Oh certainly the election in the United States of America is a big deal. It's a big deal, alright? I wasn't really following it like some others, but I hear it was a close race. Congratulations to the candidates, both of them, for not going too low. For not spending too much corporate monies, you know? I'm sure things will be better from here on out.
For one thing, every newscast is going to have to find something else important to report on every day without pause during breakfast, lunch, and dinner. 24 hour news cycles are going to have to wait for the first big event. Basically, the media needs to find the next thing to drive into the ground/beat like a dead horse. Don't worry, news junkies! The media is good at finding something else.
I for one am happy that I won't have to hear about the election anymore. I was thoroughly tired of it. I was tired of people asking why, in my country, we should still care so much about the Emperor of the United States of America. Sorry. Wait... I'm leaving that terrible joke in there, as chastisement for all the hours and minutes I've had to spend listening to dummies talk about how politics are going to play out. Everyone who said, "Listen to these economic woes, this territorial instability, or that ongoing war" – bless you. Nobody listened, unfortunately, because big money was rolling around and two titanic monopolies were fighting about the 'future'. I took notice, but alas, I rarely take notice of the news.
I was tired of being asked who I thought I would win. I was tired of the sharp sensation that Romney might have an edge, even though it was all optics. Madmen would vote Romney into power. Madmen would suggest that one candidate was more Reaganific than the other (they were both equals in that regard). Oh there were so many 'experts' and talking heads, and dumb quacks, and vicious moments. I really wondered about it. So many Jon Stewart quips and bits some good, some bad, some reused by Colbert or improved by him... All for what? Yea, the elections here are less exciting. Our government's fist is empillowed and our people are indolent and selfish. It is like any other country, but our politicians have less money and less power than a Goddamn President, baby!
The president, be he a wise man or a fool, cannot by himself fix the job market. Even his policies cannot undo what was done or enacted by his predecessors. The president's foreign policies, no matter how balanced or cautious or brutal cannot end foreign grief and heartbreak and vengeance. The president, male or female, is no magician. The president, honorable or despicable, is not a coat-hook for your dreams, your identity, or your aspirations. So be thankful that someone got the job, and that you don't have to hear about campaigns for another few months (the joke is that some kind of politic is going to be news in about six hours, let alone six months or four years). Work on developing your own person. Work on developing your own community, think on what your country really means to you. Wherever you are, think on who really owns it, and who suffers for it and who pays for what – and above all, who spends the money.
For the record, I think both candidates had fair points to make. I think Romney was interested in making his points very badly, and Obama was a touch more eloquent and balanced in his point-making. I don't think either had valid platforms for fixing real issues, and I think their parties are at fault. I think this campaign, whatever else, should teach people that simple, dumbed-down, mass democracy built around polarized 'hot-topics' and sub-human 'brand politics' creates the America poor Obama has to continue running. A country, mind you, filled with partisan hatred, fear, poverty, ignorance, racism, problems... upon problems... upon problems, and then inequality, and then all the other petty possibilities that come from a populace which follows such a dreamlike, expensive, overblown and maniacal 'campaign season' to their (I stress 'their') own cost.
To which I say, excellent. You paid for it, you enjoy it. I wish I'd seen less of it, so the result would be more of a surprise. Lovely Americans, have a great second Obamian Term, and stop bitching about it so much. Romney shouldn't have sourced his logoed garbage from China, and if the results of the election anger you in any way, you should think on that point very carefully. Hopefully you realize the point.
In the meantime, everyone, search for your heart's content for the overblown, ridiculous, and spiteful American Response. We are in for social media's darkest, stupidest hour. And let us not forget, as well, that broadcast television newscasts will probably STILL take a full week to shut up about the events of the last twenty-four hours.
Showing posts with label Colbert. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Colbert. Show all posts
11/7/12
4/6/11
Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Takes in This an Interest
My unaccountably small audience, YouTube has become self-aware!
You can imagine how painful the internet is for anyone who is not YouTube or Facebook. Go ahead, imagine, and I bet it feels good. That's good pain right there. Wait! This is a disaster! In my bombastic, semi-Colbert-semi-internerd style, I warn you that this new self-inflating digital economy is actually a bubble, and may burst!
I just made that discovery, when I was as usual researching the decline of my era on the internet, on YouTube itself. I realized that my sources could be improved a little, but more importantly I learned that:
No wise body on earth can watch the next two complete videos in sequence. I have prepared them as a perfect deathtrap. To even attempt to complete the watching of either (let alone both) will probably result in an exploded head, internet's Homestar Runner-style. I watched a bit of either, and I'm not going to review the experience here – YouTube's comment sections, here I come!– but this is basically the sort of challenge that is a long, subtle joke about the world right now. What makes it a challenge is not finishing it, even, but comprehending the exact style of your death this entails.
The first sequence in this challenge will serve, at most institutions, as an introduction to internet politics.
Now, the second is an advanced choice, doubles as internet politics 1102, and is a reckless move on my part; I feel a certain duty to the internet so am forced to post it in sequence, with a long introduction link sentence.
In an alternative YouTube Video Sequence, you may laugh harder – but you will learn less, and your mind will be less damaged. Feel free to comment about your general sense of dread, bigoted sense of superiority, or experience with the challenge! As a scientist, I may be able to make some use of your otherwise pointless generosity.
You can imagine how painful the internet is for anyone who is not YouTube or Facebook. Go ahead, imagine, and I bet it feels good. That's good pain right there. Wait! This is a disaster! In my bombastic, semi-Colbert-semi-internerd style, I warn you that this new self-inflating digital economy is actually a bubble, and may burst!
I just made that discovery, when I was as usual researching the decline of my era on the internet, on YouTube itself. I realized that my sources could be improved a little, but more importantly I learned that:
No wise body on earth can watch the next two complete videos in sequence. I have prepared them as a perfect deathtrap. To even attempt to complete the watching of either (let alone both) will probably result in an exploded head, internet's Homestar Runner-style. I watched a bit of either, and I'm not going to review the experience here – YouTube's comment sections, here I come!– but this is basically the sort of challenge that is a long, subtle joke about the world right now. What makes it a challenge is not finishing it, even, but comprehending the exact style of your death this entails.
The first sequence in this challenge will serve, at most institutions, as an introduction to internet politics.
Now, the second is an advanced choice, doubles as internet politics 1102, and is a reckless move on my part; I feel a certain duty to the internet so am forced to post it in sequence, with a long introduction link sentence.
In an alternative YouTube Video Sequence, you may laugh harder – but you will learn less, and your mind will be less damaged. Feel free to comment about your general sense of dread, bigoted sense of superiority, or experience with the challenge! As a scientist, I may be able to make some use of your otherwise pointless generosity.
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