Yes it's pretty tempting if you're trying to hack out a monologue or are a pretty half-assed funny-person, but Chris Farley wasn't a Canadian and also was much cooler than Rob Ford. Moreover it is suggested by his death that Farley partied a damn sight harder than Rob Ford. People who remember their history or know something about drug abuse will agree. Crack use seems pretty bad but it's more or less just a variety of cocaine use, mixing cocaine and heroin (the notorious speedball) is next-level shit by comparison, a gift from twisted space angels that wish nothing but death on celebrities (and probably thousands of 'normal people' that you never heard of). I heard a few of these supposedly humorous comparisons and I have to say, I'm about as unimpressed as a Toronto homeowner or businessman.
Rob Ford obviously parties harder than the majority of people ever do, but it is... come on... it's a bit of a smaller league than Chris Farley. Crack cocaine has a certain wow factor that just makes the entire story that much more crazy and appealing to most people.
Anecdotally, in 2009 a Canadian conservative MP, Rahim Jaffer, was caught with powder cocaine and I swear to you now that it was not mentioned on probably all international media. [Is there an international CPAC that isn't also moonlighting as a propaganda front for the U.N.? Maybe they would carry it.] Even in Canada it was a small potatoes story that was quickly hushed away and forgotten. Most Canadians, if you asked them about Rahim Jaffer, would give you a blank stare. Meanwhile, around the world you can bring up Rob Ford for a quick talking point or laugh. The point is that crack is just a much bigger story than cocaine, despite being the same drug. Yeah, there's other factors which influence the size and longevity of this story, but...
There are better stories at this point, and the usual suspects are having a field day with Rob Ford when they could be doing more original or funnier jokes. Back in May it was a hoot, and we can't forget the absolute hilarity of everything since the crack use was proven, but the joke's probably run its course. It will fade from late night TV and remain as a sordid specter in Toronto, maybe drunk, maybe not, but still haunting the city.
I know lots of people who are tired about this. It's the sorry state of Canadian politics: the only mentions they seem to get are when wacky mayors get called out by Gawker for doing drugs, prompting a police investigation and media firestorm. It is a well known fact that Rob Ford was not well liked prior to the conviction, which makes the whole thing very satisfying for a lot of people, and now the damn thing should play quietly with less free press for Ford. It should be resolved by the city council...
Of course, now that the story is getting interesting (Rob Ford is attempting to clean up his image, and will continue to battle with opponents) the outside interest will dissipate like the smell of a fart, or the type of low-yield scandal that somehow seems to be dealt with very lightly. Then again, maybe the people who wrote the charter for Toronto mayoralty weren't expecting a seasoned crack smoker and drunkard. Very funny, because the public official in the story is a rather prominent man who uses drugs liberally, despises the downtown types, and sweats a bunch.
Meanwhile in Canada there are corruption problems, the question of who will lead the country out of an era of pseudo-stupor (currently it looks like a job nobody can accomplish, and I personally doubt Stephen Harper ever bothered himself for a minute about it), the oft-ignored First Nations issues, and best of all a highly resource-and-construction-based economy that could shatter at the whim of the markets, and which in any case is a carefully controlled game of gouging and despoiling Canada to try and fit in with the world economy clique.
Showing posts with label Rob Ford. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rob Ford. Show all posts
11/11/13
The Rob Ford Scandal Saga: Refiring the Spotlight
The mayor of notable world-class city Toronto, Ontario (home of the Toronto International Film Festival, the Leafs, the Raptors, and the Blue Jays) had admitted to using crack cocaine, which he had previously (and very prominently) been alleged to have done. The story was very hot, leading to some Canada stories on all kinds of media around the world. It was close to being a circus, and with Rob Ford... well... it actually had been kind of a circus all along, hadn't it?
