Fact Blackout Day

Fun fact: the internet is nebulous and strange and sometimes even in the space of a few hours it can change considerably. The use of the internet to distribute intellectual property freely, known colloquially as piracy, has attracted numerous smear campaigns, intimidation campaigns, and lobbying campaigns. Governments are full of boomers who don't know very much about the internet, so the lobbyists have an easy time because they represent moneyed interests and bellyache about the rampant theft of video, audio, and data property.

Today a number of internet entities, most notably Wikipedia, have opted to protest upcoming US legislation that vaguely confronts the threat of internet piracy, copyright infringement, and intellectual property theft. Full understanding of the legislation is available to nerds, lawyers, and people with too much time on their hands. So far as I can simplify it: another step down the road to internet nationalization, censorship, and the death of free information.

The anti-theft team is as powerful as the net-neutrality/free-internet movement is popular. Most people don't really care either way, as long as they can get to Facebook and/or email. Most people also don't really understand the internet, or care if it gets cut up into various national zones. Who in America wants to read a Finnish webcomic, or a Chilean blog? That's a waste of time. But Finns and Chileans want American entertainment, so it's best to cut the audiences away from each other and limit the odds of pirated material being available online.

In the past, powerful entertainment corporations have volleyed multimillion dollar lawsuits at 15 year old pirates, but that Napster-era policy is outdated because nobody liked it and there is no way a teenager is going to afford legal defense fees. The new approach is preventative and cautious and roughly as imperative as the old one, but instead of going after the users of the internet or even consulting them, it just pressures the gigantic blind beast known as national government into various overbearing measures that will change the internet for the worst.

Or so I am told. The internet is already somewhat nationalized, mildly censored, and it's so full of nonsense that even if 80% of it were deleted, banned, and forgotten, there would still be far too much of it to control or monitor. So the state of the internet is that all the bluster of the last decade regarding IP laws and censorship and nationalization is actually going to come to some kind of action. For my part I have serious doubts about the usefulness or fairness of the proposed measures, and I wish all opponents of a cut-up, abused internet a conclusive victory.

But the crowd is ignorant and the corporation is indignant. That is why awareness drives like today's are important, to ensure that any lies surrounding this sordid business are dispelled.

Noteworthy Timekiller Alert!

A relatively new tower defense game, available online and for free, called Kingdom Rush is probably the best timekiller available. In terms of quality and polish, this is perhaps the best online tower defense I've ever seen. I am not even going to post screenshots, because they are unnecessary. This game has garnered 17 million plays, is twenty megabytes in size, and can basically make an entire day disappear.

About a year ago I invested a lot of time into the Cursed Treasure series. It was a magnificent game, and Kingdom Rush is along the same lines, except you play for the good team. There are four basic types of tower which upgrade into awesome and excellent killing machines. There are only two special powers and they are both useful and sometimes necessary. Kingdom Rush is not even close to being as long as, say, Gemcraft or anything, but it works so well that I found myself replaying old scenarios for bonus points.

My only gripe is that I can't get to the final secret level and am missing two upgrade points and have no idea where to find them. There's a frozen sasquatch in one level that I think has to do with it, but I can't unlock it. The game also takes a while to get used to - all the towers feel weak at first, but there are a few tactical approaches which mean your towers get as many shots into an enemy as possible. Furthermore there is a great amount of strategy in which towers you build and which you upgrade. Though tower placement is not free-form, I really can't complain about it.

The aesthetics of the game are flawless, it runs well, looks fantastic, and the campaign is excellent. If you are not hateful of tower defense games or sick of them, this is probably your best bet for a while. I myself love a good tower defense game and the really fine work is rare, but so rewarding. You know I will even post a screenshot, just to emphasize that although the game looks prosaic, and is, it plays well enough that you'll forget about the formula and just enjoy it.

That's what games are about. A free game of this quality is always a good thing, and I'd like to warn as many people about it as I can, even though most of the internet knows already. Sometimes you have to have an unoffensive, focused way of killing time, and it helps to spend it on something decent instead of the many polished but bullshit things out there.

