Cyber Menace

In shitty apartments all over the world, one thing is law: you get the internet and you let your friends use it( unless you are very suspicious of them; in which case, why are you hanging out with them?). You don't even need a public terminal (say, for instance, a hilarious, very poignant, and svelte circa 1998 laptop you bought from an IT guy for a bag of weed) because almost everyone carries with them an internet capable phone now. So there's no question at all that there's some kind of cyber menace... and, check this out: it has already claimed lives!

It just makes sense that in a society so ill that it sometimes creates psychiatric disorders at almost the same rate as it creates landmark celebrities, there would be a cyber element. The internet is everywhere and still spreading. Some people can't look away from it or live without it. Being without it is missing out, but being part of it is not always what you want. Some, the wild or wise, might even call the contemporary situation one involving significant levels of Cyber Menace.

"This ain't your granddad's Neuromancer, kid."

Sure, it's easy to pish posh the point away by citing the unreal possibilities of the incipient cyber-era, which is so different from even what Nostradamus saw it was (due to relativistic drift and/or other variables) that contempory people are still trying to say what the hell is going on with no recognizable degree of accuracy. It's all... you know... dust in the wind kind of shit. Typos of the blogosphere business.

The internet business: the potential is awesome but the reality is also very convincing in another direction than what is classically termed hopeful. I don't really need to cite anything, I feel. Pretty much everybody has or has heard a fantastically gut-wrenching and uncomfortable internet story by this point. Facebook is turning some people into wrecks and offering hilarious insights into human nature to others. It's a fact of life, even: you play with the internet and you get burned. You get played. Or you get an okay laugh or chuckle while you shake your head. #SMGDH with a side of #LOL, please, and don't overdo it.

People's day-to-day living and actual worlds are all affected by the digital world. Well, not mine, but then again I'm a blogger and nobody cares, so I can actually sit down and look and see people get affected by the internet media they consume. It's a weird era, and unfortunately it's not always fun YouTube videos weird. I find it all very strange and I can feel its draw as much as the next human. Still, everybody should have to admit: a reality check is in order.

Beyond the hype, the laughter, the outrage, the trolling, the well animated distractions, and the jargon lie actual problems. Let's see what the impossible potential of the Cyber Menace can do about that, before we consider it a friendly necessity.

What's Probably Going On: I, Rambler

Well, dear reader, I've finally disconnected entirely from the world. If this is even posted it will be automatically uploaded via proxy FTP, probably forwarded by satellite. I wrote this on something called a Tandy (it reminds me of being young and has what looked like a full working copy of Doom 2 which I plan to try out), and I keep getting bothered by loud animal calls and rather large insects. Earlier this morning, while wondering if I had malaria or not, I accidentally killed a spider big enough to stand on my shoulders and still see over my head.

Yeah, I'm off the grid. I don't think I need to explain why, but I'll take a shot at it anyway because it's midday and too hot to do anything but type out a blog post. Firstly, after years of becoming more and more negative because I was surrounded by a society that was firmly up its own ass with its tongue in its cheek, I decided to make a life change. That life change was not to 'become more positive', 'find a way to fit in and make your place in the world', or 'surround yourself with healthy people' because those suggestions are made to finally kill the ailing souls of people who decide to 'stick it out' or 'fake it till you make it' in the cities, suburbs, and even rural paradises of the West.

No, not for me the puerile logic that something was wrong in my mind. I already knew I was sick, but what was going on around me was sicker and more depraved by far. I think what finally tipped me over the edge was the giant hype about something called 'twerking' (which seems like the 2013 version of Harlem Shake)... I mean it was a big deal, and reminded me how stupid the West has gotten, to the point where interesting problems and discussions (like alternative energy, the legitimacy of using force, the struggle for peace, and long-term human survival) are buried in mundane discussion about sport, celebrity, and dance fads. There is nothing essential anymore in western life, the material conquest of the world has created a society with no long-term value. There are no immediate problems anyone feels they can solve. There are no heroes, there is no innocence, and everyone is shouting inane shit at each other. With the forces of globalism rampaging, and the rest of the world hungry for 'first world lifestyles' it has suffered under, it seems as if there will be nowhere left to hide.

And I'm not one of these black/white zealots who advocate for revolution or counter-revolution. I think most people aren't that bad at all, but the pity is they give into what they're told, then they believe it, and then they're lost causes because they're stubborn. One day I was verbally assaulted because I suggested that the middle class, and its beliefs and practices, is problematic. More and more I see a world in which simply living the life provided for you is a great sin, a meaningless cog in a vast machine built to make the rich richer while generating enormous amounts of waste and suffering. More and more I see a world that deserves reproach, but reproaching it makes you rather unpopular with lots of people.