A large number of Torontonians had it in for Rob Ford since the moment he took office, and many of those rejected him before that point. The thing was primed from the start to be disastrous for Ford, but, bless his heart, he did go on as acting mayor. He did what Clinton did and denied it. The police followed up, and on Halloween Bill Blair, chief of police, held a press conference to confirm the allegations first put forward in May. Rob Ford had smoked crack cocaine, and the police had video evidence of it, and that's where the thing stood. What's insane is that there is apparently no mechanism in place for dealing with a mayor who might be compromised by use of illegal substance. At this late point in the story, Ford is dealing with a potential mandatory leave of absence.
An historical day for the Ford mayoralty, and the continuation of this spring's Crack Mayor Narrative. There were a couple of reasons to consider the allegations unproven back then: firstly, a large group of people wanted a character assassination and would've jumped on the opportunity anyway; second, Gawker are a bunch of fuck shits who never came up with the goods for shadowy reasons; third, the Toronto Star has 'had it in' for Ford for a long time; finally, it was only alleged at the time. Anyone would have agreed that Rob Ford was a bit screwed up, possibly a drunk, and probably had contacts with 'the wrong people'. The police, competently enough, decided to keep an eye on the situation. Maybe they even followed through with Gawker.
It's last week's news and I know that. I waited so that the frenzy had ended by the time I said anything. I had nothing to add while it was happening. It seems to me as if Rob Ford will continue to act as embattled mayor for a few more days. He evaded the topic because it was his last move in the doomed chess game of crack use and publicity. The Drunken Stupor line is a beauty, a real font of humor, but also the only legitimate way Ford could counteract the damage of Using Illegal Drugs... because you see, when you're already Intoxicated on a Legal Drug, it's more permissible to use an Illegal Drug, because you're not thinking clearly. Mostly it's a nod to the drug war mentality. Say what you want about him: he tried.
The media attention is burdensome to Canada, frankly speaking. After the bets cleared and the dust settled, me and a bookie had a serious talk about how odd it is that big stories about Canada go completely untold by the rest of the world, while all it would take for a Canadian revival would be more dumb scandals and graceless public officials. It was the first big story about Canada since Lac Megantic, or Chris Hadfield's Bowie cover in space.. and before that the big story was Rob Ford on crack cocaine allegations. Listen: Rob Ford is obviously kind of a troubled guy, he's apparently surrounded by shady dudes and fake friends who will videotape him in a private moment, but I doubt he's taken the reigns of Toronto City while high on crack. At least he didn't use taxpayer monies for personal reasons – so is he morally superior to Pamela Wallin and Mike Duffy and the rest of the high-life crew in the Canadian Senate? Some would argue he is. Meanwhile there's talk of pipeline chicanery, a big topic for the United States and Canada, that is so quiet one can barely hear it.
How will Rob Ford be remembered? Does Toronto deserve better, and what does it mean to be Torontonian in light of a mayor who smokes crack? Has this changed how the world views Toronto? Rob Ford has gotten more global media coverage in a short few months than David Miller and Mel Lastman combined, does that put Toronto 'on the map'? Have you ever smoked crack, and if so did you feel like you were a mayor? Do you feel sorry for Rob Ford, knowing that underneath all the political grandstanding and posturing, he's a just a fat guy from a relatively privileged family? Do you hate him? Will he step down on Wednesday? Will Canada ever again become prominent in the news for good reasons? Are there too many questions and too few concrete answers?
But, uh, in actual serious world news that isn't sensationalism: the Phillipines just got hammered by a giant storm and is actually in a disastrous state, so the Rob Ford media shitshow can be allowed to end in relative obscurity. Also the McRib is back, gross. The war in Syria is still ongoing, as well, that's pretty important but since there isn't an easy solution it seems to be brushed under the rug again now the chemical weapons issue is sorted out. And in America there is hushed talk of a Tea Party/Republican schism. What a difference one week can make, but in the case of Rob Ford, it won't solve his problems..
