User Comment Rodeo: Lazier and Funnier than Ever!

Hey readers, you're probably quite excited that the UCR hasn't been lost or destroyed in a fire yet, right? Oh, you aren't... well it's back. 2014 has probably been a great year for stupid user comments, but we're going to find out. Okay, well, here's a bunch of great user commentary, bitching, and the occasional gem - dug up in the most unhealthy way possible.

 

Highly potent stuff. Hahahahaha. I can definitely see why the UCR 3000 or whatever picked this up. Great shit. Hahha. Not a waste of twenty thousand dollars.

Ahahaha holy shit somebody got owned [for teh internet savvy browsers: 'pwned'] pretty hard in the comment section that day... goddamn that's some serious incest.

Damn look at this guy who can see through the facade of lowered violent crime rates and other liberal mumbo-jumbo hexapentatonic voodoo to the truth: ancient biblical cities that were destroyed for lawlessness and immorality are essentially the same as the modern United States. Obozo, good shit dude... betcha didn't come up with something that good yourself.

Hell yeah that's got me spinning in the chair, spitting out my tea/coffee/beer, and laughing all the way to the bank!

In twelve years the above user commentary will be cited in a study conclusively proving that video games promote mental illness on a level at least equivalent to marginalization, drug use, or genetics. I don't know what the hell is going on, but people live like that... imagine their internal monologues and all the stupid shit they get excited about... mental illnesses and neurological problems... seriously hilarious shit.

 

Climate science is the lowest target besides almost everything else an unthinking buffoon commentates on. Let's see what might or might not happen (much like we as a species do with earth and climate science).

You see? Hippie shit.

Oh, and highly reasonable responses that lead one to question why the commentator is wasting potential arguing with people in the user comment section. Why not go to school? Or use your time responsibly... maybe these saints have bigger plans than any of us know, and don't mind getting mired in incredibly stupid and wasteful arguments with hardened skeptics. Maybe they don't even get hopeless or angry or wracked by belly laughs when they engage the user comment sections of the internet... and there's a lot of those.

What the hell UCR 3000? The first is kinda funny, sure, but I am missing the point on number two, unless it's just a savvy internet machine laughing at a quite obviously old and square commentator.

Internet smart aleck, tough guy, and all around archiver of data letting us know what to do and how to have the most fun possible while doing it.

This is some supreme Canadian Content and I defy you to miss the point or not consider it funny. Is the story made up? Who knows what the Cuban told the Clueless Canadian Gringo? That's half the fun. Anyways: the liberal gets demolished for astrological reasons which is pretty funny.

Hey, well... okay whatever. I suppose this counts and it is pretty funny that people pay money for programs to tell them how good their computers are. If there was ever an argument against PC gaming that could not be defended against by any neurotypical, that would be it for sure. I kinda want to make that 'useless program on Steam' money, myself, but uh.... 

Cool I think there's one more and it's actually a really, super, excellently, very good one, so if you weren't pleased with this year's haul so far, check this out: