of their millions/billions for the poor, but in Europe, that 'socialist' den, they actually don't go crazy for the idea either.
You're outta luck, poor people! Aha, but then you're used to that....
It was something like 65% to 34%. Turns out Switzerland could give a fuck what the USA thinks about being the most right and prosperous country, because Switzerland pretty much invented inhuman rightist corporatism and are too neutral to be proud even. Anyone else get a chill down their spine just now? The downtrodden of the world are still looking for a precedent while the rampant worship of fundamentalist extremist oligarchy continues unabated and without any checks on its progress. The small people can eat their hats, as usual, so don't get excited or anything.
(* - I'm beginning to doubt the Swiss even did anything about the poisoned dolphin situation)
(** - not an actual quote or intended to represent any actual Swiss oligarch)
12/5/13
Attack of the Unkillable Time Killer
Flash games are a pretty mixed bag. All the benefits of casual gaming paired with the feel-good impetus of wasting time. It's pretty great until you hit one of those bullshit games (and there are many) that are not just tough but potentially unbalanced... then your time killing comes to an end, because you're either not good enough or the game is just plain turd flavor bullshit. I've played plenty of games whose presentation was awful, whose gameplay was too simple and easy to be worthwhile, and whose English was execrable, but one game that manages to get all that right still manages to
I just got finished with what I consider an unbeatable level in a TD that otherwise seemed pretty cool. I tried all kinds of things to beat the level. I abused the powers, tried using different arrangements of towers, and in the final rounds wasn't even getting as far as on my first try. 'Bullshit' I thought, "Fuck this game, whoever made it are either savants at TD games, sadistic, had a very specific strategy in mind, or plain didn't test the fucking thing. Fucking little dinosaur shits." because I was quite angry that I couldn't kill time in as casual a manner as I am comfortable with. I don't want to just breeze through, but the difficulty curve can't spike all at once.
I've played games I'm fairly sure are broken before. Sometimes there's a good split of things that are broken in your favor and you can continue. Sometimes I blame the game for being broken when I can't beat it like when I'm getting hadoukened to death or other ridiculous things are happening like getting swarmed by bastards in a TD that was until that point fairly challenging but not ridiculous. Anyone who has played too many TDs knows automatically when they've lost long before it happens. I borderline hate that game right down to the cutesy graphics and absolutely wrong paleontological context. I actually hate nothing about it, but it has bested me and that makes me angry.
Listen, here's the challenge I want to lay down. If anyone can beat Dino Assault TD with a perfect rating (which I don't think is easy since it's got multiple pain in the ass levels) you win. I doubt anyone would willingly do so, since there is so much bullshit you need to overcome just to beat the second chapter (full disclosure: I never reached the third chapter). The towers all cost more than they're worth, the powers are outrageously useless and weak, and the enemies are plentiful and resilient. To the developers: you win. Probably you didn't balance the game enough, though, because it's hard as week-old shit. I generally stop trying when it's apparent you are scornful of your audience and actively want them to lose.
Dino Assault isn't even slightly close to the gold standards of flash TD games (Cursed Treasure series by IriySoft). It could be... it's got a difficulty curve that is appealing at first and then casually leaves you behind as if you're a dummy who should know the exact combinations of overpriced towers and split-second skill spamming required to win.
Whoever manages to achieve a perfect victory with evidence will be king of the loser online-TD time killer crowd, and I will crown them with a title so splendorous that it will almost not be shameful. Then again, I doubt many people exist who can do it and I seriously doubt those who can read this blog. The offer stands until 9 December 2013, 12:00 GMT. I gave up: I can't waste more than a half hour on level or I know I'm no longer killing, but instead wasting, time.
Update: I get drawn back in, anyway of course. The war against productivity is never truly won, and frequently makes me look (and feel) like a foolish idiot.
Second Update: While I was playing this I was ignoring Kingdom Rush 2, which is actually a great comparison point for non-bullshit difficulty curves and better game design. Note that I think Dino Assault is 'good' but far out of the league of officially recognized excellency.
