Showing posts with label sloppy blogger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sloppy blogger. Show all posts
7/20/16
Millennials For Bernie and Other News From The Modern Gutter
Wow 2016 has certainly been a year, between celebrity deaths, political chicanery, imminent race war with shooting-a-day news, terrorists wilding out everywhere, a surprise coup in Turkey, and the grand return of Pokemon combined with augmented reality, the Age of Indifference seems poised at the cusp of its Golden Age. It's almost possible to forget the insanity of the first four months of the year based on the last three months of the year. It's almost possible, even tempting, to think that we are at an all time high of crazy happenings
But things have been shitty for a very long time, haven't they? And it's probably our fault. In fact it is certainly our fault. We've done this. Some of us try to do better, some of us try to fuck things up, and the majority don't care. I like to think I fall outside of all these groups. I don't care; but I do. I want to do better; but I don't. I never really considered the option of making things worse... it seems there are plenty people on each side of every confrontation who can do that better than I could ever hope to.
So I was trying to come up with a good overview of the past ten months or so but there are so many squawking heads yakking about it that it doesn't matter. Plus, I'm a piece of shit idiot with nothing new to add or a redeeming perspective. Suffice it to say I get it: everything looks pretty grim. Things looked bad in 2003, and they look roughly as bad now, except there is more bad stuff? (I'll look into this after I kill myself, because fuck making that graph.) But there's also good stuff: like consumerism! So I'm going to recommend some pretty good stuff that'll help you get through July without killing yourself or fantasizing about killing every last human in an insane laser drug apocalypse in a doomed attempt to fix Earth and right all the wrongs.
4 Media Products Recommended by the Sloppy Blogger in Lieu of Depressing Screed About Modern World
5/31/16
Addendum to 2013 Death Grips Article
In the article to which I allude in the title I made certain comparisons to Rage Against the Machine - the high energy, non-mainstream yet mainstream, politically and emotionally charged with the caveat that Death Grips does not give a damn about anything approaching meaning or protest. Their protest is of sanity, an interesting type of protest in a world that's arguably getting more insane by the year, where it would no longer matter if, say, most of its inhabitants were exterminated (by their own complicity, appetite for violence, and indifference) in some kind of terrifying schizophrenic drug apocalypse. In a sense the apocalyptic vision is much more compelling to the apathetic drop-outs of the post 90s than 'fighting the man' since that fight doesn't seem fair or winnable, especially when its old champions were themselves arguably under the thumb of the same corporate America they claimed to despise.
But I digress. In the post I didn't write so much about my personal approach to Death Grip's music, which I felt had to be remedied in an addendum. I do so not only because the other post got a decent amount of hits (which is rare for me), but that I didn't examine the music so well, and I have always had contrasting opinions on it. It was incredibly interesting in 2012, and kind of dicked around with half-baked albums and moments of glory since then.
On the one hand there is something laughable in the balls-to-walls insanity of any Death Grips album. MC Ride screams unintelligible lyrics with the odd half-yelled statement (some of which hints at greatness, most of which was too cringey for non-headphone listening) while on the other hand the track parallels his delivery with high energy percussion, warped samples and effects, and breakneck pace and, at its best, compelling inventiveness. On Exmilitary (in my opinion their most interesting album) the energy was pushed as far as it could be and the very good use of a sample ('Rumble', a song with an interesting history which was clearly being channeled for a purpose) really caught my attention. I loved the production because it was insane and very intriguing with samples and effects and at their best the lyrics matched that.
So I got the instrumental version of Exmilitary (then titled: Black Google) and finally I got to listen to the production and was very enamored of it. 'Spread Eagle Cross the Block' was the song that first really caught my attention but, for me, the lyrics only rarely improved it - stripping out the insane vocals made it easier to admire the production. Since that time I've loosely followed the band and they've had a couple of good moments where lyrics and production were briefly perfectly in sync, but by and large I've been disappointed. The instrumental album Fashion Week brought me in to take a closer listen but failed to hold any attention. It was interesting and at times pretty good but lengthy and kind of derivative and exhausting to listen to, especially as it seemed to confirm my view of the band as one that worked simply because it was a mainstream breakthrough for more aggressive sounds in a time just before bigger acts broke the seal.
It's hard for me to keep caring about most groups and artists if they release the same album a dozen times and disband (Linkin Park with their eternal cycle of remixes, late Wu Tang where its importance was only because it was Wu Tang and we were empathetic to their plight of never releasing a relevant album again, RATM which I loved when I was young and now find kind of funny [though the ROCK is still primo], and so forth). I will keep listening if I like the original idea enough that it doesn't bore me later on (Drum and Bass when I was younger, chamber pop like Prefab Sprout now) or that is flawlessly executed or completed by its flaws. Most of the time I am not overwhelmed, which is why I've always been on the skeptical side regarding Death Grips. Being transgressive, outrageous, and loud has value but kinda pales if used to ring the same note time and time again. Eh.
Then I chanced upon Interview 2016, which is all instrumental, way more focused than Fashion Week, and actually piqued my interest again. On first listen it was lively, a bit chaotic, but controlled enough to remain coherent enough to demand a second listen (and be pleasurable to the ear). And so, I suppose, my final judgment is that it's alright, what do I know? Basically nothing. I'm a sloppy blogger and Death Grips has at least ten thousand fans and probably they make a good amount of money and get to play big shows and fuck around with the media by releasing free albums and making incredibly dense aggressive music as a counterpoint to mainstream, sort-of-depressing, flaccid shit like new Kanye and even new Chance where twelve years of gospel stylings and samplings are recycled into deep nonsense that is praised for reasons I will never comprehend. I can't go on in this wasteland without making people angry at me, and that querulousness is why it doesn't matter how I feel, but I'll be damned if I won't write something after all this silence.
But I digress. In the post I didn't write so much about my personal approach to Death Grip's music, which I felt had to be remedied in an addendum. I do so not only because the other post got a decent amount of hits (which is rare for me), but that I didn't examine the music so well, and I have always had contrasting opinions on it. It was incredibly interesting in 2012, and kind of dicked around with half-baked albums and moments of glory since then.
