If I were more of a bettor and actually had money to risk, the current political atmosphere of Canada would be the most entertaining and fruitful place for small bets on unexpected outcomes. For about a year now things have been less depressing than usual and... well that's not strictly true but there's an awful lot of shit going on. From the Rob Ford crack scandal and his chances of winning the mayoralty again, to the number of days until 'Justin Trudeau' robocalls go out to Canada's Children with probably the best deals on weed outside of B.C.
Then there's the odds of Canada getting politically motivated enough to do something more courageous and insightful than perpetuating a natural-resources based economy which has been the de-facto source of jobs and state monies since the fur trade, since even the fishing of cod by vikings in ~700 A.D. Of course, after more than a thousand years of viking-related overfishing, those cod stocks look worse than Thomas Mulcair's chances of becoming Prime Minister. In springtime, when winter psychosis has set in firmly with most of the population, Canada gets a bit squirrely and a bit speculative, small parts of it go on to smash all comers at Olympic Hockey, and still more Canadians in the Winter Olympics put on great, and often heartwarming, showings.
Economically, the Branch Plant Bet (also referred to in some circles as NAFTA) has managed to keep Canada in the black without solving the problem of the Rust Belt, or the overreliance on natural resources, or the productivity and skills gap. Unemployment is such a problem that many larger corporations have had to bring in foreign workers in order to have anyone to heartlessly terminate. The Canadian banking sector is 'the envy of the world' (their words – not mine), and experts estimate a Citigroup-level superbank to form in Canada in the next twenty years, which ought to make quite the splash in international banking. Why are Canadian banks international superstars? Easily, by being diligent businesses and selling only the finest and least dangerous financial services to their customers. That and sitting on large piles of money... I mean seriously, how was anyone surprised that Canadian banks did OK in the recession? They get money from the public for free, with less grumbling than the tax man faces, and they charge service fees sometimes. It's basically a foolproof industry anywhere it's not run by pure-strain greed (and even then the profits flow, as they must).
Personally, the most edifying thing about Canadian politics is not that it has degenerated, in the last 10 years, to American-style personal attack ads and a two-party zero-solution system. No. For me the most edifying change is that the Conservatives are finally starting to sweat a little, issuing a Fair Elections Act that promises more belly laughs and spine-chilling possibilities than even the Omnibus Crime Bill. Still, they're beginning to sweat after nearly 10 years of unopposed hegemony, and with good reason. They're sweating so hard they've gone on the offensive against their greatest threat since the Robocalls Scandal (which will be 'fixed' by the Fair Elections Act). That threat just happens to be the mild-mannered son of major political figure Pierre Elliot Trudeau.
If you have the good fortune to own a radio and live in Canada, you'll have heard the beautiful sounds of a voice actress playing a mother worrying about the poor judgment Justin Trudeau demonstrates by supporting the legalization of marijuana. I can't find the ad anywhere outside of the radio, mostly because I imagine its creators want to bury it where the rest of the world can't get to hear it. Youtube searching will get you a few classic anti-J.T. yuks, but nothing as finely crafted and specious as the marijuana ad – which I will take the time to explain. Canada is renowned for many things: but the fine, affordable, and barely illegal weed known as marijuana is a major part of their international prestige.
Ten years ago in Canada it was considered highly probable that marijuana would be legalized or at least decriminalized. It was seen as a common-sense amendment to existing laws that would spare police and citizens quite a bit of fuddle and duddle, but the U.S.A. started to make frightening and disapproving noises, which sent the cowardly Canadian politicians scurrying away from any sort of progressive lawmaking aside from gay marriage. If there were BORDER PROBLEMS WITH THE BIGGEST TRADING PARTNER everything could've been ruined, and so a realistic drug policy was prevented by the country whose own states would enact similar laws ten years later. Between that and Justin Beiber, it's no wonder a huge portion of Canadians feel defeated, alienated from their country, and ashamed of what's happened since those halcyon days they spent spitting on the Liberals for ruining Ontario. Most likely, as solid lifestyle consumerists, Canadians don't even care... but I like to think there are glimmers of hope.
Then the final nail in the coffin: in 2006, the Liberal Party of Canada lost power in a sweeping advance by Stephen Harper and the Conservatives, riding a wave of fear, self-righteousness, and apathy. Legal cannabis would never again see the light of day from its position in the political dungeon under Parliament Hill. If you bothered to ask anyone now, from an RCMP officer smoking a joint in a Tim Horton's to a stoned guy on Queen Street West, they would tell you that legal weed is essentially a dream and the continued politicization of the matter only further damages its chances. The mere fact that legalization seems to hinge on Justin Trudeau's election is itself kind of insulting. National elections should be about more substantial things than marijuana, but Conservative Party will have its way. Votes should be cast on more substantial matters than a legalization that should've been enacted a decade's worth of legal annoyance, unnecessary police enforcement, and criminal proceeds earlier.
However, the Conservative Party of Canada sees Justin Trudeau's opinion as evidence that he wants children to have the same kind of access to marijuana as they do cigarettes and alcohol. Plus the idea that recreational drug use is O.K. is not an idea we want kids to think about before they're old enough to drink themselves into an early grave. And furthermore: Fuck Justin Trudeau, here's the sound of a school bell ringing to emphasize the point that legal marijuana = kids buying marijuana in school, from Justin Trudeau and his fucked up Liberals, no less. Meanwhile, the world is falling apart and those same children face a grim economic future full of debt, useless university degrees, bankrupt ideologies, drunkenness, and the vicious depredations of the anti-youth media in a country where a 'young' person can be as old as 40 and where any decent entry-level job requires 3-5 years of nigh-unattainable experience.
The commercial strains this writer's powers of credibility. I find it hard to believe that with the laws as they are now, where marijuana is not sold in stores to adults presenting ID, that children have equal access to alcohol, cigarettes, and marijuana. As a distraction from other issues (like the energy sector's co-option of the CPC, or rising poverty levels, or stubborn underemployment numbers) it's a brilliant move - and since it's so logically bankrupt in every sense, the argument must be nothing other than a distraction, and perhaps a nod to ignorant moralists. It is this tiresome gaming of the public that makes the new breed of Canadian politics in Harper's Canada so distasteful. No elected leader ever truly thinks they speak for the entire population of a country, right? Prime Minister Stephen 'Steve' Harper is a verifiably smart man, and his handlers and cronies are not idiots either, so it must be the population they view as contemptible, irrational idiots... with voter turnout as it is you can hardly blame them, I suppose.
I drifted away from the general overview to educate people about the least meaningful bit of overblown political drama in Canada today. If the public were to have any means of convincing the government to legalize immediately or face repercussions, and if the police supported the public, the whole matter could be solved quickly, peaceably, and without questioning any politician's integrity or judgment. It could be solved without an election, even, and would negate Justin Trudeau's current edge, giving him one less issue to claim 'common sense' on. Don't hold your breath.
Meanwhile, Rob Ford continues to roll on, indulging late-term scandal popularity by appearing on Jimmy Kimmel Live, where he was insistent that he did not need help (kind of a parallel to other political stubbornness in Canada) and was generally mocked. I'm pretty tired of Rob Ford and am only writing about this to fulfill my Canadian Content Quota... personally I don't think Toronto is worse with him at the helm and I don't give a fuck about the media infatuation with him. He's great for a funny .gif, snappy joke, or hilarious soundbyte, but he thrives on attention... if anyone really wanted Rob Ford to get better, they'd stop paying attention to him. In May the Crack Mayoralty was the height of comedy, but it's degraded to farce and will begin to reek soon, like garbage rotting on a city street in the summer sun.
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