I just got finished with what I consider an unbeatable level in a TD that otherwise seemed pretty cool. I tried all kinds of things to beat the level. I abused the powers, tried using different arrangements of towers, and in the final rounds wasn't even getting as far as on my first try. 'Bullshit' I thought, "Fuck this game, whoever made it are either savants at TD games, sadistic, had a very specific strategy in mind, or plain didn't test the fucking thing. Fucking little dinosaur shits." because I was quite angry that I couldn't kill time in as casual a manner as I am comfortable with. I don't want to just breeze through, but the difficulty curve can't spike all at once.
I've played games I'm fairly sure are broken before. Sometimes there's a good split of things that are broken in your favor and you can continue. Sometimes I blame the game for being broken when I can't beat it like when I'm getting hadoukened to death or other ridiculous things are happening like getting swarmed by bastards in a TD that was until that point fairly challenging but not ridiculous. Anyone who has played too many TDs knows automatically when they've lost long before it happens. I borderline hate that game right down to the cutesy graphics and absolutely wrong paleontological context. I actually hate nothing about it, but it has bested me and that makes me angry.
Listen, here's the challenge I want to lay down. If anyone can beat Dino Assault TD with a perfect rating (which I don't think is easy since it's got multiple pain in the ass levels) you win. I doubt anyone would willingly do so, since there is so much bullshit you need to overcome just to beat the second chapter (full disclosure: I never reached the third chapter). The towers all cost more than they're worth, the powers are outrageously useless and weak, and the enemies are plentiful and resilient. To the developers: you win. Probably you didn't balance the game enough, though, because it's hard as week-old shit. I generally stop trying when it's apparent you are scornful of your audience and actively want them to lose.
Dino Assault isn't even slightly close to the gold standards of flash TD games (Cursed Treasure series by IriySoft). It could be... it's got a difficulty curve that is appealing at first and then casually leaves you behind as if you're a dummy who should know the exact combinations of overpriced towers and split-second skill spamming required to win.
Whoever manages to achieve a perfect victory with evidence will be king of the loser online-TD time killer crowd, and I will crown them with a title so splendorous that it will almost not be shameful. Then again, I doubt many people exist who can do it and I seriously doubt those who can read this blog. The offer stands until 9 December 2013, 12:00 GMT. I gave up: I can't waste more than a half hour on level or I know I'm no longer killing, but instead wasting, time.
Update: I get drawn back in, anyway of course. The war against productivity is never truly won, and frequently makes me look (and feel) like a foolish idiot.
Second Update: While I was playing this I was ignoring Kingdom Rush 2, which is actually a great comparison point for non-bullshit difficulty curves and better game design. Note that I think Dino Assault is 'good' but far out of the league of officially recognized excellency.
12/3/13
Is Death Grips this Era's Rage Against the Machine?
[citation needed] Apart from the heightened requirements for being considered legit anti-corporate and the fact that Death Grips isn't that political, it almost seems possible. Time moves in cycles, and it has been a while since there was a Rage Against The Machine-esque group in or near the mainstream, that I know of, but Death Grips seem to be the perfect candidate. Behind the facade, they don't even have coherent words to get an agenda from... actually this whole thing is falling apart: the new Rage would obviously be a New Sincerity band.
However, I get this sense from Death Grips that they're projecting an even bigger identity than what they actually possess. It's like how Rage was part of the 'Che Guevara T-Shirt era' of counterculture, a largely corporate construction referencing or alluding to deep things like a Tibetan monk on fire or how bad racism was. Death Grips is the new counterculture, which may be more legit, but has even less coherence.
As far as I know only Death Grip's tendency to release their albums for free is solidly anti-corporate or at all activist, and they don't really project any leftism or rightism in their lyrics at all. They more exist in a great, drugged out realm where politics can't claim them for its own insidious purpose. The idea that they are not just dudes making music, and instead dudes getting paid a lot to make music for some kind of viral marketing project, is very tempting mostly because I'm a hugely cynical skeptic.
