The Borderlands Series in Retrospect: Actually Mostly Bullshit

Borderlands is a computer game series that is in many ways symptomatic of the 'malaise of modern gaming' (which is not 100% true and therefore a theory) especially considering how style has trumped substance (which is a problem modern gaming shares with many other modern things). The gist of a Borderlands game is:

It is a first person shooter set on a richy detailed, busted cyberpunk/post-apocalyptic wasteland/junkyard alien planet with cool monsters and villainous humans and it's also a bit of an RPG (because those are hot right now) in that you have experience points, skills, and criticals (and also a vast, grim, and forboding numerical grind). All weapons and equipment are randomly generated with varying stats, there are multiple protagonists with different powers, persistent account wide bonuses, and a variety of challenges and accomplishments. Also the series likes to use hit songs in advertising as well as in-game!

All of this, and it's arguably less fun than even Doom 1 or 2, which are a million times less complex or intricate. To my mind the Borderlands series is a perfect example of the pretty, lifeless, grindy, downright boring and chore-like video games proliferating in 'serious' gaming. I finished the first game a couple of times (to my eternal discredit) and only played around 8 hours of Borderlands 2 (so far I haven't gotten a single interesting weapon and the fights haven't been fun). So the most important things in FPS games, the guns, are randomized. Generally the randomized guns are excessively useless. The inventory system is yet another terrible console/PC crossover abortion, so good luck selling the random loot guns the game is stingy about dropping.

19 Screenshots that Reveal the Hollowness of Business Insider and Modern Culture in General

Dilbert IS business, basically. Laugh and care about it to advance your career!

In an era of clickbait nonsense aggregation bullshit, online content in general is in danger of becoming a lobotomized, numbers-driven, shortform mess. When I state with confidence that using the internet can make a person extremely dumb, paranoid, hateful, angry, etc... I am speaking mostly about the content aggregator sites, although mainstream media websites and the 'respected' online only publications are also wracked with issues like poor editorial standards and their habit of mixing serious stories with internet culture fluff. The end result is an uncritical and uninformed mass of people with simplistic world-views and ideas who are around you, and vote and have jobs and discuss whatever malformed ideas they have with like-minded people and shout at those who disagree with them.

I started reading Business Insider earlier this year. I don't know why, I suppose I wanted a wider selection of sites and I'd never really frequented an aggregator before. I figured it would be helpful in determining what wider news trends were... but I was wrong, because Business Insider isn't a news site. It's an aggregator with a 'business' lifestyle slant, which means it will present you with the idols of the cult of success, the accouterments of the cult of success, and Forbes-like fawning and panic about wealth with a subset of stories about actual business some of which may have been bought and paid for by the businesses prominent in that story. Looking at you Shake Shack, Soul Cycle, whatever the newest 'Chipotle-killer' is, etc...

What kept me reading was that I wanted to see how low they'd go. Some of their clickbait articles are so obvious that the site functions as a sort of case study in the decline of news caused by the massive expansion into the void of the internet. The fact that the site was successful enough to be sold for millions (more millions than I'm comfortable with) is a sign that this kind of operation appeals to someone – even if that someone is just advertising and/or PR agencies or some guy with a cargo-cult mentality who thinks reading the imaginatively titled Business Insider will get him a corner office or board seat.

That's the thing, it's not insider information, it's widely available information with a few home-brewed stories... on the one hand they put money in the hands of the people who write useless internet articles, and as much as I do pity them, they are my kind and it's better that there are still jobs where people who write get jobs (even if they go through six or more years of post-secondary education just to write for Buzzfeed or BI). To me, it doesn't matter if that person cannot spell or use words properly,and doesn't know how to use contractions, doesn't have any real passion for language or writing... they could be the biggest, least ink-stained hack of all time but if they're getting six cents a word while a video producer or hype man is out of work, I'm happy. On the other, less expansive hand, they don't produce any 'good' stuff. They provide a service that generally repeats information for a layman crowd. Longform is dead, et cetera...

It's a website that's good at being a brand, and one of those new kinds of brands launched and owned by people slightly more web-savvy than the people who run newspapers, which even as I type it seems crazy, because everyone uses the internet now. The fact remains that traditional media have not adapted super well, I guess, because there are voids where a shrewd person can set up shop and in a few years be valued at millions of dollars.

But what kind of content... that's the important question, right? What's the kind of content they got? Well, it's an eyeful, and I've been filing away some of the more mordant, absurd, and frivolous examples:

The headlines are a schizoid mix of important news and 'content', which may affect the minds of long term readers.

Interested in the insider 'hack' about hotels that you probably never knew about?

["Oh, word?" -Ed.]

