User Comment Rodeo: Point vs. Counterpoint.

Everybody's heard the story. I probably don't need to go into it, and I don't really want to. It's a chilling one. This post and ripost say something about when and when not to point fingers or ask for collective reflection. It's not even so funny.

The bottom-most post is kind of the numbskull post, or the comedic foil. Whoever posted that doesn't really have anything to say, but wants to say it. Hello 85% of comment boards, peanut gallery fucks, and general idiot populace who don't do the rest of us a favor by keeping to themselves. No empathy, just a sense of indignation that a potential sociopath managed to cleverly avoid the same security that allegedly asked for their name prior to leaving the country. Pro-tip: next time don't use a travel agent. Your inconvenience is completely unrelated and unimportant to this tragic story involving the death of a young expat student. If you're trying to make a joke: fuck yourself. Get away from anything serious, and never consider a job in comedy because you're about as funny as a bag of grass clippings. Next, the rejoinder to the above middle post:

Yes, fine, sure. Way to speak for all of Canada. Somewhat thoughtful, and you're definitely right that it was not the time to reflect on our cultural or societal values (which include ATTENTION GETTING, SELF-WORSHIP, THE REDUCTION OF HUMAN LIFE, GREED, DESENSITIZATION TO VIOLENCE VIA ALL MEDIA AND OVER-REPORTAGE, and PUBLICITY). But to be fair I don't know what the first poster wanted us to examine in modern society. The post could've been about anything. Mentally-ill people aren't ostracized to the point where they commit crimes. The committed 'insane' live shitty lives, but some of them are kept from society for a reason.

I think, ultimately, that it's the ubiquity of the alleged perpetrator of this murder that should give us pause. There are many young men and women 'on the get' who do whatever is necessary to get whatever they want. They have infantile minds and dangerous ideas, they hold very little value in life and too much in material. They are everywhere and they run banks, deficits, companies, governments, the law, and society in general. And yet we are not afraid. And yet when, say, a regional economy is dismembered and sent in bloody pieces around the world, its ex-employees festering in neglect and despair, a similar crime is not perceived to have taken place.

Maybe it's all rhetoric, but maybe it's not. Maybe the poster posted a dumb question on the old message boards, maybe the poster wasn't thinking. Maybe the poster hates society. Maybe it's just a simple story made complex by the ideas people are injecting into it. Then again, it's Canada's Most Insane Crime of the Season, and every sensationalist will jump onto it with an agenda. All those agendas will end up burying the very point of the story: the victim. And it always happens that way. Maybe we should take a goddamn minute to think about how these things come to pass, and how they may not reflect merely one diseased individual.

Or maybe we should get back to feeling good about our society because it does not literally encourage malice.

I haven't read CJR for a while and then return to read this: a timely and concise collection of regrettable headlines. I do get a bit of a kick out of jokes sometimes, I have to say – and these are some fine, amusing headlines. For instance:

"173 animals seized; 2 face cruelty charges"

That sounds like a really nice group of animals, why would they ever get arrested? Did the innocent ones get set free? Were there at the minimum fair trails? What kind of cruelty charges? In reality it's probably some sort of crazy neglect story which makes it, somehow, even more disturbingly funny than ever.

And it's not even the best one; the best one, predictably enough, is about a shark.

The Exciting World of Computer Mice

I'm not going to research this at all but there's a few hundred types of mice and mostly, from bargain to budget to bullshit crazy, they are not optimum. There's a sort of rule of mediocrity at play: the mice closest to median price are typically the best of the bunch. This rule doesn't really exist with keyboards, which is why I'm writing about mice. High-power web publications will tell you different, and in glowing language, but all the php coding and art direction can't hide the truth: cheap mice can be the best, mid-priced is the best bet for longevity in any case, and expensive mice are either awkward or insane.

Back in the day you could unscrew the bottom of the mouse and use the hard, small tracking ball as impromptu projectile. The insides were covered with dust and a patina of random filth, and it was easy to purposefully or accidentally break or sabotage one. Cleaning them out was something you did at home only, because there was nothing worse than the ball pit of a public mouse. Mice didn't have scrollwheels for years, also, which is really easy to forget and really charming to remember.

So it makes sense that there are now wireless mice with lasers, eight buttons, and adjustable weights, or that double as lighters, or whatever. The old rule still applies. Mid priced mice are worth at the minimum twice. I recall an old Microsoft mouse that worked fine for 8 years until the buttons finally gave up working properly. The last mouse I paid for (ie. was not included with the computer) lasted 6, and it was the cheapest reasonable mouse I could find.