On the one hand there is something laughable in the balls-to-walls insanity of any Death Grips album. MC Ride screams unintelligible lyrics with the odd half-yelled statement (some of which hints at greatness, most of which was too cringey for non-headphone listening) while on the other hand the track parallels his delivery with high energy percussion, warped samples and effects, and breakneck pace and, at its best, compelling inventiveness. On Exmilitary (in my opinion their most interesting album) the energy was pushed as far as it could be and the very good use of a sample ('Rumble', a song with an interesting history which was clearly being channeled for a purpose) really caught my attention. I loved the production because it was insane and very intriguing with samples and effects and at their best the lyrics matched that.
So I got the instrumental version of Exmilitary (then titled: Black Google) and finally I got to listen to the production and was very enamored of it. 'Spread Eagle Cross the Block' was the song that first really caught my attention but, for me, the lyrics only rarely improved it - stripping out the insane vocals made it easier to admire the production. Since that time I've loosely followed the band and they've had a couple of good moments where lyrics and production were briefly perfectly in sync, but by and large I've been disappointed. The instrumental album Fashion Week brought me in to take a closer listen but failed to hold any attention. It was interesting and at times pretty good but lengthy and kind of derivative and exhausting to listen to, especially as it seemed to confirm my view of the band as one that worked simply because it was a mainstream breakthrough for more aggressive sounds in a time just before bigger acts broke the seal.
It's hard for me to keep caring about most groups and artists if they release the same album a dozen times and disband (Linkin Park with their eternal cycle of remixes, late Wu Tang where its importance was only because it was Wu Tang and we were empathetic to their plight of never releasing a relevant album again, RATM which I loved when I was young and now find kind of funny [though the ROCK is still primo], and so forth). I will keep listening if I like the original idea enough that it doesn't bore me later on (Drum and Bass when I was younger, chamber pop like Prefab Sprout now) or that is flawlessly executed or completed by its flaws. Most of the time I am not overwhelmed, which is why I've always been on the skeptical side regarding Death Grips. Being transgressive, outrageous, and loud has value but kinda pales if used to ring the same note time and time again. Eh.
Then I chanced upon Interview 2016, which is all instrumental, way more focused than Fashion Week, and actually piqued my interest again. On first listen it was lively, a bit chaotic, but controlled enough to remain coherent enough to demand a second listen (and be pleasurable to the ear). And so, I suppose, my final judgment is that it's alright, what do I know? Basically nothing. I'm a sloppy blogger and Death Grips has at least ten thousand fans and probably they make a good amount of money and get to play big shows and fuck around with the media by releasing free albums and making incredibly dense aggressive music as a counterpoint to mainstream, sort-of-depressing, flaccid shit like new Kanye and even new Chance where twelve years of gospel stylings and samplings are recycled into deep nonsense that is praised for reasons I will never comprehend. I can't go on in this wasteland without making people angry at me, and that querulousness is why it doesn't matter how I feel, but I'll be damned if I won't write something after all this silence.
12/4/15
The View from the Other Side: Political Reversals in Canadian Politics Since Oct. 19, 2015
The groups who enjoy criticizing the new Liberals for their supposed 'style over substance' approach (proven by Prime Minister Justin Trudeau's youth, hair, and handsomeness) to political posturing might be foaming at the mouth with suppressed rage at the appointment of a defense minister who happens to have both substance and a generous dollop of swag. Harjit Sajjan is a military and police veteran and the media (both social and traditional) are already swooning over him.
It's an interesting case study: if the Harper government were to appoint a Sikh to a prominent cabinet location it would be seen, by some observers, as a rather baldfaced ploy to appeal to immigrants. But then, any rational person always saw some kind of Machiavellian undertone to anything done by the Harper Administration. It's the people widely considered paranoid (AKA not employed as a political analysts) who are seen as paranoiac when they attribute Machiavellianist tendencies to all parties. Either way, Minister Sajjan seems an excellent choice and the media is head over ass in love with the dude, and it makes Canada seem much more cool and culturally open than the United States of America, where the most prominent 'brown politicians' have 'white names' (Bobby Jindal et. al.) – but that's a cultural thing...
Meanwhile, Justin Trudeau is turning heads all over the place, as his looks and relative youth (which invited the criticism and mockery of the Conservative Party of Canada) draw the admiration of many, and the media did not hesitate to point out his effects on women. I don't know... all senior bureaucrats and political figures are more the inventions of their parties, in the contemporary system, than self-reliant actors. The wave of positivity is going to break at some point, and it will probably just lead to more of the same for Canada (either political apathy or another Conservative government, depending on the number and severity of scandals).
Also please note: the Niqab debate, a completely different issue from Sikhs in Government, managed to fail spectacularly and further sunk its inventors, but that is all ancient history according to the Gods of The News Cycles, who have decreed that ISIS, after being on the backburner until they attacked a European city, are Big News again. Islamophobia, which was also a backburner topic for a number of years, is now a household name to be invoked in hopeless arguments between idealistic youth and their racist parents. In Canada, Hindu temples were attacked, one mosque was firebombed, and a small segment of the population basically confirmed the idea of Racist Canada being alive and well in 2015.
The Paris Attacks of November 2015 are already the biggest news story of the month, whether deservedly or not, and are going to tinge all political discourse in the West and beyond for a year or more, and are having interesting effects. The United States is toying with the idea of isolationism as well as a final solution to its Muslim population (via special ID and blatant surveillance and oppression). Canada, meanwhile, announced via its global mouthpiece, Justin Trudeau, that it would allow refugees – a feel-good story in a week marred with tragedy and soapbox speeches about the world. Besides the 'rock star image' [via Lamesteam Media] , what else has this change in governance changed, in governance?
It's an interesting case study: if the Harper government were to appoint a Sikh to a prominent cabinet location it would be seen, by some observers, as a rather baldfaced ploy to appeal to immigrants. But then, any rational person always saw some kind of Machiavellian undertone to anything done by the Harper Administration. It's the people widely considered paranoid (AKA not employed as a political analysts) who are seen as paranoiac when they attribute Machiavellianist tendencies to all parties. Either way, Minister Sajjan seems an excellent choice and the media is head over ass in love with the dude, and it makes Canada seem much more cool and culturally open than the United States of America, where the most prominent 'brown politicians' have 'white names' (Bobby Jindal et. al.) – but that's a cultural thing...