Gaming is Dead and Other Frivolous Stories

The trailer for Fallout 4, the Steam Summer Sale, the announcement of a fourth installment in the venerable Doom series. Lessons from the past like The Elder Scrolls Online, Sim City 5, Duke Nukem Forever... All overseen by a hype-filled industry that is fueled and supported by an uncritical following eager to accept anything resembling a game as long as there's something new around each corner. It's almost like the industry has grown too big, too cynical – too content to simply make money and purely technical advances.

There will never be another 'Alpha Centauri Moment' in gaming. There will never again be a genuinely intelligent, original, and compelling game from a major studio. If it happens it will be purely by chance. Formula-tweaking will not allow it to happen. Meantime you get to enjoy your bloated, lifeless, stagnant franchises. Billion dollar abortions litter the new scene.


Fallout 4 looks like Fallout 3 with 'next-gen' wankery like modular building, a deeper crafting system, a voiced protagonist, and all the other embellishments that make a person excited for a Bethesda game until they remember the previous four Bethesda games and also that distractions are great for padding a game that may include: a terrible story, a pissy and clunky engine, dialogue from hell's anus, formulaic combat, a big world full of the mostly identical things, annoyance.
I can't believe they're going for the interactive introduction again, after it pissed off just about everyone who played Fo3 more than once. Spending months programming a cool way to customize the PC's face is kind of a hint about the pathology of modern game design. There's a weird kind of narcissism where the way your character looks becomes more important than doing cool things, a fatal passivity for a pastime that used to promise ridiculous, cool, and/or interesting situations of greater and greater complexity over time.


Doom 4. Oh cool, another lame shotgun. Demons drop bullets? Where's the zombie troopers? Looks like it could be more or less mediocre than Doom 3 but I will gladly bet one conciliatory blog post that Doom 4 will miss the point just as badly. Larger teams and more money only diluted everything and added dozens of useless features, but at least Doom 4 won't have crafting bolted onto it, so the team isn't completely incompetent. The idea of context sensitive executions is kind of cool but it's So Not What Doom Was Ever About and Reduces Player Agency so I'm not excited and in fact disappointed already.
You can't exploit nostalgia forever. Let some of these franchises die. They deserve rest.

Remakes and re-releases of old games are big news, but they're only important because they reveal an industry that's nearly flatlined in terms of creativity. Every new piece of shit game is celebrated and overhyped by a toothless, uncritical, and quite frankly spoiled consumer base. You get a new installment in your franchise every year and some people have been patiently waiting for something interesting to play for a decade, while secretly understanding that it'll never happen, that there will only be hollow and pretty experiences from now on, that getting interested in a game and playing it for years is something of the past. Player agency is in decline. Everything's a mile wide and an inch deep. At this point I'd pay more for a closed-world, non-emergent, non-feature-cluttered game with tight gameplay and focused mechanics. I've seen two decades of failed promises and I don't get the culture anymore, I really don't like its self-regarding nature or its identity crises, and I'm extremely skeptical of its offerings.


The Steam Summer Sale. No prominent, relatively recent game under $5. I saw System Shock 2 for a dollar. I first finished that game over 10 years ago, and I'm ready to let go, even though my suspicions about nostalgia are repeatedly proven wrong when I return to a clunky, ugly, kind of pain-in-the-ass game and it's immediately more compelling than Borderlands 2. Currently I don't know if I'll ever need to upgrade since apparently the majority of good games already exist and were made what seems like eons ago.
At least let me try a modern game for cheap, Steam. That's what the deal used to be, remember? Let it be an indie game, I don't care, but one really good deal a day would be great. I guess now that steam money is basically free you will never allow a great deal to happen again, which is a pity because I've been saving card money for months in hopes I can spend it on something cool, but I just play an old game and complain to my small handful of friends who still game.
I got Just Cause 2 for something like $1.75 three years ago and there hasn't been an equivalent deal since –  the game is probably more expensive right now. I realize the business model Steam adopted doesn't work like I think it should, but even non-perishable products should get cheaper after they've been on sale a dozen times – even if it's only the sale price. Steam has realized that savvy gamers are becoming hardened towards hype and ready to wait months if not years to buy new games, because the price will drop so much more than when we traveled to physical locations to buy our interactive videogaming products. We are extremely spoiled, but if the general quality and inventiveness of these products doesn't increase we will probably stop caring about them entirely, and it will spare us a lot of disappointment.


On the plus side: I'm saving money and spending it in more interesting and dynamic ways and I have a lot of freed-up time to spend on actual life. Turns out life is actually very interactive, with: numerous challenges, emergent situations, and high stakes. Still I'd like a cool game, please. Doesn't have to be super complex, doesn't need the best A.I. in the business, it just needs to be fun to play. Gameplay first; dorky kid shit like graphics and hype last.

The Following Tweets Presented Without Comment

"I'm Amateur Poet Ross Heffi, and I Love Reading!"

