Holy shit since the last post there has been a lot to discuss, but the internet spent so long discussing it, most often through the lens of tunnel vision, that I am actually too disgusted and confused to really bring anything worthwhile into the, aha, 'discourse'.
The big story in Canada is the political race to become premier of the 300 billion dollar baby, also known as the province of Ontario. What's going on? Well some observers have remarked that it's the saddest race of all time. It's a lost cause province and none of the candidates seem to be worth a damn, none of them have really outlined reasonable or fully-formed ideas, and the incumbent party had blown $1,000,000,000 dollars (CDN) on absolutely nothing at all. That's a small slice of the debt, but it is a legitimate reason to throw Dalton McGuinty out of the province and possibly out of Canada entirely, as well as flattening the pesky suburbs that helped fuck everything up.
Basically the terrible, tear-stained, barely competent, unthinking political creatures that are eligible for premiership according the laws of the province are:
Tim Hudak - This guy's making waves by promising to cut everything he can get his hands on, dismantle public services and outsource them to contractors, and somehow create a million jobs. As you might expect, he is actually relatively popular and seen by many as the best of four terrible, province-destroying candidates. He looks like a church deacon who works as a used car salesman. About as charismatic as Stephen Harper, possibly even more conservative. Works for the Progressive Conservatives, moneyed interests, and the fine upstanding people of Niagara-West/Glanbrook.
Kathleen Wynne - This lady inherited a provincial government somehow more hated than Mike Harris'. Look that one up and you will see that her work was cut out for her from day one, when her cowardly, incompetent and wasteful predecessor resigned in full knowledge that he would be pilloried and quite possibly impeached for gross uselessness. But Kathleen opposes any actions taken against public unions and somehow basically wants things to stay the same, emphasizing that the status quo which put Ontario deeper in the hole than California could potentially also rescue the province. She works for the Liberal Party, moneyed interests, and the fine, upstanding people of Don Valley West.
Andrea Horwath - I don't actually know if it's possible to go on, but Andrea is a bit like Tim or Kathleen, but more in favor of public unions. If she was a billionaire she would likely get elected, but as it is she is not likely to win anymore than a token amount of votes. She works for the NDP, unionized workers, moneyed interests, and the fine, upstanding people of Hamilton Centre.
Mike Schreiner - I think this guy is running as more of a joke, but he seems rather chill. He works for the Green Party, nature, hippies, and hasn't actually won any seats with his party. If the vote is split, as it should be in times of extreme hopelessness, this guy would ensure that not too much of Ontario's natural wealth and beauty is knocked down for Wal-Marts, gravel pits, and strip malls.
Split the goddamn vote, Ontario. If Rob Ford were running in this race you'd probably vote for him, but you don't have that option. You don't actually have any attractive options, so good luck and may you fare well.
In the rest of the world all kinds of crazy stuff has been going on, but don't get me wrong there were probably hopeful and heartwarming things as well. But. The Front Nationale won something for France, in the E.U. parliament, a good sign for plurality. Multiple shootings and stabbings, insanity, public comment meltdowns, a few bombs, rumors of war, Ukrainian distress, and nobody found that Malaysia Air jet. Yep. The conspiracy nuts are getting plenty of fodder for the next wave of crazy. I'd go into it but I don't have the time at the moment, but any of those subjects are ripe for some mistakenly satirical posts later. A bunch of 'huh, no shit' kind of malarky, but it never does turn out right when I do it. Keep keeping on, I'll do my best towards that end as well.