It was fine for most of those years. Then the middle button stopped working, and I found I'd gotten so used to it I couldn't just accept not having one. I was lured into the habit of using modern, functional mice, and it was pretty bad. I never got a case of the shakes while trying feverishly to make the button work, but I got pretty frustrated. Middle mouse button is useful for all kinds of things, like opening extra browser tabs (luxury), to quickly scrolling around oversize pages and docs (productivity/luxury).

And so I finally put down money on a Logitech M500, which to me has always stood for the pinnacle of mid-priced quality. And it is. The scroll wheel and mid button are loosey goosey but the side buttons, hyper-speed scrolling, and everything else is perfect. I haven't had a mouse this good in years if not decades, and I bet it'll increase my blog posting, content, quality, and attractiveness by .5 if not 1.0% Mostly, when I was in the process of looking around for a cheaper, better, M500 alternative I was either disgusted or in disbelief.

And again, holy shit are there some expensive input devices for computers. The only thing I could see myself spending money on is the wireless, solar powered keyboard because when you write, a good keyboard is like a comfortable, quality pen and good paper rolled into one. For now, I'll simply say that I will never go back to scrolling like a sucker again. Hyper-fast scrolling makes even multi-thousand song playlist issues a thing of the past. Whirl that baby and fly past song titles so quick you can't even see them. Simply amazing, this future of mice.

Diablo 3? Let's get drunk and play Diablo 2.

While I am somewhat interested in Diablo 3, it's just easier to find an old copy of D2, with the expansion pack if possible, and just drink and play that. Considering: D3 is a 12 gigabyte download and will murder anyone with a bandwidth cap; D2 installs in under 2 GB with the expansion, offers similarly limitless possibilities for time wasting and compulsive gameplay.

Probably the best part is that 60 dollars can buy a decent amount of liquor, which makes getting drunk and playing Diablo 2 cost-effective compared to drinking and playing Diablo 3. Analysts have offered the ludicrous explanation that although the game will sell very well, it will not outlive its predecessor.

Personally I don't know what I'm going to do. Nothing even seems real anymore in this brave new world.

Diablo 3 + 18 hours. Servers are down, the title screen and introduction cinematic were nice, there were plenty of graphics options and I can't play but I can fiddle around for optimum (imaginary) performance. My attempts at a screencapture were  failures, and since Diablo 3 does not run in the Steam framework, pressing F12 did nothing.

The second login attempt was successful, I had to accept a terms of use contract. Then another one, and then a third one, at which point I thought the game was bugging out. Then I got to the character creation screen. The options, it seemed, were tenfold. Five classes, four of which I am unfamiliar with, and two gender options... long gone are the days when an assassin was a woman and there was nothing to do about it.

Ongoing coverage may follow, especially if the game ceases to function normally or servers go down again.

Diablo 3 + 20 hours. The game alt-tabs very smoothly, perhaps more smoothly than any modern game I've recently played. This is extremely surprising and I post immediately about it. More exciting discoveries remain to be found, and the idea of drinking and playing Diablo 2, in which you can't even break the scenery to pieces, seems laughable.

Diablo 3. 24 hours later. Battle.net has been killed and will return whenever. 

Recent News Suggests that the Swiss are Idiots Too

Recent news suggests that the Swiss, long known for looking down at other countries for wars and stupid decisions, have a tendency to be pretty stupid, too. Having a rave at a zoo is probably one of the dumbest things I've ever heard of, since any legit raves take place in abandoned warehouses or vampire nightclubs.

Stupid event planning like this is bound to lead to problems. This story wouldn't even have existed in a rational world organized by logical thinkers and responsible adults. However... c'est la vie.

The dummy crowd have claimed another two victims, which weren't even human, at literally the dumbest possible event. There were few other outcomes than dead animals and a shocked public. The User Comment Rodeo v1.2x instantly pinged the most interesting and unthinkable response, which I felt compelled to post here so as to offer context:

This scathing, ignorant, and extremely stupid post basically reflects all the many things that are wrong with the story. These animals didn't belong in Switzerland – at all. But whatever, animals in captivity should be allowed to live fruitless and unfulfilling lives for the entertainment of religious wieners who believe that animals in captivity are precious and that there's nothing wrong with harvesting a few for the benefit of the public.