The machine has won. Rage was one of its products and the crowd that used to listen to them sincerely have all moved on, mostly towards being yuppies. Death Grips exists in the absence of hope or progress, an aesthetic the group wallows in, as if to prove there is nothing left – a statement powerful enough to put it on equal footing with the largest, least counterculture countercultural movement of the 1990s.
It all relies on the idea that maybe Death Grips is saying something by screaming incoherently about drugs and paranoia and lust, but I know for a fact the group's listeners do not wear Che Guevara shirts. I have my ideas about their fans, in particular I think a lot of them are anything but as hardcore and mentally unsound as the music suggests, and the music writes a bigger cheque than Rage ever did because it seems to mostly be balls-out insanity.
Note that both groups were signed to Epic Records Co. Death Grips is no longer with them due to self-releasing albums and other rebellious things that Rage never did at all. Rage did manage to get a very comprehensive listing as 'questionable music' in the wake of 9/11, when any actual radical had not listened to them for nearly a decade. Ultimately very idea of counterculture 1990s is either very scary or incredibly laughable so I would put the two groups in different categories at least temporarily. I don't think the distinction would help either band and to be honest I don't think they have anything in common at all.
However: this does not mean that Death Grips is not this era's Rage Against the Machine. Epic Records execs must have seen the same underground/indie/counterculture buzz in both bands in order to want to sign them. Nobody cares that much about either band right now, but Death Grips is alive at least. Death Grips did not get the over-mainstream cool people and instead nabbed the indie nerds who are too cool and self-aware for horrorcore but into something similar, to the eternal chagrin of the Execs, who then dumped DG after finding or making a suitable excuse. I know they were part of the corporate overlords' plans somehow. Just like Rage. More the fools us.[citation needed]
However, I get this sense from Death Grips that they're projecting an even bigger identity than what they actually possess. It's like how Rage was part of the 'Che Guevara T-Shirt era' of counterculture, a largely corporate construction referencing or alluding to deep things like a Tibetan monk on fire or how bad racism was. Death Grips is the new counterculture, which may be more legit, but has even less coherence.
As far as I know only Death Grip's tendency to release their albums for free is solidly anti-corporate or at all activist, and they don't really project any leftism or rightism in their lyrics at all. They more exist in a great, drugged out realm where politics can't claim them for its own insidious purpose. The idea that they are not just dudes making music, and instead dudes getting paid a lot to make music for some kind of viral marketing project, is very tempting mostly because I'm a hugely cynical skeptic.
The machine has won. Rage was one of its products and the crowd that used to listen to them sincerely have all moved on, mostly towards being yuppies. Death Grips exists in the absence of hope or progress, an aesthetic the group wallows in, as if to prove there is nothing left – a statement powerful enough to put it on equal footing with the largest, least counterculture countercultural movement of the 1990s.
It all relies on the idea that maybe Death Grips is saying something by screaming incoherently about drugs and paranoia and lust, but I know for a fact the group's listeners do not wear Che Guevara shirts. I have my ideas about their fans, in particular I think a lot of them are anything but as hardcore and mentally unsound as the music suggests, and the music writes a bigger cheque than Rage ever did because it seems to mostly be balls-out insanity.
Note that both groups were signed to Epic Records Co. Death Grips is no longer with them due to self-releasing albums and other rebellious things that Rage never did at all. Rage did manage to get a very comprehensive listing as 'questionable music' in the wake of 9/11, when any actual radical had not listened to them for nearly a decade. Ultimately very idea of counterculture 1990s is either very scary or incredibly laughable so I would put the two groups in different categories at least temporarily. I don't think the distinction would help either band and to be honest I don't think they have anything in common at all.
However: this does not mean that Death Grips is not this era's Rage Against the Machine. Epic Records execs must have seen the same underground/indie/counterculture buzz in both bands in order to want to sign them. Nobody cares that much about either band right now, but Death Grips is alive at least. Death Grips did not get the over-mainstream cool people and instead nabbed the indie nerds who are too cool and self-aware for horrorcore but into something similar, to the eternal chagrin of the Execs, who then dumped DG after finding or making a suitable excuse. I know they were part of the corporate overlords' plans somehow. Just like Rage. More the fools us.[citation needed]
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