[Note: Due to problems with contracting an actual poet to write this entire post in hexameter, this blog post has been delayed and in development hell for nearly six months. the author presents it as is and refuses to accept any liability whatever for this piece, which is offered on a pro bono basis, or any derivatives thereof. This piece is fictional and is not meant to disparage any lazy and  numbskull idiots (hereafter referred to as 'poets')  living or dead, nor does it purport to represent any veritable person, as a work of fiction is not libelous or slanderous. The poetry and prose herein is the intelluctual property of Ross Heffi, M.F.A. and should not be reproduced in any way.]


Hey everyone, glad you're reading words my fingers put into the computer realm, my name is Ross Heffi, I currently live in Ithaca, New York, and my darkest secret is that if reading as a concept and practice was made corporeal in the form of a human, I would marry it. or, failing that, stalk it relentlessly and passionately. My favorite medium is Poetry, because Poetry allows me to expound in an unusual manner, offering many possibilities that prose doesn't. My favorite poet is Wallace Stevens, for reasons that should be obvious to even neophytes of Art. I don't ape him because I'm not a fool, and know that I could never match him in his element.

Reading is, to me, the highest and most noble pastime. The illiterate and semi-literate confuse and sadden me. I believe I was born in the wrong era, and I must tearfully admit I consider this an age of philistinery. These are lurid times, when the flashy draw hooks many minds and leads them to ruin, to ignorance, and to laziness. Without thoughts, wise men, and the dreams of peaceful minds, the world will be robbed of promise and hatred will continue to spread. Wealth will turn to ash without us, and our voices are still strong, still awaiting the return of the audience.

My favorite poem (of my own making) 'Destiny's Argot'  concerns a man whose fear for the world drives him mad, and into the arms of the muses (as well as other mysterious forces) and nearly eighty high quality lines (probably the best work I ever succeeded in doing) detail his altered state and journey through a supermarket/drug store, and interactions with shoppers. If you, the reader, are interested in Ross Heffi, or simply adore poetic endeavor, I would recommend reading 'Destiny's Argot' which is available on a trial basis from Wattpad, and also on Goodreads, where you can add me as a friend. You may be inspired to make a purchase of my first and only collection Hell is Pieces of my Heart on Hot Asphalt (digital and paper copies available), for which I would be very, but not eternally (I do not believe the immortal soul), grateful.

@HeffiTymes. Ross Heffi is on Tumblr, as well, serving fresh, daily compositions ,and accepting commissions. Yeah that just happened, my dear reader, and many more adventures await and I will give it my all to produce and curate some of the best poetry of this era, comparable perhaps to the masters of old, and the ancient demigods of poetry, the most learned and exquisite and legendary figures. Of Sappho and Homer you have doubtless heard much, but there are others I can name, which you probably could not. In any case, my list of most admired poets is too long and probably too confusing to list here, so I do invoke the ancients and humbly request they invoke the Muses for me. This latest poem is entitled 'Forever is a Distant Laughing Brook' and is dedicated to the unpopular and much disliked blog P u b l i c a t o and was written at the request of Anonynimous Bosch for a reasonable fee, which is charged for most commissions except at the request of true lovers, lost souls, dedicated fans, certain members of the media, and under-14 poetry fanatics.

The Verge of Uncanny Valley

Facebook but with a dislike button. Twitter but you get to throw tweets into a virtual shredder and retweet the results. Youtube but comments cannot be prohibited and confer privileges based on amount of likes or coherent length. More review systems and as much user based content as possible, and also there must be media sensationalism. Soundcloud but with a built in editor and sampler, and a healthy amount of effects. Reddit but with upvote XP systems. RPG social media events, with PR interlacing and exciting, meaningful marketing opportunities. Viral IRL games arrays, spanning years and maybe even decades. Pure madness. The distance from one to another is growing, and getting in the middle is the biggest business of all; get in on the ground floor of the first business to dictate human thought, which will be bought by Google for billions. Log in and meet the new gods. There's an app for that. Material world a quaint place peopled by the offline troglodytes, infants, and the non-digital elderly.

Deeper into the collective subconsciousness all the while assured of individuality and rugged independence. Too good to give it up and too obviously fucked up to care. Living in the shadows of an ever-twitching and surreal world. Spastic shadows and half-formed exclamations. People who can't take jokes and people who can't stop making them, both uniting to ruin the moment. Uneasy words from agitated people. More data every second than can be processed in a human lifetime. Everything is under control, believe us. There is a number too big to fit into the known universe, and we are chasing it for no other reason than to crowd ourselves out. We are edging towards an eternal dream state, towards a hyped self destruction, into the darkness of the final delusions.

