Canada's 2021 COVID-19 Special Edition Snap Election

It's the big day in Canada this September 20th, 2021, as voters decide who will govern the nation through whatever the next years have in store. Oh yeah, and there's a big pandemic. And literally everyone is going crazy. There's anger, bitterness, and increasingly unhinged people all over the streets, the internet comment sections, the sidewalks outside of hospitals and the sidewalks outside of restaurants. Trudeau got gravel thrown at him, and a lot of abuse, at several campaign stops. Libraries aren't even safe. People are getting run over on the side of the road, like animals. The stakes have never been higher, and yet nobody knows what the hell, and even the smart money's confused.

When Prime Minister Justin Trudeau called for an election mere weeks (was it weeks? really?) ago there was a collective late-summer sigh in the air, as Canadians of all political stripes wondered why the hell he couldn't wait until after the global pandemic had subsided a bit more. The last election was only two years ago, in October 2019, which feels like a million years ago, so there's strategies at play here that most won't be able to grasp until the dust settles. The reason Trudeau called the election? To cement a legacy that his backers hope will keep Canada on the path forward... to the future! For everyone! (We have our doubts, too.)

The Fate of the Book

So much very subtle and quiet hype about the end of the bound stack of paper sheets known as 'the book'. There have been many books over the years, and I think everyone can agree that they were not always perfect, nor ever had an overwhelming reputation for improving the world. But there's a certain something to books and even if they are dying, take heart: our generation will be able to come by books cheaply for the duration of our existence, unless they begin burning bales of books.

If the global stock of books is significantly destroyed in the next twenty years, or publishing is severely repressed by economic or colluded forces, then at the very least books will have predicted that. Basic reading and communication skills will not likely be replaced, so language will continue, and the flow of ideas will merely take on another, potentially better form. Or our eyes will atrophy from an unmitigated hegemony of digital screens, flashing lights, and confused information.

Maybe there will be a tidal-wave of information in the future which will overwhelm us. Maybe it will get the better of us. We could be changed forever.

Or the book could go on well into the future, as some type of elitist symbol that nobody understands. Probably this view of the book's future is already some cliche that has been analyzed and exploited in hundreds of books. Maybe the book will suffer a renaissance in a few years, or maybe all the news sensationalism and existential dawdling will come to naught, and the book will be as ubiquitous and burdensome as ever – perhaps forever.

In the end, if it goes, the memory of the book will either be exterminated, merely forgotten, or enshrined by some freakish bibliophilia committee as the centerpoint of some futurist, knowledge-based cargo cult. And however it goes, the book will remain as at least a symbol.

But in the meantime there is all kinds of mawkishness about books and print media in general. It seems that the publication industry gets more fatalistic while the technology industry fills with empty hype. There is no real confrontation between the two industries. Largely, the recent history of the matter is that the print industry has had to accept and learn to work with tech, gadget, and electronics industries. It's not really the same as the music industry and the internet, though there are similarities.

So these publishers and maybe even some bibliophiles are very worried and the internet is very unconcerned. That's basically the gist of the story. In my mind television, the postal service, and radio are the real danger zones, and they're still around more than ten years after the internet. Writing killed or perverted most oral tradition anyway, so whatever happens at this point is fair and not unprecedented.

July Predictions

July 2011 is going to be unremarkable compared to the months around it and the year its in. 2011 might go down in history for some reason or other, but at this point it looks as if July 2011 is going to be 'sleeper month' when the news networks could just as well be deactivated for a few weeks. Everyone would feel plenty better if this happened.

Predictions for July 2011:

- It's easy to be a news junkie, and this global habit will not be broken in July 2011.
- Consumerism will be defended and attacked by the listless people it has already exhausted.
- Someone will say something about 2012.
- A video game will be released. People will not like certain aspects of this game.
- People in a park will discover or rediscover the joys of public drinking.
- People will bitch about something. Privileged individuals will bitch most loudly.
- Pride will lead to at least one downfall. The term 'hubris' will remain purely literary.
- Annoying news events will take place, the reporting will be paid for by the subjects.
- Niche activism will convert another 33 people. Worldwide.
- Democracy will continue to be a byword. People in certain countries will protest for it.
- People in other countries will continue to abuse the term 'democracy'.
- A beautiful life will be cut short and largely ignored, because such things always happen.
- Twitter will inexplicably continue to exist. I will still be incapable of using Twitter on July 31.
- I will have extreme difficulty and trouble conceiving and finishing blog posts.
- My lovely audience will continue to visit half-heartedly.

That's a Year

I sincerely doubt I'll be posting anything until 2011, so here is a list of predictions about 2011:

1. US political drama will continue to exceed all forecasted expectations.


2. Terrible storms will wreak more havoc on very specific shorelines.


3. North Korea will secretly retract into China without anyone's permission. China will withhold dumplings.


4. At least one person will be on a toilet at 23:59 on December 31st, 2010. 

4.1 - Anyone who passes out before 00:01 on January 2011 will be left in 2010 forever.*
(*Babies, small children, and narcoleptics are exempt)


5. All television shows will be in 3D in 2011. Anyone without a pair of special $200 glasses will be unable to watch anything.


6. Lists will be forbidden in 2011 by decree of Vladimir Putin, which is why I'm making my fist list article.


7. By mid-2011, even Mongolian sheep-herders will get sick of Auto-Tune.


8. Salmon will go extinct, most birds will grow a third wing, and all bears will crossbreed with sharks. This is all due to Global Warming and might lead to the extinction of humankind.


9. Someone's grandmother will discover Twitter.

10. All television programs which have titles beginning with "C" will be canceled.

That's all the nonsense I could think up on short notice, I'll be free of the internet for the next two weeks impersonating socially healthy people and getting drunk. If I get stuck in 2010 you will know by next September, because I'll be reposting old material. Goodbye, dear audience consisting almost entirely of web-crawling search-index bots, and a happy New Year to you.