Meanwhile, Justin Trudeau is turning heads all over the place, as his looks and relative youth (which invited the criticism and mockery of the Conservative Party of Canada) draw the admiration of many, and the media did not hesitate to point out his effects on women. I don't know... all senior bureaucrats and political figures are more the inventions of their parties, in the contemporary system, than self-reliant actors. The wave of positivity is going to break at some point, and it will probably just lead to more of the same for Canada (either political apathy or another Conservative government, depending on the number and severity of scandals).
Also please note: the Niqab debate, a completely different issue from Sikhs in Government, managed to fail spectacularly and further sunk its inventors, but that is all ancient history according to the Gods of The News Cycles, who have decreed that ISIS, after being on the backburner until they attacked a European city, are Big News again. Islamophobia, which was also a backburner topic for a number of years, is now a household name to be invoked in hopeless arguments between idealistic youth and their racist parents. In Canada, Hindu temples were attacked, one mosque was firebombed, and a small segment of the population basically confirmed the idea of Racist Canada being alive and well in 2015.
The Paris Attacks of November 2015 are already the biggest news story of the month, whether deservedly or not, and are going to tinge all political discourse in the West and beyond for a year or more, and are having interesting effects. The United States is toying with the idea of isolationism as well as a final solution to its Muslim population (via special ID and blatant surveillance and oppression). Canada, meanwhile, announced via its global mouthpiece, Justin Trudeau, that it would allow refugees – a feel-good story in a week marred with tragedy and soapbox speeches about the world. Besides the 'rock star image' [via Lamesteam Media] , what else has this change in governance changed, in governance?
5/7/14
Death by Misclick
Have things gotten to the point where this is possible? It seems funny to me, like a bit Charlie Chaplin would have done in a silent film send-up of the Internet. It's probably not possible yet, I have to say... yet when that PR lady tweeted about AIDS her job ended and she faced the scorn of both the twittersphere and the blogoverse, not to mention the brutal comment board nebulae. Could the death of her relations with the cyber-public been caused by a simple misclick? Is it safe to laugh at her now that the dust has settled? What was her favorite album of 2011?
Here's my wild idea: she was typing out the post as some sort of perverse joke, and instead of properly screenshotting it for transmission to a few friends, she brushed the screen with her manicured pinky, inadvertently tweeting it. I know, it's so outrageous to think that someone wouldn't tweet ridiculous or hateful things that this particular example has no real value at all. Maybe it was part of a rebellious act after years of PR repression had tangled the psyche, and something offensive and sharp was needed to express frustration. A cry for help.
Well in any case it is easily possible a misclick can cost someone their job, since there are actual employers who are hysterical enough about indiscretion and deviance to fire or discipline you for shit they dig up about you on facebook, let alone the things you actually mean to showcase. This is why in real life there is the unspoken code of workplace civility, or workplace confidentiality (common in livelier, uninhibited workplaces): why people usually only express ignorant or fucked up ideas in speech, a safe distance away from recording devices, the offendable, and awkward or unexpected silences. You lose your job, next thing you know your credit is dead because you were too depressed about burning your own digital effigy to find a new job (plus the internet ruined your social credit and made you borderline unemployable, and you didn't capitalize on your pariah status), then your social life is dead because you have no money and are either couch surfing or on the street, or maybe at your parents' house. Next thing you know you're dead.
Death by misclick, but then you awaken from death as an online-only ghost, or get reincarnated as a future Social Media Expert. Really, I bet misclicks have cost a lot of people something over the years, and I'm not just talking about rounds of near-professional-level Starcraft. Of course nobody should use a misclick as an excuse, because it's a poor one, but outside of crazy hypothetical situations I am certain there is plenty of danger in them Worse on some level than a social misstep or faux pas or gauche seizure. And it's kind of crazy to think that something as small as the twitch of a finger could ruin your life, without even killing you or getting you pregnant. Or I guess that's crazy and says something about the internet era. I don't even know. I don't misclick. Not even when I post this article, or when I go most of a month without posting one. I've got to keep the reader hungry for new Publicato 'shzzt' and never admit that I am drying out, failing the exercise of writing and maybe worst of all... my faith in blogging shaken to the core.
Here's my wild idea: she was typing out the post as some sort of perverse joke, and instead of properly screenshotting it for transmission to a few friends, she brushed the screen with her manicured pinky, inadvertently tweeting it. I know, it's so outrageous to think that someone wouldn't tweet ridiculous or hateful things that this particular example has no real value at all. Maybe it was part of a rebellious act after years of PR repression had tangled the psyche, and something offensive and sharp was needed to express frustration. A cry for help.
Well in any case it is easily possible a misclick can cost someone their job, since there are actual employers who are hysterical enough about indiscretion and deviance to fire or discipline you for shit they dig up about you on facebook, let alone the things you actually mean to showcase. This is why in real life there is the unspoken code of workplace civility, or workplace confidentiality (common in livelier, uninhibited workplaces): why people usually only express ignorant or fucked up ideas in speech, a safe distance away from recording devices, the offendable, and awkward or unexpected silences. You lose your job, next thing you know your credit is dead because you were too depressed about burning your own digital effigy to find a new job (plus the internet ruined your social credit and made you borderline unemployable, and you didn't capitalize on your pariah status), then your social life is dead because you have no money and are either couch surfing or on the street, or maybe at your parents' house. Next thing you know you're dead.
Death by misclick, but then you awaken from death as an online-only ghost, or get reincarnated as a future Social Media Expert. Really, I bet misclicks have cost a lot of people something over the years, and I'm not just talking about rounds of near-professional-level Starcraft. Of course nobody should use a misclick as an excuse, because it's a poor one, but outside of crazy hypothetical situations I am certain there is plenty of danger in them Worse on some level than a social misstep or faux pas or gauche seizure. And it's kind of crazy to think that something as small as the twitch of a finger could ruin your life, without even killing you or getting you pregnant. Or I guess that's crazy and says something about the internet era. I don't even know. I don't misclick. Not even when I post this article, or when I go most of a month without posting one. I've got to keep the reader hungry for new Publicato 'shzzt' and never admit that I am drying out, failing the exercise of writing and maybe worst of all... my faith in blogging shaken to the core.
