I was on YouTube today, more or less wasting time, when I discovered the movie section was back online. They took it down a number of months ago, and I was wondering where it went. Have no fear: Slacker is still available. Many of you no doubt remember using the movie section during periods of extreme boredom and lassitude, and its return is both a blessing and a curse. First: lots of the movies are of middling quality and may not hold your interest. You may have to force yourself to watch some of the movies in their entirety. This is alright if you consider watching bad movies a type of humorous sport, but if you have limited time, no sense of humor, or are otherwise a tight-assed nincompoop, it's best to stay away from the YouTube movie section unless your beloved critics give you the 'Okay'. Or, you know what? Just drive to the movieplex and spare your bandwidth.
But everyone knows that the best deals on YouTube are the movies you'd otherwise have to buy. That's right. Pirated movies on YouTube. Recently I watched Dune, and I'd like to post about the experience, since I've already delivered the news in a concise, informative, yet irreverent manner.
You may want to read the actual Frank Herbert novel before you try the movie. If you jump into the movie without reading the book you will either hate it or love it. If you read the book you will hate the movie, most likely, but at least you'll know what's happening. Also, if you've never watched a David Lynch movie, don't let Dune spoil your enthusiasm for an otherwise interesting director.
Apologists say that the movie is interesting. This may be. The source would have made an awesome movie, but this one is simply cursed. There's no other way around it. The book is too complex to be easily presented in 2 hours. The Sandworm sequences were alright and almost distracted me from the fact that I was watching a disaster.
And don't get me wrong. I kind of liked the movie, and it starts rather strong, but by the end your faith has been repeatedly beaten and broken. By the mid-way point most folk who've read the novel will be disappointed. And not "Harry Potter doesn't look like I imagined in the movies and it ruined my reading of books 1,2,3" but rather "Awww, really? I liked this story/character/chapter/concept/exposition".
And don't get me wrong. Kyle McLaughlin did a good job as the prince, since anyone else (especially contemporary depictions) would've played him as a petulant little know-it-all. But there was no real depth anywhere in the movie, as you'd expect from a cursed movie adaptation of a 400 page book. The damn thing's cursed, man. Sting is a miserable git in this film, and the Harkonnens are too overplayed to be suitably creepy, disgusting, or menacing.
Oh and the Sardaukar look stupid as fuck, for an elite troop. Laser guns and weak shit that the book was not about at all. This movie would've made me shit my pants in 1984 - after Blade Runner there was a sense that science fiction could do no wrong, and that the masses would be wrong in ignoring it. Dune changed that, it would've left me without a single happy thought. It even had Sean Young and played her miserably, and even the few beautiful scenes have a sense of miserable rushed cheapness about them. I feel bad shitting on the movie so much, because I like most of the parts that went into it, and the aesthetic was fairly good, and the first half-hour was just strong enough to keep me watching – but I can't feel guilty because it's a shit movie, and anyone who says otherwise is either lying or deluded or an apologist. It's not great. It may even be worth watching as entertainment or as a warning to all incoming film-makers, but it's not great.
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