Portal Two

Well here's a new game that looks like it won't be a huge disappointment and an actual bonafide step forward for computer gaming. It doesn't matter if it's all hype, and the first game made the step forward, and this is just a polished, well-presented expansion pack building on it. We know it'll be decent. Episode Two of Half Life was worth the wait, after all. Portal 2 is going to make each and every gamer shit George Romero's pants. I was going to post an exciting YouTube comment I saw on an "Aperture Investment Opportunity #4", but YouTube Assassins have seen its worth and 'disappeared' it under more-liked comments than mean less.

The YouTube comment was noteworthy and to the tune of: "Who torrents a Valve game? They publish the only games worth playing anymore." That is not exaggeration via paraphrasing. It's true you should technically, if you are not lacking money for food or rent, pay for a Valve game. That is an unspoken rule of gaming. To break that rule is to become a troll, and risk the peculiar diseases of trolls.

But let's not lose sight of reality. We want this to happen properly, but in order to avoid heartbreak we should not get excessive. I'm going to let Valve tell you why Portal 2 is going to be worthwhile:

"Leave it to Valve to add a stock cartoon duo to a game that does not need them. And leave it to IGN to hype a game based on talking robots."

All I'll say is this: the robots, quoted out of context like this, give me a major Star Wars Prequel Trilogy vibe. Furthermore, who the hell is writing MSNBC's copy? It's funny to see Valve outplay two news sources with boilerplate, and that is why they are at the top of the establishment pile.