Bonus mode includes interesting restrictions which force you to think strategically, as well as in terms of complete overkill. Because to hell with the forces of death and evil.

Blog Writing Guide 2012

First of all, in the spirit of a grand joke, I wholeheartedly encourage you to take up blogging. Blogging is a plodding, shoddy habit that some people are paid for, which is a shameful thing in and of itself. The trick is to be famous, make things up, or attempt to be as faultlessly abrasive as possible. Really if you do all three, add in your perquisite dosage of edgy attitude and snappy writing, you can possibly get one thousand views in less than twenty-four hours. You ask in despair, "But how does one do such a thing?" I have the answer ready, but you'll not like this medicine at all. It's the blog writing guide 2012.

Welcome to the new year. Now tell me in as few words as possible: how do you feel about it? Congratulations: you have your first blog post, and fittingly enough it is tweet-length for cross-publication. If it's catchy enough in some way it could become a meme or, better yet, a book deal. But as always, there is a hangover/honeymoon effect: that trick may not pay off twice. Where in hell does a blog go? What would you do if your name and your blog somehow become connected years down the line, and your children begin to laugh while you eat a joyless breakfast?

Those may be important questions, but in the spirit of guidance I have laboured for hours to provide some helpful hints about blogging in This Year, 2012. One such hint is to never use capslock unless you're making a snide call about the internet. So always check your capslock situation before you begin to blog beautifully into the vapid void of the internet.

The above image illustrates a point. It helps to have abstract imagery to understand how to judge blogs, and that one, which cost me twenty-five cents of internet currency, roughly represents my blog. Other blogs do not need abstracts because they have positive branding such as logos and merchandise. Can you even begin to imagine your life after merchandise? You will be able to afford three sandwiches and a beer each day – or an installment plan on a brand new guitar, which you can then blog about.

Steam's Holiday Sale 2011: Achievement Hunting, Coal, and Spite Purchases

Valve is a legendary computer game company responsible for Half Life. Now they're a monolithic entity which is known for its online distribution/other platform, Steam. Every year Steam is the meta-location for sales where the prices are low enough to trick you into buying games you will play for five hours then forget. Steam includes a library that tallies up the amount of games you have, and the amount of hours you have wasted on each.

In late 2011, Steam began its ambitious Holiday Sale/Contest Event. The premise was simple but awe-inspiring: users would complete various trivial/useless tasks (known as 'achievements' in gamer parlance) in order to win various paraphernalia including games, coupons, and chances to win further prizes which were cunningly disguised as useless bits of coal. This was the first time in history that I witnessed and experienced achievements having an actual purpose, and an actual real-world benefit. This is the sort of thing that will either be forgotten in the dismal future of gaming, or will inspire a great upcoming era where interesting games are buoyed by thoughtful, interesting distribution.

The event got people to replay old games for the sake of a small chance at winning something. Each day there were a handful of new things to do, and once again the participants would be heartbroken to receive a free copy of a game they already owned, a useless piece of coal (which could be crafted into heartbreak), or a coupon which would be valid into March 2012. Now it was a generous decision to allow participants to finish achievements until the last minutes of the contest.

Well the event finished, and there is a draw which will take place on the 3rd of January, 2012. The winner takes every game available on Steam. Other prizes exist but are vague and generally related to wishlist fulfillment. I will say that it was an interesting and largely successful event, though when it started there were some hiccups with the Steam service and at times the company's servers were swamped with download requests and purchases.

Valve clearly means to be good to both the industry and its consumers, as events like the Christmas Sale 2011 show. Publishers sell a lot of units on the basis of sale pricing, and customers tend to buy things they would otherwise ignore, because the price (and season) warrant a bit of curious purchasing. Everybody enjoys themselves and content producers profit. On top of that win/win situation, Steam offered an interesting contest event which encouraged users to replay titles they may have forgotten about, in the exciting pursuit of prizes. Looking back, it was perhaps the best Steam sale thus far.