I think western governments have failed, they've proven that democracy is just a short road to oligarchy, they've proven that capitalism is just as inherently flawed as communism, they've enabled an apathetic and stupid populace, they're in the pockets of big business and so are you, reading this, and so am I, posting this (via 56k modem, satellites, and an old Tandy in a science camp) on Google... there is nothing but the bottom line... the society reflects it. There is this scary pragmatism where someone might kill you to gain a YouTube following. Step outside of the race to get a nice place, a good spouse, a home, a good car, fair prices... step out and look around: what more is there for you, really? A fit and active lifestyle? Becoming cool? Physical pleasure? A (heavily material) search for meaning? The consolation of a job well done, of the fact that you haven't directly caused anyone suffering today? Friendships with people who are like you? Happiness when your political party takes office, constant pissy passive-aggressive bitching when they lose? The dream is to consume more, consume better, and become respectable by that consumption. Those poorer than you have similar but more modest dreams, and those richer than you are generally just dreaming of bigger numbers and more ostentatious ways to demonstrate them.

Meanwhile anyone in this gracious and plentiful society who dares question the affluence is branded a communist or anarchist, idealist, and deluded. People stand up for low minimum wages and applaud, people get huffy about 'political flashpoints' that are just overblown media braying while the real issues are quietly taken care of. Who cares about the emergence of a world-wide security apparatus or the degradation of freedom? Who wants to suffer or want for anything? It all made me so sick that I couldn't think anymore, in the end. I didn't want to live in the slick World 2.0 where everything is taken for granted, where money and status are the only things worth a damn. Then I realized that the whole world was getting worse every day. Obviously it's reality, and it's never so bad or so good as anyone is saying, but I am seeing a bland and sinister future based on the world I have experienced, and I don't want it.

I decided to empty my bank account and travel to a less fucked-up part of the world where not even ViceTV (BTW WTF VICE?) journalists dare to tread, but first I had some loose ends to tie up. I told my boss' boss that he was a worthless parasite, that I encouraged fellow workers to steal from him at every turn, and that his attitudes towards women would get him killed in a future (or very prehistoric) world. I beat the shit out of my boss, because he was middle management scum, and even though he was a nice guy, he had taken too many verbal liberties with me in the past before we were friends. The look of confused betrayal on his battered face was so satisfying that I worried about myself, but it was the only thing I could do. Nothing made sense that day, but I got out safely, and where I am now is a realm of natives, scientists, and anthropologists... and glorious, empty, unsullied nature, with no bike paths, no litter, no bums, no WiFi, only survival and suffering, only immediate reality with no substitutions and no possible excuses or niceties. Blood, bug juices, and an early death. It is hell, but compared to living in 2013 Earth, it is paradise and I feel free and almost happy for the first time since I was a child.

So I've decided to go deep, get the hell out, keep my head above water (literally – not meeting rent and banking a few hundred dollars a month), and come what may, I'll accept it. Death is just as meaningless as life in this world, there are no glories awaiting us as political pawns, collaborators of exploitation, or as gilded heroes. Escapism is the only human response left, not apologia. As rebels we are mocked ruthlessly if we are nonviolent, and considered rabid juveniles if we use the tools that only the state may rightfully use. A world of monopolies. There is just diversion, diversion, diversion and the endless stream of 'news' from god-knows-where. Even now it bothers me that nobody else sees how problematic and out-of-control everything is. Here's an idea: before we colonize space with our bad ideas, trashy suppositions, and hatreds, let's work on what we're doing here on Earth. I have a few good ideas for starters that don't include ethnic cleansing, chemical weapons, corporate sponsorship, military interventionism, intense religious/national exceptionalism, capital punishment, or nuclear holocaust.