Pretentious shit from idiots, too, and pretty much absolutely as far as the eye can see or ear can hear. Why won't the voices stop, right? They don't appear to even consider your objections for a moment before saying some other thing, or a thing related to it logically. Or is it the appearance of logic, worn as a cloak over a disingenuous appeal to base instinct? Then, to add injury to insult, other voices begin to chatter nonstop about the things the first order voices said. A chorus grows in the uncanny valley of the present, a maelstrom of misinformation and ignorance grows and risks everything and stupefies the remainder. Dangerous ideas curl in the air like toxic smoke. Plumes of oil, plastic, radiation and particulates in the air will sustain the next apex lifeform... our Frankenstein will sail among the stars and tell exaggerated tales about its creators.

Modern Tips for Investing your Identity

These days its not good enough to just exist and passively consume media. I mean, it is, if you exist in the lower tiers of society and not at all online. Even then you'll have to be around people who are either careless or completely uncool... what I am saying is its impossible if you care at all about your image. People will treat you differently based on your projected identity, and perhaps most importantly of all, in the absence of an identity you will be assigned one. People aren't often too kind when assigning you an identity, unless... many factors can intercede in your favor or your detriment.

Escape is unlikely. People who run from identity find themselves cornered and unmarketable to other human beings. No mass movement exists of people who spurn identity as an outdated, noxious concept. Individualism is still in vogue, denying it, even to the least aware person, will mark you as abnormal and potentially dangerous. On the other hand, lots of people get very invested in their identities, to the point where even the dumbest person can see they've taken it too far and judge them for it. With identity comes conflict, and identity fetishism, and a lack of real personal constitution – look at everybody who identifies as anything, too much. They're as odd and bland as the people who want no identity affixed to their name.

What is important is to have something outside of yourself to identify with. Not all identity can come from within, even if the best and most trustworthy kind cannot be bought. Hobbies, interests, activities, talents, peculiarities all are good starting points. Anything but the basic job/field of study/consumption habits can augment the identity you might have (or have not) developed since you were born. As soon as you start falling into the void of identity via consumption, or the chasm of applying various identities to see which you prefer... it becomes quite apparent to others that you are not comfortable enough with yourself.

It's tempting to say that experimenting with identity is something for teenagers. This is not true. Adults reinvent themselves all the time: sometimes they succeed and sometimes they fail quite miserably and get mocked and look like total jackasses. The trick is what it has always been: to have a kernel of self, to hold true to it, and not sell it out for temporary gain.

In these largely soulless times it is easier than ever to find an extreme niche identity and invest heavily into it. Life is hard and lonely, and most of us are not exceptionally popular or easy to like. It's easy to become distracted from the struggle of 'being oneself' and buy into one of many processed, mass-appeal identities that will quell your feelings of alienation and disgust. Being a human isn't easy. It isn't a question of blending in. Most authentic people are pretty subdued and blend in easily. Often it's the identity fetishists who stand out the most... the ones who live by their t-shirt, hairstyle, loudly proclaimed philosophies... and even the least presumptuous and annoying among us can be inauthentic, quietly fetishizing their unremarkableness and stifling what or who they really are.

Therefore it's a question too big to answer in a blog post, sequence of blog posts, or even an entire blog. I won't pretend to even be knowledgeable about it, but I think I can draw up a list of helpful tips and insights for modern identity:

1. Never try too hard. People can sense this and almost none of them are impressed by it.
2. It's harder to be something than to look like something. There is living, and there is lifestyle.
3. It's not always worth it to have an identity. Others can be generous with their identification of you.
4. If you're trying to be on top of things, it can paint you into a corner. Be broad, be general, and profit.
5. This issue will never not be an issue. It will often be bothersome, so learn to keep your cool.
6. The harder you are to identify, the more offended you might get at how people see you.
7. The golden years differ for everyone: for most, it's easiest to have a fluid identity in their 20s.
8. Learn to roll with it: you may know what you really are, but you can't always make others see it.
8.1. Sometimes you will get spit on: sometimes you have to hold your pride, and sometimes you have to stand up for yourself.
9. There is an inverse rule about caring somewhere in there, but it has exceptions. Not getting started on it.
10. Baudrillardian concepts about authenticity, simulacra, etc. apply.

I didn't arrive at quite the point I wanted to, which was to say that most everyone fronts a little bit here and there - check out the game Majora's Mask for some insights into this tragic topic. Or gain some actual critical literacy (just don't get too caught up in identifying as culturally literate). For example, a majority of people and things related to entertainment media (music, film, TV shows, video games, mass market books, increasing amounts of political and philosophic content, even health) is insubstantial or faked, which is why people whose identity hinges on them are often either children, mentally unhinged, or totally mentally deficient.

Personally, at times I wonder if it's worthwhile to be anything at all.  I certainly can't say at this point. The only thing granted is humanity, and some abandon even that. The internet, cultural appropriation, along with basic human prejudice, have helped make the issue more central than it ever ought to be and very complex. Don't invest too heavily because the market is a bit overheated and might collapse. Best of luck to you and your identity.