The Fate of the Book

So much very subtle and quiet hype about the end of the bound stack of paper sheets known as 'the book'. There have been many books over the years, and I think everyone can agree that they were not always perfect, nor ever had an overwhelming reputation for improving the world. But there's a certain something to books and even if they are dying, take heart: our generation will be able to come by books cheaply for the duration of our existence, unless they begin burning bales of books.

If the global stock of books is significantly destroyed in the next twenty years, or publishing is severely repressed by economic or colluded forces, then at the very least books will have predicted that. Basic reading and communication skills will not likely be replaced, so language will continue, and the flow of ideas will merely take on another, potentially better form. Or our eyes will atrophy from an unmitigated hegemony of digital screens, flashing lights, and confused information.

Maybe there will be a tidal-wave of information in the future which will overwhelm us. Maybe it will get the better of us. We could be changed forever.

Or the book could go on well into the future, as some type of elitist symbol that nobody understands. Probably this view of the book's future is already some cliche that has been analyzed and exploited in hundreds of books. Maybe the book will suffer a renaissance in a few years, or maybe all the news sensationalism and existential dawdling will come to naught, and the book will be as ubiquitous and burdensome as ever – perhaps forever.

In the end, if it goes, the memory of the book will either be exterminated, merely forgotten, or enshrined by some freakish bibliophilia committee as the centerpoint of some futurist, knowledge-based cargo cult. And however it goes, the book will remain as at least a symbol.

But in the meantime there is all kinds of mawkishness about books and print media in general. It seems that the publication industry gets more fatalistic while the technology industry fills with empty hype. There is no real confrontation between the two industries. Largely, the recent history of the matter is that the print industry has had to accept and learn to work with tech, gadget, and electronics industries. It's not really the same as the music industry and the internet, though there are similarities.

So these publishers and maybe even some bibliophiles are very worried and the internet is very unconcerned. That's basically the gist of the story. In my mind television, the postal service, and radio are the real danger zones, and they're still around more than ten years after the internet. Writing killed or perverted most oral tradition anyway, so whatever happens at this point is fair and not unprecedented.

The Atom Analogy

In my mind and less in my speech, and of course also in the writing and speech of others, I really enjoy and admire the atom analogy. Steak and gravy go together like carbon and hydrogen atoms. People are really like atoms. Really. They are lone individuals but they form compounds and bonds. And since everything is made of atoms the analogy is undeniable. You'd have to be contrary and perverse and maybe even ignorant to deny it.

You have essential unity via essentially individual units [chaotic unity, of course, but you get what you get]. The universe and its near-infinite children. Surely this is a cliche so utterly used up that it can no longer be regarded for its innate profundity. And this is an era in which truly profound things are rarely unexploited, and many go unnoticed, and explanations are plentiful but useless.

This is no trick of relativity, either; it is the flow of energy in a near-infinite system, a constant. So humans are like atoms and minds are like particle waves, and it makes sense to an ignoramus such as myself because there are particle waves and atoms which constitute existence. And a dam in the flow, another cliche: the river of life, of time, as symbol.

And what happens when too many atoms get together? When they are large atoms in a small space, strange things may be known to happen. Weird events unfold and pathetic explanations are offered half-heartedly. In the face of such overwhelming reality any response is valid, but no response is perfect. So an atomic blast can be likened to the cultural, but especially political and scientific, mentality that created and employed them.

It could also be likened to any crisis, or any situation. All it would take is a little ingenuity and time and flexibility. The analogy doesn't have to be terrifying, or depressing, or uplifting. In the end it is only so much information, among so much other information, that may or may not convey an idea or relation.

The information cliche has to be recalled - information age, intellectual property, the internet. The fatal overdose and over-reliance on indirect information. And yet without indirect information we would be as good as blind, liable to agree to any sort of political or social manipulation. And 'chemical realism' proposes: a statistically mediocre, unfair, yet still incredible life that may or may not be understandable. Everything else is secondary, to use another cliche.

In such a reality, runaway events are not unknown. Their products can be disturbing or beautiful. All outcomes are possible and likely, variety and monotony are equals, there is the positive sense of an open-ended question that has been posed since our eyes opened. Status is part illusion and part deception when elementary similarity is the only trustworthy rule. The question is do we use Occam's Razor, or Occam's Lathe?

