Undercover Dross

If anyone can answer the following question for me, I'd be much obliged: Is Undercover Boss just a capitalist circlejerk? I am all for a cathartic show in this post-financial binge era, but those binging on dollars are still binging on dollars. But don't get me wrong. I'm not some sort of perverse thinker. I like the positivity of the show, and the genuine concern the boss shows for the workers he finds (picked out by the producers no doubt) while ignoring the larger issues. People who listen to their guts are born leaders, and all people are born from people who had to listen to their guts. It all makes perfect sense.

Last night's episode had a fat boss dealing with his skinny minions and getting out of breath while working the roomservice beat, the maintenance beat, and even (briefly) the sales beat. I'm getting out of breath just thinking about the goodwill he showed by giving one man five thousand dollars for a suit. I admit, I am not the sort to like largesse, but when largesse is dressed up as charity I lose my breath. A good suit can be bought for a thousand dollars or less, easily. The deals get better if you know a good tailor. Maybe, I don't know, and this is obviously a heretical thought, but the whole show could be replaced by one or two executives agreeing to forfeit raises and bonuses in order to raise the general level of pay.

The part that really gets me is how the minions meet the boss in his office, and he goes "Remember me?" all condescendingly, and tells them that he is really Robert Rupert Maximilian Guildenstern III. Then they're expected to cry, and the bosses have a habit of talking about their parents and crying. Oh everyone is sad about their parents, especially those of us who owe our parents much, but on television you should keep your composure, even if you're dealing with a woman (your employee) who got kicked out of her house as a pregnant teen and now works the graveyard shift at your motel. It's almost as if the tears of the minions are sustenance to both the impressionable audience and the boss.

I find it sickening. This is the sort of cloying 'populism' that is the new PR face of industrial callousness. CBS no doubt is paying out the 'prizes' the boss awards, and the boss learns a few lessons, and everyone is richer. Except for, you know, the rest of the employees who are still toiling as ever, and probably a little riled that they didn't get picked. Then again, what business do I have trying to equate reality with TV? Enjoy your cake, capitalists, and when you feed the scraps to the dogs and invite the cameras to educate the plebeians about your good heart and kind nature, feel good about that too. This is your time, revel in it and be glad...