On the other hand this post is obviously a troll, from the double-single-standard animal abuse refrain that the evildoers be made to suffer to the same extent of their animal victims. Fucking dolphins overdosed at a rave. This world is evidently a few idiots away from a critical mass of stupidity, arrogance, and incompetence that will likely remain unnoticed for years.

Some Swiss losers deserve to have their drugs taken away from them, forever, for attending this insane farce of an event. The fools who organized this event should have their event-planning licenses revoked in perpetuity. The zoo is obviously going to buy two new dolphins and I'm sorry for their loss, even if I don't agree with their policies or whoever vetted this insane rave.

RIP MCA

First of all, Hello Nasty was the shit. I don't care who you are or what you're doing, fuck that, it was the shit. I don't think there was anything else that year that I heard that was in any way close. That album on repeat was golden for me, and "Intergalactic" was the fucking song to get hyped to. If they'd have released the same album this year I'd probably be just as happy with it. That's more than a decade late and I would've still bought two copies.

I only heard, outside of my own music playing, three Beastie Boys songs on Friday. Lots of people, of course, didn't have a clue who MCA was. Squares, hipsters, you name it - the critically uncool didn't know about anything and weren't the least discouraged. One car, at least, drove past me blaring "Fight For Your Right"* which I can't disagree with at all. I wasn't going to party on Friday, but anyone who was should have at least heard that song. If not: for shame. (*"No Sleep Till Brooklyn" is arguably a better anthem but I'm not going to argue about things I love anyway. That would be childish of me.

There's not much to say. Literally any other place on the internet will give a detailed biography send-up, information about Adam Yauch, tell personal stories and all that. Even Wikipedia put up the news. So there's nothing to do but cast this tiny, shitty, sloppy blog post into the void, with a few words of praise.

Fucking righteous, awesome music that never wore out its welcome by anyone with an open mind and a working set of ears. Sick rhymes and flowing, all around illest contender.

It seems like the true end of an era. To say there are or were no bands like the Beastie Boys is ignorant, but they were still unique. Nobody else ever wrote a song called "Egg Man", for example. If there was, it was either in another context entirely or it was ripped off of the original – or it simply wasn't as good.

That's all, then. There's at least one Beastie Boys album I haven't listened to, and I guess it's time to take that final plunge, except I have to wait at least six months to buy it at a mainstream record store, and at least a year at independent record shops. Otherwise I just know the looks I'll get.


That's a shit Friday, right there.

Does the Internet Make You Sick?

Well I think anybody who has thought about it already knows the answer, and there's no point in spoiling a surprise, so...

What Hasn't Made Us Sick?

Someone knowledgeable should write a book about that. I'm deeply allergic to knowing anything about health or myself, so I would probably not buy it, but I would pay someone to do the work. I would pay at utmost 5.00 in whatever currency 5.00 still means something. If there is some sort of hypervaluation crisis (and it would be one, don't even fool yourself) I would pay .5, .05, down to .000005 depending on circumstances. The project of discerning whether or not the internet can make you sick could be completed (or at least started definitively), with global co-operation and collaboration (via the internet), in a as little as 12 hours. For free, I'm sure.

If the internet has taught me anything it is to always rush noobs, pick the noobiest weapon/build, the following acronyms (too many; mainly 'afaik'), there is no such thing as too many clicks, don't ever get involved in anything, avoid chat in general unless to friends – and most importantly: to not be a total dick when you start beating the shit out of other players, in any game except online chess. Also doubt everything, and avoid anyone who has anything to say as they're most likely charlatans or shills.

So the prognosis isn't great.The suppression of it is variable. The internet is still more a force for freedom, except it, like any other media, can be just as detrimental to it. Oh and dangerous, possibly catastrophic. But that's just about anything, and the laws of mediocrity will hopefully minimize the odds of anything extraordinary happening.

Well, No, Actually... Pt. 1

News is, at heart, a predictable beast. Whenever news stories follow the deranged, subnormal individuals of the deranged species known as humankind, there is a certain amount of inexplicable posturing and bristling. So a forty year old woman almost died eating a hamburger that weighed in at almost 10,000 calories, or enough food energy to feed two normal human beings for a week, or keep one, at minimum, alive for three weeks.