A large number of Torontonians had it in for Rob Ford since the moment he took office, and many of those rejected him before that point. The thing was primed from the start to be disastrous for Ford, but, bless his heart, he did go on as acting mayor. He did what Clinton did and denied it. The police followed up, and on Halloween Bill Blair, chief of police, held a press conference to confirm the allegations first put forward in May. Rob Ford had smoked crack cocaine, and the police had video evidence of it, and that's where the thing stood. What's insane is that there is apparently no mechanism in place for dealing with a mayor who might be compromised by use of illegal substance. At this late point in the story, Ford is dealing with a potential mandatory leave of absence.
An historical day for the Ford mayoralty, and the continuation of this spring's Crack Mayor Narrative. There were a couple of reasons to consider the allegations unproven back then: firstly, a large group of people wanted a character assassination and would've jumped on the opportunity anyway; second, Gawker are a bunch of fuck shits who never came up with the goods for shadowy reasons; third, the Toronto Star has 'had it in' for Ford for a long time; finally, it was only alleged at the time. Anyone would have agreed that Rob Ford was a bit screwed up, possibly a drunk, and probably had contacts with 'the wrong people'. The police, competently enough, decided to keep an eye on the situation. Maybe they even followed through with Gawker.
It's last week's news and I know that. I waited so that the frenzy had ended by the time I said anything. I had nothing to add while it was happening. It seems to me as if Rob Ford will continue to act as embattled mayor for a few more days. He evaded the topic because it was his last move in the doomed chess game of crack use and publicity. The Drunken Stupor line is a beauty, a real font of humor, but also the only legitimate way Ford could counteract the damage of Using Illegal Drugs... because you see, when you're already Intoxicated on a Legal Drug, it's more permissible to use an Illegal Drug, because you're not thinking clearly. Mostly it's a nod to the drug war mentality. Say what you want about him: he tried.
The media attention is burdensome to Canada, frankly speaking. After the bets cleared and the dust settled, me and a bookie had a serious talk about how odd it is that big stories about Canada go completely untold by the rest of the world, while all it would take for a Canadian revival would be more dumb scandals and graceless public officials. It was the first big story about Canada since Lac Megantic, or Chris Hadfield's Bowie cover in space.. and before that the big story was Rob Ford on crack cocaine allegations. Listen: Rob Ford is obviously kind of a troubled guy, he's apparently surrounded by shady dudes and fake friends who will videotape him in a private moment, but I doubt he's taken the reigns of Toronto City while high on crack. At least he didn't use taxpayer monies for personal reasons – so is he morally superior to Pamela Wallin and Mike Duffy and the rest of the high-life crew in the Canadian Senate? Some would argue he is. Meanwhile there's talk of pipeline chicanery, a big topic for the United States and Canada, that is so quiet one can barely hear it.
How will Rob Ford be remembered? Does Toronto deserve better, and what does it mean to be Torontonian in light of a mayor who smokes crack? Has this changed how the world views Toronto? Rob Ford has gotten more global media coverage in a short few months than David Miller and Mel Lastman combined, does that put Toronto 'on the map'? Have you ever smoked crack, and if so did you feel like you were a mayor? Do you feel sorry for Rob Ford, knowing that underneath all the political grandstanding and posturing, he's a just a fat guy from a relatively privileged family? Do you hate him? Will he step down on Wednesday? Will Canada ever again become prominent in the news for good reasons? Are there too many questions and too few concrete answers?
But, uh, in actual serious world news that isn't sensationalism: the Phillipines just got hammered by a giant storm and is actually in a disastrous state, so the Rob Ford media shitshow can be allowed to end in relative obscurity. Also the McRib is back, gross. The war in Syria is still ongoing, as well, that's pretty important but since there isn't an easy solution it seems to be brushed under the rug again now the chemical weapons issue is sorted out. And in America there is hushed talk of a Tea Party/Republican schism. What a difference one week can make, but in the case of Rob Ford, it won't solve his problems..