12/21/13
Publicato: A Review, A Reverie, A Reminiscence, Pt. 2
In the last part I described the humble beginnings of this still outrageously humble blog, and also that I began it with the less-than-noble intention of making a buck or two. Nevertheless the thing got done and survived long enough to see the year 2011... an exciting new time filled with possibility! Maybe I would get a mention on Twitter, or a shout out from a 'legit' and 'credible' internet personality/publication. Maybe I would be approached by CBS to make a really bad sitcom about my blog. I was dreaming big in those days, I tell you.
Mostly I was anxious and uncertain as to what would drive views. I would write something rather well paced and exciting (to me) with a great joke or two or a great sentence, and it would get 9 hits, and something I thought was much less qualitudinal would get 50+ hits and the next day I would go back to 4 hits and wonder what the hell I was doing. I figured it had a bit to do with maybe: 1) Self awareness issues on my part driving away traffic; 2) search term business beyond my simple pre-SEO understanding; 3) Life in the Content Farm; or 4) hits from automated crawlers or unlucky internet nomads Googling for information or high-power, hi-concept content. An alternative I still consider possible to this day is that I am simply incapable of getting any kind of reading on my audience, despite Google's pretty in-depth statistical records, and therefore cannot curate the content I write at all, since I am simply unsure about who reads Publicato and why.
I also took a very weak shot at embroiling this website in the twittersphere via a twitter throwaway account but I found it hard to tweet (of course now I've got some amazingly funny joke tweets, a basic understanding of twitter etiquette, and follow a number of pretty cool/inspirational/funny accounts) anything worthwhile and the plan #floundered like only the inspired failures of a lazy idiot can. Needless to say I remained firmly a sloppy blogger, and the slovenly appearance of my blog ("Templates, really? Fuck you Anonynimous Bosch...") kept me in the dark lands of the struggling writer trying out an anonymous blog – because blogging is a big joke, for morons who like words, that no respectable writer would do for any other reason than self promotion.
I watched a hell of a lot of TV in that time, it appears. I would be ashamed of the Survivor posts or even the attempts at getting more Conan buzz or maybe even a Conan mention (or a writing job in the show's fabled 'shoddy joke storage and hack room') if they weren't for the most part written well. In 2011 I wrote some of my favorite works, in retrospect, because I had a loose and easy style, was less afraid of swearing, and did some amazing pieces some of which will be included in the Best Of list nearer the end of the year. In a way, all this navel gazing is my gift to you, the reader. Maybe you missed my golden age (statistically probable)... now you can't.
Shit, I know most readers won't believe me. "Publicato never had a golden age," they'll say. I don't quite know about that... as a pessimist I would agree, but as the person who toiled on this site (okay, slacked around without often delivering fine work) I would disagree. It is true that the blog as a cultural medium is dead (Google it), and almost nobody reads this one, and if anything I should be ashamed (anonymity working as intended in this case), but I will continue doing something, anything, to prove I exist if only to myself at this point. Good moments used to happen all the time. Coming up are some of the greats, because I realize that a telling of the site's history is really not something anyone is interested in. 2011 was a quiet year, 2012 was as well, but heated up. 2013 is when I 'blew up' and the blog got about 80% of its total views (see paragraph 2 of this post to see how I feel about that). Right after I had burned out... here are some highlights from before that time, in roughly chronological order, linked via hypertext quotes:
"an otherwise great man who no doubt impersonates beggars in his spare time to help afford his suit habit"
"confrontation is the Achilles' heel of the misanthrope"
"Then again, what business do I have trying to equate reality with TV?"
"Today's "best years" are the teenage years, which makes sense, because when I was a teenager I had two shows convincing me that the best years were in later life"
"I must be doing something right, because I am not an internet millionaire by my blogging"
"the slightly toxic, slightly oily, slightly radioactive water of Canadian politics"
"a diseased time when I cared a little too much about what I listened to, and felt sharply any criticism of my musical taste"
"anything worse than using bandwidth to watch someone's clumsy hands fiddle with packaging for ten minutes while breathlessly talking about the gloss of the cardboard?"
"ideas are parasites"
"Viruses will outlive us all."
"maybe I'm a tin-eared bastard with a dumb, sloppy blog" 1*
"You'd have to be insane to look to the 80's and enjoy anything about the aesthetic"
"Then there are unpublished writers" 2*
That right there is a pretty much the definitive list of interesting and/or popular posts on Publicato from the years 2010 and 2011. Some of those quotes were chosen out of laziness, most of them seem completely audacious, but they represent my idea of the finest work of that time. Some of those articles are written in a jokey or derivative style which I have largely stopped doing, but they are all fantastique, man. There's also a Reviewing Fog article in which an online commentator just pwns the shit out of me but you have to search for something that good. As a sloppy blogger I reserve the right to let someone else do the work sometimes.
1* and 2* denote extreme quality and immense fondness on my part. Those are not links you want to miss if you have ever enjoyed reading this blog or if you are new to it and wonder why I keep on despite so obviously being a tremendous burned-out idiot. If any above links don't convince you, keep reading the blog in hopes I do post something good, or search this blog's history yourself. Note also: I would vouch for any of the above links as writing samples for not-too-serious interested parties. Well, that carries me all the way to 2012, and later I will finish this article series by summarizing 2012/2013 in a few snappy and very poignant sentences.
