19 Screenshots that Reveal the Hollowness of Business Insider and Modern Culture in General

Dilbert IS business, basically. Laugh and care about it to advance your career!

In an era of clickbait nonsense aggregation bullshit, online content in general is in danger of becoming a lobotomized, numbers-driven, shortform mess. When I state with confidence that using the internet can make a person extremely dumb, paranoid, hateful, angry, etc... I am speaking mostly about the content aggregator sites, although mainstream media websites and the 'respected' online only publications are also wracked with issues like poor editorial standards and their habit of mixing serious stories with internet culture fluff. The end result is an uncritical and uninformed mass of people with simplistic world-views and ideas who are around you, and vote and have jobs and discuss whatever malformed ideas they have with like-minded people and shout at those who disagree with them.

I started reading Business Insider earlier this year. I don't know why, I suppose I wanted a wider selection of sites and I'd never really frequented an aggregator before. I figured it would be helpful in determining what wider news trends were... but I was wrong, because Business Insider isn't a news site. It's an aggregator with a 'business' lifestyle slant, which means it will present you with the idols of the cult of success, the accouterments of the cult of success, and Forbes-like fawning and panic about wealth with a subset of stories about actual business some of which may have been bought and paid for by the businesses prominent in that story. Looking at you Shake Shack, Soul Cycle, whatever the newest 'Chipotle-killer' is, etc...

What kept me reading was that I wanted to see how low they'd go. Some of their clickbait articles are so obvious that the site functions as a sort of case study in the decline of news caused by the massive expansion into the void of the internet. The fact that the site was successful enough to be sold for millions (more millions than I'm comfortable with) is a sign that this kind of operation appeals to someone – even if that someone is just advertising and/or PR agencies or some guy with a cargo-cult mentality who thinks reading the imaginatively titled Business Insider will get him a corner office or board seat.

That's the thing, it's not insider information, it's widely available information with a few home-brewed stories... on the one hand they put money in the hands of the people who write useless internet articles, and as much as I do pity them, they are my kind and it's better that there are still jobs where people who write get jobs (even if they go through six or more years of post-secondary education just to write for Buzzfeed or BI). To me, it doesn't matter if that person cannot spell or use words properly,and doesn't know how to use contractions, doesn't have any real passion for language or writing... they could be the biggest, least ink-stained hack of all time but if they're getting six cents a word while a video producer or hype man is out of work, I'm happy. On the other, less expansive hand, they don't produce any 'good' stuff. They provide a service that generally repeats information for a layman crowd. Longform is dead, et cetera...

It's a website that's good at being a brand, and one of those new kinds of brands launched and owned by people slightly more web-savvy than the people who run newspapers, which even as I type it seems crazy, because everyone uses the internet now. The fact remains that traditional media have not adapted super well, I guess, because there are voids where a shrewd person can set up shop and in a few years be valued at millions of dollars.

But what kind of content... that's the important question, right? What's the kind of content they got? Well, it's an eyeful, and I've been filing away some of the more mordant, absurd, and frivolous examples:

The headlines are a schizoid mix of important news and 'content', which may affect the minds of long term readers.

Interested in the insider 'hack' about hotels that you probably never knew about?

["Oh, word?" -Ed.]

User Comment Rodeo: Inexplicable News Mess

I'm going to ask you to look closely at the thumbs-up/thumbs-down ratings closely for this article. Then, if you're interested in seeing cultural relativity destroy the world, check the number of comments and comment ratings on your favourite news website, but only from more serious stories. I'd like to know how this skews, because I personally got bad, bad vibes from this particular UCR.

There's a particular show called Here Comes Honey Boo Boo that is on 'The Learning Channel' and originates from one of America's numerous sweaty armpits. Piecing together what I know of this show is it follows a family of small-town/rural, southern Americans as they go about being consumers, being a loving family, and systematically destroying their health with energy drinks. It's probably just a fever dream from a febrile and dying era, but it has the sort of mass appeal that can only come from TLC shows post-2000. To be very honest, it's probably just another disposable momentary cultural flashpoint.

Stumbling across the story itself was as bizarre as it was concerning. Why would PETA care about a snowballing television program. Why would they make a bigger deal out of one ironically named chicken than out of the millions packed into shitty chicken barns, pumped with medicine and hormones, and generally grown in as unappetizing and unethical a manner as possible? I might never know. I guess PETA watches a lot of TV, even more than about 80% of people I know, who also don't know or care about this cringeworthy Honey Boo Boo business.

I found out that a chicken named Nugget is more important than the economy, and that the public finds it PETA's attitude towards this chicken more important than even the failing economy or rumors of a vague, oppressive, and menacing oligarchy. I found out that this silly chicken named Nugget was a lightning rod for opinions. And people hate, I mean Hate, PETA. It's crazy. This rodeo is going to be tame, but holy hell was I taken aback. And the numbers of votes. Staggering. And people missing the point. The best part was the big numbers, though, all for these great internet comics who really got a chance to shine:

Community, Season Three

Community, sit-com extraordinaire, has returned to grace network TV with madcap hijinks and rapid-fire reference jokes. It's like a gorgeous hipster chick with severe personality disorders, and also she is kind of a pariah. Excuse that sentence... it doesn't seem right somehow.

But a third season was unthinkable two years ago. In fact, a third season was unthinkable a year ago. Truthfully it's still kind of unthinkable, so when I watched the premiere I watched carefully, as if holding a priceless, ornate, fragile thing with my eyes.

The season opened with a completely ridiculous musical piece which promised a very normal, happy, and good year that would be different from the other two years. This is because lots of people complained about the show being wacky. Some people don't like crazy shit on TV. Community courts this disaster of cognitive dissonance because some episodes are serious while others include scheming, simulated warfare, imagination, or madcap hijinks. I'll explain quickly - some episodes do not have zombie invasions and some episodes do not have characters confronting inner demons and other problems d'esprit.

The show's approach has meant that certain characters have changed from being near-sympathetic to unthinkable jackasses. The show has toyed with characters who are annoying catchphrase shouters. The show plays with identity because life plays with identity. If the game becomes a neon-lit nightmare where raw humor is overtaken by spectacle then it attracts some viewers and disappoints others. So, in essence, the show is probably the most challenging show out there. Even if you want to try to catch more than half of the references in an episode, for the watching to be worthwhile you need a belly laugh at least once.

For me, the show has delivered. It has had low points, certain characters been uncomfortably weak, and some situations and premises did not interest me. I watched regardless. I kept my distance from the hype/anti-hype machine of fans on the internet. In a way I treat Community as I treat Minecraft, except that Community has no risk of overdose. The once-a-week model fits it perfectly. There is suspense, there are character arcs, there are laughs and even though the first season will always be assessed as superior: it's only because it came out of the blue, because it was new at the time, and because of nostalgia.

I haven't said much about the show's third season. There's only been one episode. It reminded me a lot of the previous seasons' first episodes. Lots of promise, no way to know what's going on, and mild disappointment. But the first season took a few episodes to start rolling, and it rolled like a beautiful bastard all the way to its finale. Season two managed to function under the sophomore curse. Season three has looked back and laughed about the past, which implies self-consciousness and purview. This could mean anything.

Humor and Comedy = Tragedy

I just wanted to post this as evidence that the joke-in-itself will never go extinct.