5/18/13
The Character Assassination of Robert B. Ford
It was, all in all, a great week for Toronto. The possibility of a downtown casino had been quashed by the premier, another condo development had been announced (this one will replace the aging, unsightly, and low-density Fort York), and the numbers proved what citizens had known for ten years: public transit was highly popular, perhaps too popular. All the city needed was another news story or an influx of tourists, and the golden summer of 2013 could begin.
Nobody could have expected that the greatest news story of all time would descend, causing a vortex of mad news that would spread across the world. A truly world-class story would emerge from the general rubbish of Toronto news (three parts middle-class entitlement to one part crime/poverty stories) and take the world by storm – even better: it would lead to worldwide news coverage.
Noteworthy Rob Ford hater and inveterate populist newspaper The Toronto Star had been at the forefront of research into the newest Rob Ford Media Fiasco. However, when the story became too hot for the Canada/US border it was broken by a New York based internet company, Gawker. One gets the impression of a sweating editorial meeting at the Star, shirtsleeves and pantsuits, the editor in chief wearily smoking a cigarette and shaking her head - 'They scooped us, Jesus Christ, that was our story! One more fuck up like this and we're done!' Never mind, of course, that if the Toronto Star had reported on the story first it would never have become a world-class piece of news.
It was the hottest piece of Canadian hearsay since that fuddle-duddle about Laureen Harper, which many still do not know and got to be so hot it involved the RCMP. Even the Laureen Harper rumors failed to capture the world's attention – most likely since they only existed in Ottawa, where they were firmly proved, before the media was scared with warnings about tangling with the Prime Minister's Office and the RCMP. Well, move along, old story. Here's a golden one: Rob Ford smokes crack. Allegedly, because the drug dealers who have the video aren't letting it go for less than $100,000 at least, and double that for U.S. media outlets. Nobody's bought it yet, but those young entrepreneurs are proving that you don't need education or ethical high ground to make the news! Truly they are sending a good message in the Recession Era for self starters everywhere.
What do you think of that? That's absolutely world class, and the media is acting like it's shameful. In a country where senators are getting away with fraudulent misuse of taxpayer money, and the government generally looks down on the populace, the private enjoyment of privately-funded crack cocaine by a family man and Mayor of Toronto seems to be the Goliath of news. In reality it isn't even that newsworthy at all: Canada is a real country and things happen outside of Toronto. However, there is an element of schadenfreude in all this: Canada hates Toronto and the most vocal parts of Toronto hate Rob Ford. Everyone wins with a story like this.
Toronto should embrace this man, but establish firm limits on his ability to gut downtown or mass transit. Rob Ford is a brilliant statesman in the new mode: what matters is politics as a game. Promise the people what they want and then go forth, and do what you want. Words to live by. In America he would be a millionaire CEO, a Senator, or a Governor. Since it's America, he probably wouldn't have strayed far from powder cocaine. In Canada he is a Michael Bloomberg - a Canadian Billionaire and a Mayor, and possibly a Man Who Smoked Crack. This is truly world class, and Toronto owes him for his services, for the media exposure, and for the good times.
Most importantly, Rob Ford is a tenacious fighter and a winner. He has faced incredible backlash since before he was Mayor. He was the dissolute son of a rich man, they said, and just another byproduct of the broken North American Democracy. They thought he wasn't built of the right stuff, but as it turns out, Rob Ford is. Every failure of optics has been overcome, from the anger management issues, to the balance issues, to the aggressive cameraman issues. Nobody in Canadian politics is man enough to deal with Ford, and that fear is what contributes to the largely biased and negative coverage.
In a daring show of solidarity with the poor addicts of the world, Rob Ford smoked crack. He is rich enough to enjoy powder cocaine, but he wanted to let the world know that rich people can get down with rocks too, we're all generally the same - some of us are just rich enough to govern the rest. Isn't that the American Dream come to life in Center-Right Socialist Canada? Rob Ford is truly a contender in politics, unlike generally all other politicians, he isn't afraid of crime, drugs, or poor people. If his people are smart enough to spin this story the right way, he will be Prime Minister in ten years, and then the fun can really begin!