Here's a list of things I think may be happening in the world today, which was meant to be funny, before I got into all that heavy shit like an idiot, but I mean it's hot as hell and I might not be thinking straight anymore:

• David Letterman has recently died and Craig Ferguson has NOT replaced him
• Britney Spears releases a comeback album and is involved with a twerking scandal
• The War in Syria ends when all 20+ sides agree to disagree, co-operate for economic revival
• However, a new War in Somalia causes the War in Syria to re-emerge
• Something something something China, something something something us.
• Wars on Drugs, Crime, Being Cool, Having Fun, Winning all renewed for another decade.
• The NSA admits it has known everything all along, even the conspiracies, but is just breaking down privacy so that 'the good guys continue to get paid'
• My Twitter account gets its first follower and also first retweet about something really funny and visionary I posted years ago
• In a shocking upset, Racism is defeated by Sexism as Most Pressing Social Issue - white women cheer in the streets, insist it will solve other problems as well
• Geopolitical fucking around defended by old white dude who worked for the government in 1960s
• Instead of simply paying interns nothing and working them to death, large firms begin to haze them as well - backing it with studies supporting hazing as 'character building exercises'
• During the rehearsal for the September 11th memorial programme, a Truther is violently murdered
• Workers Rights abuses in sweatshops ignored by pro-consumerist media
• Scientific advances make it all seem worthwhile, somehow
• Grumpy Cat gets lynched by mob
• Society continues to get more politically partisan and fragmented: each person in a secure castle of righteousness

I tried. Once I find the abandoned asylum I am looking for I will ECT myself until I get better. Maybe I will get back to light-hearted, timely, and entertaining updates about movies, song, and anything that does not actually matter instead of... ah fuck it. I tried. I did. When they find my body and hyperlink it to Twitter, RealNet, Facebook, or this blog - use the comment section to tell them I tried. I really tried. I was just as hopeless and confused as the rest, but I managed to stop eating shit and ultimately died like a human being, not a consumer.

Thanks Internet: Wierd Groups You Fixate On

They were somehow innocent, immune to shame, and their positivity was as naive as it was indestructible. The world was laughing at them. I was a jaded person, I had wasted my innocence, and the part of my life where I would see them as acceptable was over. In other ways, perhaps, but for me there would be no great passion in a harmless, consumer-oriented fandom. If I had ever been close, it had been just before the Star Wars reboot, but that fizzled out for me. So I considered the modern scene amusing at first, and then detestable, and then settled into an indifferent apathy. It was the hands-in-pockets crowd and their best friends from the internet, how could it ever pay off?

The whole internet was like a moth to flame regarding these people: they were like furries and straight-edge kids combined, not such a 'thing' yet that people over 35 had any idea about their existence. Hot property. It was a movement for people who didn't want to grow up. They had managed to get a lot of attention from the indulgent denizens of the internet, who loved to mock and worry about them. It was a movement beyond mockery, in many ways, because it was earnest (if twisted in 50%+ of cases) and simple. It was a worst case scenario for New Sincerity, which is where the blame squarely lay. Some participants were actual children, not just mentally child-like; it was bizarre, and impossible not to get bad vibes from. It was cringe-worthy.

In the course of their mockery I was introduced and re-introduced to the movement. The base users of the internet were enthralled, I think, with the possibility of a group more pathetic than themselves. It was hilarity potentiated by an odd sense of pathos. Lots of good laughs were had at the expense of these stupidly earnest, mentally-ill, immature individuals, but also good money was being made on them. Not that I was a capitalist, and if anything it was their collective identity as consumers that made them beneath scorn. They were, in a word, jokes. Unnervingly awkward, questionable jokes.

Everyone wanted identity and belonging, though. That was the less funny part. The existence of this group was evidence of pathological issues in modern society. It was a symptom of a sick world. Even so, they were having fun, believed in something or everything, and they cared – all of which was drily amusing of course. They were not the ones engaging and propagating the sick society which was eating away human potential and leaving us with manic-depressives, borderlines, and headcases of all sorts. They were harmless eccentrics, 'nice guys', outcasts, and all truly bizarre. To me it was borderline unacceptable, but I didn't want to throw stones and laugh spitefully: that's too close to caring.

Some of them were undoubtedly sick. There was no other explanation. It was bizarre: a combination of tweens, teenagers, twenty-somethings, all the way up to the usual extreme cases: sad and lonely men in their forties and fifties. Not that they were exceptional among modern movements and identity groups, or even particularly embarrassing in that field. The internet was full enough of shit to ruin anyone's mind, victims were plentiful. Their position was defensible in that way and many others, even though it was tone-deaf and ignorant and, essentially, very creepy in a way which does not misuse the word.

They preached fun, acceptance, peace, caring. They were clad in various baggy ill-fitting garments, liked gaudy colours, and especially products which broadcast their love of the entertainment product which they consumed in togetherness. They could be any group of youth, really. I suppose I hated them most for their consumerism, because their cry for identity was not particularly remarkable, nor their lack of critical perspective. In the modern era of disposable society vs. unbending self-righteous fundamentalism there wasn't a single place to stand. It made one nihilistic, which made funny groups attractive to mockers and adherents alike. The rise of the dubstep generation. Heh.