Black Friday

I decided to do a commercialism/consumerism bit because in the United States of America it is Black Friday, which is a day when the bottom falls out of consumerism and people draw blood for 20% discounts on dishrags and various goods manufactured overseas. The obvious problem is that Black Friday is not patriotic. If you want to see how eager the average citizen of the world is to sell out their country, you just have to search YouTube for Black Friday videos. It seems most people would bum-rush the secret service for a $20 doohickey or polymer-based thingamajig.

What really sickens me is the subliminal vibes I get from the videos. There are literally herds of consumers. Yes, they are consumers at that point and, to the people advertising at them, not humans. They forget themselves in a strange orgy of incompetent and overloaded greed. I see that as degradation. There are a few news stories about it each year but no gigantic outcry.

Well, I think that Black Friday makes explicit the implicit degradation of consumerism, in which every bit of human potential is swept up in a subhuman madness to get the most for your money - from corporations to the individuals who mimic their behavior. There are no particular individuals to blame for a pathological, systematic problem. I don't hate consumerists. I don't even pity them. They are just bums with money, and in this era being a philistine is completely acceptable, so they work towards the next holiday, the next sale, the next iPhone, et cetera...

Despite facile attempts at being ethical and ecologically friendly, consumerism is more and more a bald lie that people chase because there's little else to do in the modern world but buy things, favourite things, attend things, unbox things, use them, show them off, and throw them out when they become outdated or broken. Oh and if you don't fit into this system there are labels for you: from communist to hobo to slob to snob. This goes beyond the differences between a pedestrian and a highbrow activist. I don't want my and my descendant's future sold to the highest bidder and sold at inflated prices to a mindless horde. I have to wonder if the bottom has fallen out of consumerism, but despite scenes of insane lemmingism I feel it will continue to be a powerful force in the world. Smug capitalism laughs, because this is all a useful distraction.

I find it sickening. Others might see it as fun or harmless, but consumerism guts economies and degrades not only the planet but the human spirit. For all that, spineless millions are unable or unwilling to give up the endless chase and (almost all) world leaders are curiously quiet on the matter. If commercial reform is going to happen, it will have to start with the literate consumer and work its way down the food-chain. Greed is a powerful and addictive drug, next to which cocaine looks like baby powder. This habit is going to leave our species on a truly heartbreaking comedown, and the more we snort the harder we will fall.

And I'm not innocent. Nobody is innocent, and I admit that we need things. However there are currently too many things and not enough reasons for them to exist. Production quotas could be fairer to natural resources and manufacturing does not have to be concentrated in coastal China. There are a lot of things that could be done, and our deluded quality of life might have to change, but if it doesn't, it's only a matter of time before herds of North American Consumers are fighting not for deals, but for livelihoods, to say nothing of consumers, producers, and bums across the world. So in the end I have to give it to Black Friday: thanks for showing how disgraceful we really are at our cores, and hopefully we notice this and do something about it.

Douchestache

Douchestache – unrelated to Movember – just a good portmanteau. Feel free to spread it. Or hate it. I think it's good for a chuckle or two.

Terrible Mustache Month

But it's all for a good cause so everyone's happy and cheerful about it. Especially anybody with an epic mustache.

Still it's kind of odd and all. If someone were to suggest a month where a woman, say, stops shaving her legs or armpits I'm sure there would be zealous adherents and frothing opponents. In short there would be some type of stir, instead of some type of placidly accepted status quo and some good-natured chuckling. And I'm not just Politics of Identity 101 with a spastic keyboard or anything, so in lieu of a truly similar month for women (I'm thinking February because Valentine's should be for the true lovers ONLY) I have this funny idea and I write it out cautiously on the blog. Should there not be an equitable analogue? Does it even matter?