Nobody could have expected that the greatest news story of all time would descend, causing a vortex of mad news that would spread across the world. A truly world-class story would emerge from the general rubbish of Toronto news (three parts middle-class entitlement to one part crime/poverty stories) and take the world by storm – even better: it would lead to worldwide news coverage.
Noteworthy Rob Ford hater and inveterate populist newspaper The Toronto Star had been at the forefront of research into the newest Rob Ford Media Fiasco. However, when the story became too hot for the Canada/US border it was broken by a New York based internet company, Gawker. One gets the impression of a sweating editorial meeting at the Star, shirtsleeves and pantsuits, the editor in chief wearily smoking a cigarette and shaking her head - 'They scooped us, Jesus Christ, that was our story! One more fuck up like this and we're done!' Never mind, of course, that if the Toronto Star had reported on the story first it would never have become a world-class piece of news.
It was the hottest piece of Canadian hearsay since that fuddle-duddle about Laureen Harper, which many still do not know and got to be so hot it involved the RCMP. Even the Laureen Harper rumors failed to capture the world's attention – most likely since they only existed in Ottawa, where they were firmly proved, before the media was scared with warnings about tangling with the Prime Minister's Office and the RCMP. Well, move along, old story. Here's a golden one: Rob Ford smokes crack. Allegedly, because the drug dealers who have the video aren't letting it go for less than $100,000 at least, and double that for U.S. media outlets. Nobody's bought it yet, but those young entrepreneurs are proving that you don't need education or ethical high ground to make the news! Truly they are sending a good message in the Recession Era for self starters everywhere.
What do you think of that? That's absolutely world class, and the media is acting like it's shameful. In a country where senators are getting away with fraudulent misuse of taxpayer money, and the government generally looks down on the populace, the private enjoyment of privately-funded crack cocaine by a family man and Mayor of Toronto seems to be the Goliath of news. In reality it isn't even that newsworthy at all: Canada is a real country and things happen outside of Toronto. However, there is an element of schadenfreude in all this: Canada hates Toronto and the most vocal parts of Toronto hate Rob Ford. Everyone wins with a story like this.
Toronto should embrace this man, but establish firm limits on his ability to gut downtown or mass transit. Rob Ford is a brilliant statesman in the new mode: what matters is politics as a game. Promise the people what they want and then go forth, and do what you want. Words to live by. In America he would be a millionaire CEO, a Senator, or a Governor. Since it's America, he probably wouldn't have strayed far from powder cocaine. In Canada he is a Michael Bloomberg - a Canadian Billionaire and a Mayor, and possibly a Man Who Smoked Crack. This is truly world class, and Toronto owes him for his services, for the media exposure, and for the good times.
Most importantly, Rob Ford is a tenacious fighter and a winner. He has faced incredible backlash since before he was Mayor. He was the dissolute son of a rich man, they said, and just another byproduct of the broken North American Democracy. They thought he wasn't built of the right stuff, but as it turns out, Rob Ford is. Every failure of optics has been overcome, from the anger management issues, to the balance issues, to the aggressive cameraman issues. Nobody in Canadian politics is man enough to deal with Ford, and that fear is what contributes to the largely biased and negative coverage.
In a daring show of solidarity with the poor addicts of the world, Rob Ford smoked crack. He is rich enough to enjoy powder cocaine, but he wanted to let the world know that rich people can get down with rocks too, we're all generally the same - some of us are just rich enough to govern the rest. Isn't that the American Dream come to life in Center-Right Socialist Canada? Rob Ford is truly a contender in politics, unlike generally all other politicians, he isn't afraid of crime, drugs, or poor people. If his people are smart enough to spin this story the right way, he will be Prime Minister in ten years, and then the fun can really begin!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)