Mostly I was anxious and uncertain as to what would drive views. I would write something rather well paced and exciting (to me) with a great joke or two or a great sentence, and it would get 9 hits, and something I thought was much less qualitudinal would get 50+ hits and the next day I would go back to 4 hits and wonder what the hell I was doing. I figured it had a bit to do with maybe: 1) Self awareness issues on my part driving away traffic; 2) search term business beyond my simple pre-SEO understanding; 3) Life in the Content Farm; or 4) hits from automated crawlers or unlucky internet nomads Googling for information or high-power, hi-concept content. An alternative I still consider possible to this day is that I am simply incapable of getting any kind of reading on my audience, despite Google's pretty in-depth statistical records, and therefore cannot curate the content I write at all, since I am simply unsure about who reads Publicato and why.
I also took a very weak shot at embroiling this website in the twittersphere via a twitter throwaway account but I found it hard to tweet (of course now I've got some amazingly funny joke tweets, a basic understanding of twitter etiquette, and follow a number of pretty cool/inspirational/funny accounts) anything worthwhile and the plan #floundered like only the inspired failures of a lazy idiot can. Needless to say I remained firmly a sloppy blogger, and the slovenly appearance of my blog ("Templates, really? Fuck you Anonynimous Bosch...") kept me in the dark lands of the struggling writer trying out an anonymous blog – because blogging is a big joke, for morons who like words, that no respectable writer would do for any other reason than self promotion.
I watched a hell of a lot of TV in that time, it appears. I would be ashamed of the Survivor posts or even the attempts at getting more Conan buzz or maybe even a Conan mention (or a writing job in the show's fabled 'shoddy joke storage and hack room') if they weren't for the most part written well. In 2011 I wrote some of my favorite works, in retrospect, because I had a loose and easy style, was less afraid of swearing, and did some amazing pieces some of which will be included in the Best Of list nearer the end of the year. In a way, all this navel gazing is my gift to you, the reader. Maybe you missed my golden age (statistically probable)... now you can't.
Shit, I know most readers won't believe me. "Publicato never had a golden age," they'll say. I don't quite know about that... as a pessimist I would agree, but as the person who toiled on this site (okay, slacked around without often delivering fine work) I would disagree. It is true that the blog as a cultural medium is dead (Google it), and almost nobody reads this one, and if anything I should be ashamed (anonymity working as intended in this case), but I will continue doing something, anything, to prove I exist if only to myself at this point. Good moments used to happen all the time. Coming up are some of the greats, because I realize that a telling of the site's history is really not something anyone is interested in. 2011 was a quiet year, 2012 was as well, but heated up. 2013 is when I 'blew up' and the blog got about 80% of its total views (see paragraph 2 of this post to see how I feel about that). Right after I had burned out... here are some highlights from before that time, in roughly chronological order, linked via hypertext quotes:
"an otherwise great man who no doubt impersonates beggars in his spare time to help afford his suit habit"
"confrontation is the Achilles' heel of the misanthrope"
"Then again, what business do I have trying to equate reality with TV?"
"Today's "best years" are the teenage years, which makes sense, because when I was a teenager I had two shows convincing me that the best years were in later life"
"I must be doing something right, because I am not an internet millionaire by my blogging"
"the slightly toxic, slightly oily, slightly radioactive water of Canadian politics"
"a diseased time when I cared a little too much about what I listened to, and felt sharply any criticism of my musical taste"
"anything worse than using bandwidth to watch someone's clumsy hands fiddle with packaging for ten minutes while breathlessly talking about the gloss of the cardboard?"
"ideas are parasites"
"Viruses will outlive us all."
"maybe I'm a tin-eared bastard with a dumb, sloppy blog" 1*
"You'd have to be insane to look to the 80's and enjoy anything about the aesthetic"
"Then there are unpublished writers" 2*
That right there is a pretty much the definitive list of interesting and/or popular posts on Publicato from the years 2010 and 2011. Some of those quotes were chosen out of laziness, most of them seem completely audacious, but they represent my idea of the finest work of that time. Some of those articles are written in a jokey or derivative style which I have largely stopped doing, but they are all fantastique, man. There's also a Reviewing Fog article in which an online commentator just pwns the shit out of me but you have to search for something that good. As a sloppy blogger I reserve the right to let someone else do the work sometimes.
1* and 2* denote extreme quality and immense fondness on my part. Those are not links you want to miss if you have ever enjoyed reading this blog or if you are new to it and wonder why I keep on despite so obviously being a tremendous burned-out idiot. If any above links don't convince you, keep reading the blog in hopes I do post something good, or search this blog's history yourself. Note also: I would vouch for any of the above links as writing samples for not-too-serious interested parties. Well, that carries me all the way to 2012, and later I will finish this article series by summarizing 2012/2013 in a few snappy and very poignant sentences.
12/19/13
Publicato: A Review, A Reverie, A Reminiscence, Pt.1
Three years and three months ago I started Publicato with dreams of click-jacking, SEO optimization, and AdSense pennies rolling in. I was unemployed, on my own, pretty cognizant of a dim future; my friends were either safely employed, studying, or hustling. I had some crazy and vague ideas about becoming a true internet personality, maybe doing some cross-promotion via Twitter, and getting into the thousands (re: readership) pretty quickly. Guest blogging my way up to a guest feature with a big name, like Vice or Cracked (which was still pretty legit in those days), or something even better (like a magazine website or maybe even print)... incredibly naive stuff, but I had my ambitions and what better way to pursue them than with Google Blogger?
Well, quite obviously, I should've made a hi-concept WordPress or Tumblr setup and done some mind-bending po-mo conceptualist shit. I knew about WordPress, but being a vaporwave blogger versus real Google monies was just too much. I had to make rent, I needed some better shirts and pants, maybe a third tie, something quantifiably adult that only true income or a career can provide. The internet was a different place in 2010 - there was less anxiety about content farming (which peaked and declined), it was less introspective, the 'blogosphere' was less of a joke term. Twitter was still kind of uncertain and it was easy enough to get by calling it a lifestyle service for people with goldfish brains and smartphones.
Times certainly have changed, but enough of that good memory stuff. This article is about Publicato... now you know what I wanted it to be (a $10-100/mo income supplement with good as hell jokes, sharp satire, reviewish articles and a ladder to proper freelance writing) and what it became (pro-bono, introspective, distracted, weary, strident, kind of phoned-in at times [sorry]) but what never changed was the mission, which was detailed in the first ever blog post I made (Canned Soup) on September 20, 2010:
"... if you let me I will create spectacular vistas of invented and existing things ... maybe not, and I will just be a bitter, judgmental internet spectator..."