Excess is nothing new. Billions are spent on dumb, unwholesome, or dangerous things each day. Governments don't blink at billion dollar stealth fighters, million-inmate prisons, or corporate welfare. It only makes sense that governments such as spend money and run incredible deficits are propped up by fat, ungainly, mentally inadequate wasters who waste money in a similar manner.

The metaphor is clear: social arteries are hardening from lack of vigor and surfeit of fatty junk expenditure. We don't want to help the poor, at all, because it's their fault that society failed them and they're addicted to drugs or gambling or they're mentally ill. Meanwhile soft-hearted activists agitate for safe-injections sites for addicts. All of this means that the destitute and drug-addled are left to rot and roundly despised for being filthy, druggy pieces of shit with no redeeming features - mini politicians who would shank a much better individual for twenty dollars and change.

All these stories are seemingly designed to destroy my ability to sympathize. I can no longer approach many stories with pity or empathy or understanding. This woman should be burned for energy, or thrown into a diamond mine, or made to prepare her own food. The story cited here suggests that the problem is that people 'eat out' too often and that they should be encouraged to eat healthily and at home.

Fine. Or we can write these dumb pieces of shit off and stop supporting them at all. No hospitalization, no news stories, no free food for fat fucks. If we let some addicts rot, we should let them all rot. There is no obesity crisis: certain people are destroying themselves. Let them. They will not be missed.

Also, there is no obesity crisis. Some people are actually bound to be fat. Fat people exist outside of the caricature of fast-food swilling, eat-while-they-drive, cankle-waddling shits. It's similar to how thin people exist without bulimia, cigarettes, starvation, or the modelling industry.

Of course a sensationalist has to jump in and report the unreportable. This isn't news. It's social pathology that nobody pays attention to, because the reporters, when they can spell correctly, can hardly be expected to imagine that all of this might mean something.

User Comment Rodeo: Canada's C-10 Bill

I miss Jack Layton more than ever lately. Politics have not changed at all from the bland regressive mess they've been, the Canadian populace is still a comatose rabble with vaguely confusedly libertarian/socially-fiscally-liberal/rationally-ideologically-conservative opinions that lead nowhere. The world's premiere first world country, hamstrung with voter apathy, political landslides, corruption, fraud, authoritarianism, paternalism, and every kind of stupid fucked up downright dangerous problem.

Oh but on paper, according to the UN, and if you're from anywhere else it looks like a fantastic country. The countryside is clean (hah!), there is hope and work around each corner (for therapists, social workers, and morticians), the economy is booming (incentives and make-work, stat! and don't worry about any funding cuts), and the political system is sound, popular, and fair. Voters are engaged, and everyone has a place at the table, and access to whatever information they need.

Phone lines are buzzing. There are even allegations that America has been making a rather large number of methodical calls to certain individuals, etc... But what's hearsay, anyway?

And recently the country was certified as the safest place on earth, filled with the happiest, most drug-free, productive and intelligent human beings in history. From the happy, well-integrated ethnic stereotypes; to the happy, well-integrated aboriginal stereotypes; to the happy, well-integrated generic stereotypes, it's a country on the rise. You might as well refer to it as the planet's 'chilly, under-appreciated paradise'.

It's also rife with potential for political skullduggery. You should see the sort of discourse an omnibus crime bill generates. Therefore I am reviving the User Comment Rodeo from hibernation, and the effects of the omnibus crime bill will be on display. Today it seems to suggest that posting the best possible user comment first would be advantageous, so here it is, the winner, the king:

Moderates are really the best, especially those with sharp analytical skill. The rating has been downvoted by, probably, the massive crowd of idiots that generally constitute the internet. Marijuana, or pot, enthusiasts also clicked the old thumbs-down button. The 15 votes in favor could have come from any side of the argument. It's truly the crown jewel of the show: gateway drug analysis, great line spacing, impeccable writing... and the youth-stoner shout out at the end is masterful. This seemed, to me, like the rationale of... a prescription drug fiend. Or an abstinence fiend, or any kind of fiend. But at least a fiend, and somewhat independent-minded, and not an ideologue.

Minecraft 1.2.4

Oh it's sometimes interesting to play a piece of software and occasionally check the changelog/update-feed for it. It's not something I do often, but with a game like Minecraft, where updating means your cities crumble into the sea, and gargantuan monsters rise up from the deep, it's good to see what might happen. Sometimes it's pretty safe.

Mostly there's:

"Made cats more realistic (read: probably annoying). I hope it’s enough to cancel out any joy you may receive from the previous feature!"