Movember is just kind of unremarkable. If you forget to grow your mustache there will be mounting tension toward the end of the month as the involved stare you down. If nobody you know engages in this sort of behavior there is a chance of escape, but those around you will otherwise consider you a cancer supporter if you shave your top lip. Maybe they'll be joking, but the thought will have existed all the same. I think a man should grow a mustache whenever he damned well wants or when there's no more razors or shaving expertise around. Yet who can contradict the almighty important cause?

Oh but wait, the best part of all of this is yet to come: growing hair is a constant, unconscious, passive thing. What better way to fund-raise, and show support for a cause, and do something profound than to let alone a natural process for a couple of weeks? When some men grow out their facial hair they are looked at funny, and if they have unfortunate trimming habits they will be judged accordingly, sometimes negatively. Some men can only grow sparse facial hair, and do not want  patchy, isolated follicles and the pseudo-juvenile appearance that goes along with that.

Finally, explicit focus on the mustache makes a dilemma for the habitually bearded. What does he do? He wears a mustache as a matter of habit but when it is not isolated from a beard it is less of a statement, because a 'stache simply makes more sense as part of a bearded face.

I don't know. I think it's an odd business for a good cause, part of the passive-man reorganization of society that has been underway for the better part of two thousand years. I have no alternatives so I am not critical of it, but I look at it strangely – as I look at the unfortunate mustache on my own face. And I am tempted to get rid of it, but then I just know that the end of November AKA 'Movember' (A statutory holiday for hipsters and activists) will turn into a hazardous farce if I dare shave at this point. Occam's Razor, even, could not solve this type of problem

Community.net/No Obituaries Yet/Don't Panic/What?

NBC is a troubled network. Let's get that out of the way. Other networks have crazy-popular TV franchises and series and the name of the game is viewership. Quirky shows don't do super well in a line-up crowded by quirk-fests such as Glee, Big Bang Theory, and How I Met Your Mother. However you look at it, or however you feel about quirky television, there are still lame-stream sitcoms being made in this era, and they are still watched. NBC has led the pack in terms of quality for a while. 2009 was a ridiculously strong season for them: 30 Rock at its peak (or just over it), Community out of the blue like a bolt of lightning, and Parks & Rec to round out the quirky slapdash humor.

But there was competition by shows that simply got more viewers. So the NBC lineup was always dwarfed by Two and a Half Men or American Idol or any type of one-dimensional trash. I've stopped watching television and I think the latest season of Community is the most inconsistent yet. I have more or less stopped watching or being excited about it, but there was at least one fantastic episode, so the show is not a write-off. There have been enough weak efforts, though, that the executive decision to shelve the program is not entirely surprising. There are simply not enough regular watchers to buoy the show, and the fans are a dedicated bunch but they're not the millions of people the show needs to survive.

The news is that NBC have moved Community off the roster of televised shows for the midseason (January). Whether this is to be competitive or what it means for the show remains to be seen. Obviously, television nerds are furious about this decision, especially since the reeking bomb that is Whitney has not been cancelled yet. And that show is probably the reeking bomb of the season, but I understand why it was made and why the network is still apparently supportive: the dumb pantywaist yuppie demographic needs its fix of lukewarm comedy, and Friends was so long ago, and so fondly remembered, that it would be foolish not to try and resurrect that kind of audience and show.

But nobody can recapture that magic. Friends had something that no contemporary similar show has captured. Perfect Couples was near to doing it but got canned just as things were heating up. Then the Paul Reiser show that NBC doesn't even acknowledge having broadcast. Things are tough at that network and there's just no coherent stance. They can't have too many Parks & Rec, 30 Rock, or Community-styled shows without appearing 'highbrow' or purveyors of 'comedy snobbery' so they have to pander to the folks who are still loyal to Two and a Half Men. Whatever. Some people watch television for background noise, or to simply stare at moving pictures, or to yawn and relax. Not everyone wants to think about a joke, remember a scene, or pay attention. That's how it is.

Well, Community may stay or it may be cancelled. Lots of good shows don't last long, and lots of bullshit keeps airing after any of its worth has expired. I believed television was more or less hopeless before Community and I'm sure another great show will come along. Eventually. Until then people can keep trying to make this into an issue. But it's not an issue, it's just a slight deviation from regular programming.