Very prescient and wise, I'd say. It was the unstable first step, when I didn't know what to do, really, but wanted a bit of everything. Lots of blogs specialize or self-promote (often both in some ratio) and I didn't really have anything worth specializing in. What followed were mostly unremarkable posts, as I sought a voice and some kind of sense of purpose beyond getting a good number of readers and then monetizing the hell out of the blog. Name was chosen, quite obviously, as a piss take of Politico... the brand motto (slogan?) was derived from a line of Juvenalian satire. Satire was and remains quite important to this blog, but the aggregation of the odd sincere article and natural disinclination (not going to compete with the Onion), corroded any sense of purity of purpose. For reference: canned soup is still incredibly bland to me and I haven't found any good brands or varieties, nor does seasoning really solve the problem.
In the first three months I got a grand total of 31 hits, putting my dreams of monetization in jeopardy and essentially sending me directly into a dark place from which I have never emerged, all the while unemployed and pissing money into rent and other things. Reflecting on times gone by, I have to say the original content is actually quite decent. I would encourage any interested reader (assuming I have an actual readership and not just spider/bot/crawler traffic) to check out the older stuff all the way to 2010. 'Midst the hack writing there are a few gems, and the germs of some later fixations. If you're lazy or disinterested, don't despair! I will, before the year 2014, go through myself and post a list and review format blog post about the cream of the crop.
My blogging fortune changed dramatically in December 2010, when my recap of a Conan O'Brien (newly on TBS then) episode drew an unprecedented 200+ visitors, and even the attention of the audience member at the core of that episode. I was extremely excited by how that turned out, and did a sequel post about my stupid excitation, and replied to the comments like an idiot, and possibly established a readership that may or may not still exist. After that post I could expect more hits in a month than the first three months combined, and December 2010's stats eclipsed the next four months combined. Anecdotally, it would take almost a full year before I would get another non-spam comment.
You bet the grand visions returned to me then, and promptly fell away as reality intervened. A number of hardscrabble months followed, in which I realized that 70-100 views a month were fantastic compared to my old numbers but hardly encouraging. I wondered what I was doing wrong (probably everything) and how I could fix it (hoping to have to do nothing). I think I redesigned some font colors, the background, and the spacing in the header title... then kept on plugging away. I hoped that hard work could be substituted for buzz, but if anything this blog stands for the fact that you can do amazing work (hahah – just go with it) and get a minimal amount of interest. That brings me roughly to the end of 2010... please note that I am planning a 'best of Publicato' review (I am told it WILL unearth some gems), as well as at least one more part of reminiscence/retrospective.
Well, quite obviously, I should've made a hi-concept WordPress or Tumblr setup and done some mind-bending po-mo conceptualist shit. I knew about WordPress, but being a vaporwave blogger versus real Google monies was just too much. I had to make rent, I needed some better shirts and pants, maybe a third tie, something quantifiably adult that only true income or a career can provide. The internet was a different place in 2010 - there was less anxiety about content farming (which peaked and declined), it was less introspective, the 'blogosphere' was less of a joke term. Twitter was still kind of uncertain and it was easy enough to get by calling it a lifestyle service for people with goldfish brains and smartphones.
Times certainly have changed, but enough of that good memory stuff. This article is about Publicato... now you know what I wanted it to be (a $10-100/mo income supplement with good as hell jokes, sharp satire, reviewish articles and a ladder to proper freelance writing) and what it became (pro-bono, introspective, distracted, weary, strident, kind of phoned-in at times [sorry]) but what never changed was the mission, which was detailed in the first ever blog post I made (Canned Soup) on September 20, 2010:
"... if you let me I will create spectacular vistas of invented and existing things ... maybe not, and I will just be a bitter, judgmental internet spectator..."
Very prescient and wise, I'd say. It was the unstable first step, when I didn't know what to do, really, but wanted a bit of everything. Lots of blogs specialize or self-promote (often both in some ratio) and I didn't really have anything worth specializing in. What followed were mostly unremarkable posts, as I sought a voice and some kind of sense of purpose beyond getting a good number of readers and then monetizing the hell out of the blog. Name was chosen, quite obviously, as a piss take of Politico... the brand motto (slogan?) was derived from a line of Juvenalian satire. Satire was and remains quite important to this blog, but the aggregation of the odd sincere article and natural disinclination (not going to compete with the Onion), corroded any sense of purity of purpose. For reference: canned soup is still incredibly bland to me and I haven't found any good brands or varieties, nor does seasoning really solve the problem.
In the first three months I got a grand total of 31 hits, putting my dreams of monetization in jeopardy and essentially sending me directly into a dark place from which I have never emerged, all the while unemployed and pissing money into rent and other things. Reflecting on times gone by, I have to say the original content is actually quite decent. I would encourage any interested reader (assuming I have an actual readership and not just spider/bot/crawler traffic) to check out the older stuff all the way to 2010. 'Midst the hack writing there are a few gems, and the germs of some later fixations. If you're lazy or disinterested, don't despair! I will, before the year 2014, go through myself and post a list and review format blog post about the cream of the crop.
My blogging fortune changed dramatically in December 2010, when my recap of a Conan O'Brien (newly on TBS then) episode drew an unprecedented 200+ visitors, and even the attention of the audience member at the core of that episode. I was extremely excited by how that turned out, and did a sequel post about my stupid excitation, and replied to the comments like an idiot, and possibly established a readership that may or may not still exist. After that post I could expect more hits in a month than the first three months combined, and December 2010's stats eclipsed the next four months combined. Anecdotally, it would take almost a full year before I would get another non-spam comment.
