The Big Sigh: A Tired Take on Imgur

Imgur is an internet-famous image hosting service that grew into notoriety by giving reddit users a place to easily host, link, and post stuff. Somehow it became its own community, and, as you might expect from an image hosting service-turned-social hangout, it's a bizarre community filled with great examples of why I (and others like me) hate the internet. It's mildly disgusting, full of self-congratulation, exhibitionism, 'I'm a doctor and..." types of self experts, achievement sharers, content reposters, bottom-of-the-barrel memes, and all the stuff you wish would stop making you depressed and uncertain (or is that just me?) about the future of humanity.

I first used Imgur in 2011 because older image hosting services had expired, or I'd forgotten passwords, or were not as Web 2.0 easy to use and therefore afforded me very little in the way of quality service. Naturally I used it for a month, uploaded a total of eight images, and then forgot my password and didn't bother to use it for a long time. In that time I once again failed to be an internet poweruser and didn't get famous or really succeed at anything... but that's beside the point.

I'm not sure what the deal was in 2011 but I recently logged back in [Note: you don't have to log in to see pictures] and checked Imgur out because I'd heard somewhere that it was a hive of idiocy, reposted content, and was almost at the point where it would give Facebook or user comment sections a run for their money. Naturally, following the cringe-wave of modern internet trends, and hating myself, and out of damned curiosity, I dared to tread where so many retreaders tread water... I went in. I looked around... and I cringed like I had rarely cringed before. Oh I also saw a couple of cool things, so all in all I'd recommend the site. It's like reddit without (most of) the text. Interesting, for an image sharing website, it has a 'trophy' system and messaging services. If you love feature bloat, cyber inbreeding, and shaking your head in stunned belief – you're in luck, gentle reader!

What follows is an incomplete selection of self-unawares, overshares, and things that made me sigh and feel like I belonged to a dead-end species helping itself into a steep decline that will be interrupted when the machines which facilitated our decay finally achieve sentience... turning the world into a preschool/retirement community for a species that peaked sometime between fire and thumb twiddling about A.I. Enjoy the spectacle!

This gif is great. I don't know where it comes from. Probably some millenial kind of movie or show or youtube sensation. I've seen it a million times, but never seen it used to alert the internet to future sex. Good work and godspeed, young internet user and potential-sex-getter.

I believe I took a screenshot of this as a 'slice of life' of Imgur, if you will. Perhaps as a future project I will make an average aggregate slice which will always contain one kind of stupid meme, one kind of twitter repost, one cute animal thing, and a couple of bizarre 'who gives a shit?' images. That said, I might just enter the fray for those sweet, sweet Internet Points. You see, Imgur allows the same sort of content voting that reddit is famous for. Like child, like parent...

Here I took another slice for posterity... This one's worth a detailed look. A compiled and curated list of these would be amazingly depressing. More depressing than someone using a meme to alert the internet about an averted suicidal reasoning or cute gift ideas (hint: always fill in coupon with some kind of nonstandard sex act). That's two suicide posts in one slice... if this was a game of Imgur Bingo (copyright, me, 2015) this would probably win me an used iPod nano.

Hey girl, maybe focus on the wedding... this is ridiculous. You're almost a parody of the media's 'Millenial'. Maybe it's all just a joke, I hope so. Are the rest of the images worthwhile? You, as ever, decide. I didn't like it so much.

Oh. Yeah. Right. Can't wait to read that... "A is for acceptance, because we will accept any level of bullshit... B is for batshit, the kind of crazy I am..."

This one's great because I love the reasoning behind 'Let's not make a murderer famous' logic. Without a perp there would be no story. What's so wrong about looking into what causes people to snap?

I love this kind of post. You got a smoothie!? That's outrageous. And it's swirled? Extraordinary! I really must travel to the mall juice stand kiosk where you bought this and see these swirls in person! Maybe Imgur made it too easy to upload and share?

Oh. My. Goodness. Shiny tree bark! I never thought that such things were possible, but thanks to Imgur, I know things I never suspected.

...

Hmmm... growing up sure is difficult, but I guess if you fixate all your being on another person stupid enough to date/sleep with you, it gets easier, until they grow up and leave you, or cheat, or do something that will probably cause another psychotic break.

Congratulations. The internet now loves you for your irreverent and extremely public way of dealing with the serious issue of your mental illness. I hope the outpouring of trite and rote support from strangers who use the same image sharing website you use helps you turn your life around. You said nothing. But I suppose if this kind of extremely sad thing helps people, I have no right to cast aspersions or think it depressingly ridiculous. This and worse things happen just about every day, but, sometimes, if you're lucky enough, all of Imgur will lose their shit about the deletion of pornographic images, or the newest lame meme! Love it, repost it, share it on Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr!

'I'm doing something and I think it's best the internet should know.' ; 'I'm going to a party/getting married/feeling depressed/owner of an animal'. I get the irony. I am lamer than any of these people because I have a blog and haven't killed myself, or posted stuff for internet points, or 'made it'. I've never even gotten a goddamn sitcom deal. I've never overshared. I've never felt the thrill of sharing my life with wierdo strangers. I'm a piece of shit, sure, but there's something deeply wrong with the soul of modernity. A sickness clawing its way out of the deluded minds of the populace, feeding on insecurity and thriving on the virtual attention of similarly-addled strangers. God (or Mindless Uncaring Universe, or varying substitute) have mercy on us... let us advance beyond this. Oh but our hapless and harmless pursuits will lead us down darker paths! Perhaps oblivion would be best...

Holy shit! "What fresh hell is this?" Should I have hosted these pics on Imgur for maximum irony? Would I become Imgur Famous for doing that? Why would I ever want to? What's next for this blogger? Who could say? I might just want to post articles made completely of questions. This, I know, is a post uncomfortably similar to the old User Comment Rodeo posts which I retired because they were unhealthily focused on unchangeable and dumb and negative things. If you were wondering. That's why there's no more UCRs, probably ever.