There's a particular show called Here Comes Honey Boo Boo that is on 'The Learning Channel' and originates from one of America's numerous sweaty armpits. Piecing together what I know of this show is it follows a family of small-town/rural, southern Americans as they go about being consumers, being a loving family, and systematically destroying their health with energy drinks. It's probably just a fever dream from a febrile and dying era, but it has the sort of mass appeal that can only come from TLC shows post-2000. To be very honest, it's probably just another disposable momentary cultural flashpoint.
Stumbling across the story itself was as bizarre as it was concerning. Why would PETA care about a snowballing television program. Why would they make a bigger deal out of one ironically named chicken than out of the millions packed into shitty chicken barns, pumped with medicine and hormones, and generally grown in as unappetizing and unethical a manner as possible? I might never know. I guess PETA watches a lot of TV, even more than about 80% of people I know, who also don't know or care about this cringeworthy Honey Boo Boo business.
I found out that a chicken named Nugget is more important than the economy, and that the public finds it PETA's attitude towards this chicken more important than even the failing economy or rumors of a vague, oppressive, and menacing oligarchy. I found out that this silly chicken named Nugget was a lightning rod for opinions. And people hate, I mean Hate, PETA. It's crazy. This rodeo is going to be tame, but holy hell was I taken aback. And the numbers of votes. Staggering. And people missing the point. The best part was the big numbers, though, all for these great internet comics who really got a chance to shine:
Fuck yeah! I don't give a hoot about animals, either, because there's so many of them and they're tasty. I'm also going to make a roast out of Mr. Ed, because I want to really freak out these urban liberal wieners who blanch at the suggestion of a non-tofu Thanksgiving dinner. Kung Fu Panda and even that dragon from Mulan better watch out, too. I like a zebra steak as much as the next omnivore, but consuming the flesh of animals is the most ridiculous thing to be proud about. Some people just want to be dicks, I guess. It's important, O.K? Some people chose to really spend some time about this topic:
Well, since PETA wishes that no animal is ever butchered for its meat again in the history of the world, they don't really pose as experts on processing and slaughter. Canada had the XL foods beef crisis a little while ago, where it was conclusively proven the experts were in some way inadequate. Where was PETA, then? Watching a goddamn TV show and ignoring the world, as per usual. As I consider the issues at hand, I realize why people dislike PETA, and so does the next guy:
It's tough when ethical/political non-governmental organizations try to interfere in mass entertainment, revealing themselves as bizarre, absolutely bizarre.
Yuk it up for the 'B Team'. At least people were throwing heat in all the right directions. Television is a big fat dumb thing and PETA trying to meddle in it is insane. It's impossible to respect their angle on this decision, when there are so many Fur Activists and nobody lifting a finger for the soon-to-be dead-or-already-ruined oceans, rivers, lakes, and seas.
NO! Telescope, you goddamned idiot. We don't CARE what other channels are telling us about the Kardashians, and we shouldn't be taking our moral cues from reality television to begin with! Are you trying to... oh you're a skillful troll. Very, very skillful. I understand how it's all wrong, now. We got a classic waffler on the bottom, objecting weakly and casting their opinion into the fray, where it will be ignored.
Aha! I was wondering where the PETA defenders would be, and the highest-rated posts led me to the bottom of the list. To be fair, I can't even defend these particular posts. Each has a point and also buries that point by being waaaay too supportive of PETA and ignoring the issue of the television show, its prominence, or its prominence even in the user comment section. I wish I got a screenshot of the guy who made a joke about eating dogs, because I get it. I get the joke. It makes sense to me.
PETA wasn't wrong for caring about one single chicken. They were wrong for trying to change a television show that is not actually about that chicken. Chicken is an economical meat and nobody on earth (who eats meat) will object to chicken. That's why a lot of chickens lead legitimately shitty, inhumane existences. Lots of people don't know or care. It's fair to object to that, but it's absolutely beyond the point to care about a single chicken on an execrable TV show. Getting them to change that chicken's name from a mechanically-separated-meat-product's name to something 'positive' is insane and it will not help the plight of the chicken. It's not just insane, either. It's illogical, but I think there was a point to it.
It was a cry for attention. Provocation, and very well timed. Reader response was at record levels. The show, PETA's theatrics, and this surreal news story are very similar. That kind of cynical exploitation of humans is reckless and in itself inhumane. We might as well euthanize the people who watch more than 10 hours of reality television a week, and then eat their pets. And let's not forget about the vegetables! Shame on anyone who draws out the weakest members of society in this way.
Most of all, shame on the guy who tried to paint PETA as 'extreme environmentalists'. Extreme environmentalists don't give a damn about reality television. They care about actual issues, and they don't typically just do press releases and media visibility. PETA are soft. Extreme environmentalists are not, and many of them are more concerned with systematic problems and attitudes than irrelevant, overblown, bizarre TV shows.
I think I've covered a lot of the attitudes and misunderstandings around this issue. I am now going to purge it from my memory. I need to have a minimum of hope from day to day, or I'll be unable to even try blogging anymore. Oh, and if you're not satisfied with this post yet, check out some bonus ageism by a smug idiot:
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