You bet the grand visions returned to me then, and promptly fell away as reality intervened. A number of hardscrabble months followed, in which I realized that 70-100 views a month were fantastic compared to my old numbers but hardly encouraging. I wondered what I was doing wrong (probably everything) and how I could fix it (hoping to have to do nothing). I think I redesigned some font colors, the background, and the spacing in the header title... then kept on plugging away. I hoped that hard work could be substituted for buzz, but if anything this blog stands for the fact that you can do amazing work (hahah – just go with it) and get a minimal amount of interest. That brings me roughly to the end of 2010... please note that I am planning a 'best of Publicato' review (I am told it WILL unearth some gems), as well as at least one more part of reminiscence/retrospective.
8/14/13
How Long Till Facebook Is Irrelevant: The Answer May Surprise You
Facebook's story is pretty fun to tell. Before 2006 (or somewhere around there) you couldn't sign up for Facebook without a university email address. That ended. Then the media caught on, a while later the floodgates opened, and anyone was let in at a cost to exclusivity which might have kept the social media service relevant into 2010. However, things happened as they did, because the Kings of Facebook or whatever needed a way to turn a relatively hyped, useless, hackneyed service into a dividend-paying money-printing machine. That's why your little brother, your dad, and your aunt are all Facebook Friends with you.
Anyways, people used to freely put up pictures of themselves doing drugs, copulating, as well as excreting on and variously vandalizing private property, because nobody on the service was square enough to be A) an uncool employer or B) a rat fink. Nudity was the only thing out of bounds, but nobody needed the internet for that. It was the wild west, populated by stupid university students. That phase didn't last long, but it was truly a hopeful one. It's hard to understand at this point in time because nobody does it anymore. Even Facebook's dumbest, least-University-educated users manage to post mostly PG-Employment level material. It was generally the exhibitionists and show-offs who couldn't keep their borderline activities in private memory, which is fine, because they're the same people for whom nothing is ever good enough.
Then, with the advent of a growing user base, employers took full advantage of lax privacy settings to investigate their employees and, if the optics were wrong, fire them. Facebook made some noises about privacy settings (which advertisers, PRISM et al. overrule anyway) and most people realized that, with privacy settings set properly, and a non-compromising profile picture, they wouldn't be able to get bagged. Even more people realized that, as always, nobody cares and nobody needs to know anything, and why they were on Facebook is anyone's guess. Many are still there. With employers and other nosy squares using Facebook to essentially spy on people the end had begun, and the important phase had ended.
With children, parents, nosy bosses, moralists, the uneducated, and all manner of riff-raff inhabiting Facebook, the popularity exploded and it became the thing everyone knew about (including worthless 'social media experts' on TV). It was like Twitter, briefly, but maybe even hotter. By now, nearly every Western person between the ages of 20 and 35 has a majority of friends and contacts on Facebook, with 'friends' numbering far in excess of 150. Of course, the great upsurge in popularity also meant increased scrutiny. Many people thought it was incredibly low of employers to spy on and then fire or punish employees because they were pictured drinking a beer. I agree completely. If you want to spy on an employee, check their Linked In account, because Linked In is designed for squares with no concept of the separation of life and work.
Most of the best criticism of Facebook revolved around its user base and effect on users. If you have an account, you already know. People broadcast their dimwitted political stances, their gullibility, pictures of food, and way too much information. Users also tend to only upload content that reflects positively on them and their lifestyle, making Facebook an echo chamber and also a bizarre cycle of envy and envy-prompting. Certain people, putting too much stock in their internet friendship machine, can see the smiling photographs, the tans, the significant others and the happiness of others and become incredibly lonely, sad, isolated, and even more deluded. So it can be said that the service caters first and foremost not to narcissists, but to the self-centered and potentially to the sociopath as well. In essence it can be claimed that Facebook is unhealthy, perhaps moreso than the internet.
Hell, I have not even made mention of the inherent privacy problems which provided privacy options do not solve. In essence, by ever existing on Facebook you are already compromised and every detail you edit or add thereafter goes into the vortex. The police can see everything you've ever said without your knowledge. So can any government, entity, or corporation with the stature or power to make Facebook cooperate. Not to mention anyone with a certain level of know-how can probably have that stuff you willingly shared about yourself. The craziest part is how the service has tapped into the (unconscious) human desire to share and self-promote... the disburdening is done willingly so it's not even entrapment. It's just exploitation. The old crusty man in my mind wants to say it's the fault of the user for being appallingly stupid, but the angry young man wants to blame Facebook, Inc. for just about every misery and betrayal they have wrought.
'Facebook isn't an echo chamber, and echo chamber is a nebulous term used by out-of-date critics to describe viral and meme-based behaviour', you say. I disagree, and urge you to shut up and stop being an apologist: Facebook often functions as an echo chamber devoid of consciousness or critical thought. For every stupid food picture, statement of outrage, birthday wish, and TMI infodump, there are a dozen re-shared memes, propaganda, or internet links. It's an echo chamber that shows you just what your acquaintances are wasting their time with, and invites you to also read top tens, read unsourced and biased articles, look for cute pics, and post shallow, heart-on-sleeve political and social rhetoric. Yeah, that shit's pretty awful, and in this writer's humble opinion, far worse than the self-promotion and the mindless sharing of private moments with no real purpose.
Facebook is already irrelevant: savvy people know this, hip people know this, even tweens know this. I suspect that its last year of relevance was 2010. At this point users see it as either 'Facebook!' or 'depressing friend directory', and increasingly, not even the gullible youth are excited about Facebook anymore. Some even use Twitter to engage in such discussions as #noneofmyfriendsonfacebook and to broadcast that they're getting out of the Facebook game. With the userbase growing older, lamer, and reposting more and more shitty content from the internet, and generally doing nothing important, it is no surprise that hardly anyone considers an account a meaningful or exciting thing, except for people who are promoting themselves, their business, or their art. In the end Facebook will only be useful for them, but its complete irrelevance means that there will be no further scandal because the user base is complacent and the service fulfills its duty quite well.
