That's a Year

I sincerely doubt I'll be posting anything until 2011, so here is a list of predictions about 2011:

1. US political drama will continue to exceed all forecasted expectations.


2. Terrible storms will wreak more havoc on very specific shorelines.


3. North Korea will secretly retract into China without anyone's permission. China will withhold dumplings.


4. At least one person will be on a toilet at 23:59 on December 31st, 2010. 

4.1 - Anyone who passes out before 00:01 on January 2011 will be left in 2010 forever.*
(*Babies, small children, and narcoleptics are exempt)


5. All television shows will be in 3D in 2011. Anyone without a pair of special $200 glasses will be unable to watch anything.


6. Lists will be forbidden in 2011 by decree of Vladimir Putin, which is why I'm making my fist list article.


7. By mid-2011, even Mongolian sheep-herders will get sick of Auto-Tune.


8. Salmon will go extinct, most birds will grow a third wing, and all bears will crossbreed with sharks. This is all due to Global Warming and might lead to the extinction of humankind.


9. Someone's grandmother will discover Twitter.

10. All television programs which have titles beginning with "C" will be canceled.

That's all the nonsense I could think up on short notice, I'll be free of the internet for the next two weeks impersonating socially healthy people and getting drunk. If I get stuck in 2010 you will know by next September, because I'll be reposting old material. Goodbye, dear audience consisting almost entirely of web-crawling search-index bots, and a happy New Year to you.