It was all insane. It was best to just laugh and not question any of it, but not questioning it seemed wrong. Same as it ever was, too. Maybe they were historically unique for record levels of meek nebbishism, little else. They would grow, was the problem, and create and kinds of morbid counter-mentalities. Shit like that was going to ruin everything, contribute to ongoing lost generations, influence the future... which made it less funny to watch a mawkish convention mentality spastically going its way in an oblivious, unforgiving world. Less funny; deeper humor, and darker. So if you want to know if there are worse things: of course there are worse things – the rest are all warning signs.

2013: Coming Highlights via Crisis Nightmare 3000

2012 was a pretty good year. There was plenty to see, talk about, and worry about. I'm not going to waste anyone's time with how great 2012 was. I'm not going to elaborate on how great a year it was for just about everyone to to feel truly offended, scared, or wronged. I sure felt the winds of change, and I bet I'm not the only one forced to watch, for merely one small instance, Facebook turn into less and less of a place for drunk students' idiocy and more and more of a place for self-aggrandizing politics (a learned behavior) and doomed verbal slap fights (an inherent characteristic) between imaginary monsters in the dark (???).

As great a year as 2012 was for getting miffed about rumors of rumors and unfounded quackery, 2013, by all estimations, will prove to be even better, with exceptional levels of panic. I am only a small and limited individual, fearful of the Lord and His hatred of our Eternal Imperfection, but even I can see the sort of wickedness that will come from the foremost voids of collective moral and existential mania:

- The use of stem cells from aborted fetuses to create so-called 'ethical' meat products such as nerveless chickens and baby sandwiches.
- The use of stem cells from aborted fetuses to make PepsiCo products even tastier and healthier!
-The use of stem cells from aborted fetuses to power a giant abortion center/bath house/tolerance indoctrination center/abattoir.
-All national anthems will be replaced, by global plebiscite, with Psy's 'Gangnam Style'.
-The use of rogue-harvest stem cells from living babies to make homosexual, gay, queer, transexual, questioning or pansexual clones of all new babies.
-Global decriminalization of all drugs / abolition of all drug offenses except alcoholism, which will be heavily prohibited.
-Upcoming mandatory biochips for all newborns, which will be specifically geared to cause autism, homosexuality and socialist tendencies in all newborns. All younger generations, regardless of biochips, will continue to be inceasingly sissy.
-Justin Beiber's official crowning as The King of Rock and Roll; retirement ceremonies for outgoing king Elvis Presley.
-Prayer inoculations made mandatory for non-atheists.
- I.E. 10 becomes mandatory web browser; Firefox users are shot to death in droves in the streets across most of the known world.
-President Obama, as he kisses Angela Merckel on the lips during a pagan pansexual cocaine infanticide orgy (including aliens, notable elites and celebrities, and Vladimir Putin) will sign into a law a fourty-term presidency applicable only to himself or any of his socialist ideologues.
-Stem cell-powered mass transit, gun incinerators, and electric vehicle charging stations. 
-Stem cell-powered solar energy. 
-Stem cell-powered wind power. 
-Stem cell-moderated nuclear fission with options for stem cell-stabilized nuclear fusion.
-Mandatory global 'sin hour', details forthcoming, likely to include excerpts by sin experts De Sade and  C'Thulhu.
-Libertarians proven entirely right about everything and promptly imprisoned and/or muzzled en masse. Ayn Rand enshrined as underground deity. Libertarianism outlawed.
-Christmas 2013 will be retooled to celebrate an exciting blend of non-Judeo-Christian world religions and non-straight-monogamous sexual orientations. Also, more emphasis on shopping and consumer culture!
-The moon will be settled by a coalition of European and Chinese evolutionists with left-leaning socialist tendencies who will farm organically-sourced stem cells for vague and shadowy purposes.
-Mandatory world-wide one-child policy. Extra children will be rendered into fuel for mass transit, space programs, or returned to the parents as an Ethical Flavinoid Generator – all excretions can then legally be sold to the state via a closed market for an equal, fair, and regulated price.
-Hipster movement greatly compromised and weakened by increasingly worrisome internal power squabbles, advancing the arts by five months.
-Completion of the war on Christmas – total casualties: Christmas. 
-Carburators will be outlawed on pain of death forcing many to adapt or starve, paralyzing carburator-based economies. Fuel injectors will no longer be for 'sissies' and women: they will be mandatory. Automobiles built prior to 1950 will be exempt but heavily taxed.  
- Any and all muscle cars will be recycled into public park art projects, luxury vehicles will be recycled into bus stations, buses, and public benches.
-The use of stem cells from aborted fetuses to fund Al-Qaeda and Al-QaedaCo-related entities.
-Sex addiction will be recognized as a veritable (taxable) disability, as will necrophilia; perverts worldwide, it is theorized, will be coddled and enabled by corrupt and morally-apathetic governments.
-Millionaires and billionaires will be taxed upwards of 75% per annum. Proceeds will go to struggling socialists, funding OWS protests, and hippies.
-Any new jobs created by the rich will be immediately taxed into the ground, and all proceeds will be used to keep drug addicts from suffering withdrawals.
-Tobacco smokers to be punished by instant death in many countries, smoking prohibited in the rest.
-"Soylent Green is people!"
-Public stonings will not only become a hot new meme, but enshrined under sweeping free speech reforms.
-Wal-Mart given a seat in the UN, kicking out Bhutan.
-Consumer goods will be sustainably harvested from the stem cells of aborted fetuses; global rights for non-laboratory non-human lifeforms; "New Murder Laws Get Poachers into Hot Water!"
-Men will no longer be allowed on public transit and will also pay an additional 50% in auto-insurance because of their inherent emotional instability as discovered through internet social media such as forums, blogs, and Youtube.
-Adult males will also be prohibited from consuming beer, watching sports, or masturbation. Men will also be subject to random curfews, spot-checks, and will be prohibited from loitering.
-Mandatory, bi-weekly public mocking and flogging of all artists, including self-styled artists.
-Catholicism will be replaced in situ with Feminism- doctrinaire rejection of birth control will be replaced with mandatory castration and partial-castration for heterosexual males.
-Facebook will be granted all rights to its users, including power of attorney, and unlimited licensing of all uploaded content with no concessions to the end-user.
-All IP addresses to be made public, resulting in severe but mixed changes to the Internet, and a new niche for powerusers.
- Banks 'too large to fail' will be granted explicit legal and diplomatic immunity.
-Privatization of nature; mandatory, global human genome tax.
-Single women without children will be able to claim compensation from unsatisfactory sexual partners and will have birth control, contraceptives, and abortions paid for (in full) by their governments. Countries not adhering to this global mandate will have their national anthem changed to Carly Rae Jepson's 'Call Me Maybe'
-Texas will be placed under martial law until every ranch is empty, a co-operative enterprise, or farming alpaca wool and soybeans.
-All leather jackets will be replaced with pastel coloured cardigans, any vendor found to be selling black market leather goods will be flogged and mocked in public, and re-educated in a Tolerance Centre.
-Nerd movement gains critical momentum, delaying any theoretical technological singularity by more than 100 years. 
-Feed lot model expanded to feeding the poor; "Low Standards; High Expectations - The Profit of Poverty"
-All world religions outlawed, all higher beings to be replaced with notable celebrities, scientists, and political leaders. Dissension will not be tolerated: private residences will be periodically monitored for signs of worship.
-Mandatory quota of internet slang for all publications in any language to encourage youth engagement. (A modern translation of Charles Dickens' 'David Copperfield' will begin this trend, a neo-modern treatment of E.L. James' '50 Shades of Grey' will prompt the new industry standard. Homer's 'Teh 0DY$$3Y' will establish sales records.)
-Goods manufactured in the East will now be sold in the East, and Eastern citizens will use money sourced from Western taxpayers to afford said goods, creating a self-aware form of global capitalism. The West will be forced to produce its own electronics, garments, and cheap trinkets. Corporate elite will balk at decreased unemployment figures and go back to lovingly stroking their industrial robots and moneybags.
-Pharmaceutical drugs will be outlawed and replaced with what are now unfairly referred to as 'illicit and/or illegal drugs' with a decided emphasis on psychedelics.
-The West will stop paying attention to the rest of the world, and, in a stunning reversal, begin to focus on itself.
-Resultant drug addicts are confirmed for serious government coddling!
-Stem cells from aborted fetuses will replace any and all bullets manufactured since 1898. Modern bullets will be powered by the new ethical physics of hyper-abortion.
-Completion of secret project "The End of Men".
-All firearms unrelated to ethical hunting and/or safety training will be outlawed with no exceptions. Any persons refusing will be fired upon and killed by police or soldiers, who will be be armed or overarmed in accordance with New World Order directive HMO-SX-14 s.12
-Dec 21, 2013: The Brony Rebellion.

And that, as they say, is just the tip of the iceberg.