With a stable share of users and corporate status, it is unlikely that Facebook will disappear in less than five years. Ff a better service steals its users it may dwindle, but in Web 2.0 and beyond, computer/internet-literate users are too insignificant a group. The odds of a better service emerging are also low, since Facebook is part of the establishment and can likely take infringing parties to court and bankrupt them even with frivolous litigation. Facebook itself isn't novel enough anymore to create 'addicts' in the 2006-era sense: remaining power users are generally students, stay-at-home-parents, or retirees. With every baby picture, family portrait, and unnecessary political diatribe, the service makes itself less remarkable and more profitable... with every deleted user account, Facebook continues to hold private data in digital escrow, as if preparing for a blackmail war... with every day, as it fades into irrelevance far away from the beating heart of the internet, Facebook becomes more of a fact of the internet, here to stay and inflict social suffering on untold thousands.
Anyways, people used to freely put up pictures of themselves doing drugs, copulating, as well as excreting on and variously vandalizing private property, because nobody on the service was square enough to be A) an uncool employer or B) a rat fink. Nudity was the only thing out of bounds, but nobody needed the internet for that. It was the wild west, populated by stupid university students. That phase didn't last long, but it was truly a hopeful one. It's hard to understand at this point in time because nobody does it anymore. Even Facebook's dumbest, least-University-educated users manage to post mostly PG-Employment level material. It was generally the exhibitionists and show-offs who couldn't keep their borderline activities in private memory, which is fine, because they're the same people for whom nothing is ever good enough.
Then, with the advent of a growing user base, employers took full advantage of lax privacy settings to investigate their employees and, if the optics were wrong, fire them. Facebook made some noises about privacy settings (which advertisers, PRISM et al. overrule anyway) and most people realized that, with privacy settings set properly, and a non-compromising profile picture, they wouldn't be able to get bagged. Even more people realized that, as always, nobody cares and nobody needs to know anything, and why they were on Facebook is anyone's guess. Many are still there. With employers and other nosy squares using Facebook to essentially spy on people the end had begun, and the important phase had ended.
With children, parents, nosy bosses, moralists, the uneducated, and all manner of riff-raff inhabiting Facebook, the popularity exploded and it became the thing everyone knew about (including worthless 'social media experts' on TV). It was like Twitter, briefly, but maybe even hotter. By now, nearly every Western person between the ages of 20 and 35 has a majority of friends and contacts on Facebook, with 'friends' numbering far in excess of 150. Of course, the great upsurge in popularity also meant increased scrutiny. Many people thought it was incredibly low of employers to spy on and then fire or punish employees because they were pictured drinking a beer. I agree completely. If you want to spy on an employee, check their Linked In account, because Linked In is designed for squares with no concept of the separation of life and work.
Most of the best criticism of Facebook revolved around its user base and effect on users. If you have an account, you already know. People broadcast their dimwitted political stances, their gullibility, pictures of food, and way too much information. Users also tend to only upload content that reflects positively on them and their lifestyle, making Facebook an echo chamber and also a bizarre cycle of envy and envy-prompting. Certain people, putting too much stock in their internet friendship machine, can see the smiling photographs, the tans, the significant others and the happiness of others and become incredibly lonely, sad, isolated, and even more deluded. So it can be said that the service caters first and foremost not to narcissists, but to the self-centered and potentially to the sociopath as well. In essence it can be claimed that Facebook is unhealthy, perhaps moreso than the internet.
Hell, I have not even made mention of the inherent privacy problems which provided privacy options do not solve. In essence, by ever existing on Facebook you are already compromised and every detail you edit or add thereafter goes into the vortex. The police can see everything you've ever said without your knowledge. So can any government, entity, or corporation with the stature or power to make Facebook cooperate. Not to mention anyone with a certain level of know-how can probably have that stuff you willingly shared about yourself. The craziest part is how the service has tapped into the (unconscious) human desire to share and self-promote... the disburdening is done willingly so it's not even entrapment. It's just exploitation. The old crusty man in my mind wants to say it's the fault of the user for being appallingly stupid, but the angry young man wants to blame Facebook, Inc. for just about every misery and betrayal they have wrought.
'Facebook isn't an echo chamber, and echo chamber is a nebulous term used by out-of-date critics to describe viral and meme-based behaviour', you say. I disagree, and urge you to shut up and stop being an apologist: Facebook often functions as an echo chamber devoid of consciousness or critical thought. For every stupid food picture, statement of outrage, birthday wish, and TMI infodump, there are a dozen re-shared memes, propaganda, or internet links. It's an echo chamber that shows you just what your acquaintances are wasting their time with, and invites you to also read top tens, read unsourced and biased articles, look for cute pics, and post shallow, heart-on-sleeve political and social rhetoric. Yeah, that shit's pretty awful, and in this writer's humble opinion, far worse than the self-promotion and the mindless sharing of private moments with no real purpose.
Facebook is already irrelevant: savvy people know this, hip people know this, even tweens know this. I suspect that its last year of relevance was 2010. At this point users see it as either 'Facebook!' or 'depressing friend directory', and increasingly, not even the gullible youth are excited about Facebook anymore. Some even use Twitter to engage in such discussions as #noneofmyfriendsonfacebook and to broadcast that they're getting out of the Facebook game. With the userbase growing older, lamer, and reposting more and more shitty content from the internet, and generally doing nothing important, it is no surprise that hardly anyone considers an account a meaningful or exciting thing, except for people who are promoting themselves, their business, or their art. In the end Facebook will only be useful for them, but its complete irrelevance means that there will be no further scandal because the user base is complacent and the service fulfills its duty quite well.
With a stable share of users and corporate status, it is unlikely that Facebook will disappear in less than five years. Ff a better service steals its users it may dwindle, but in Web 2.0 and beyond, computer/internet-literate users are too insignificant a group. The odds of a better service emerging are also low, since Facebook is part of the establishment and can likely take infringing parties to court and bankrupt them even with frivolous litigation. Facebook itself isn't novel enough anymore to create 'addicts' in the 2006-era sense: remaining power users are generally students, stay-at-home-parents, or retirees. With every baby picture, family portrait, and unnecessary political diatribe, the service makes itself less remarkable and more profitable... with every deleted user account, Facebook continues to hold private data in digital escrow, as if preparing for a blackmail war... with every day, as it fades into irrelevance far away from the beating heart of the internet, Facebook becomes more of a fact of the internet, here to stay and inflict social suffering on untold thousands.
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