Millennials For Bernie and Other News From The Modern Gutter

Wow 2016 has certainly been a year, between celebrity deaths, political chicanery, imminent race war with shooting-a-day news, terrorists wilding out everywhere, a surprise coup in Turkey, and the grand return of Pokemon combined with augmented reality, the Age of Indifference seems poised at the cusp of its Golden Age. It's almost possible to forget the insanity of the first four months of the year based on the last three months of the year. It's almost possible, even tempting, to think that we are at an all time high of crazy happenings


But things have been shitty for a very long time, haven't they? And it's probably our fault. In fact it is certainly our fault. We've done this. Some of us try to do better, some of us try to fuck things up, and the majority don't care. I like to think I fall outside of all these groups. I don't care; but I do. I want to do better; but I don't. I never really considered the option of making things worse... it seems there are plenty people on each side of every confrontation who can do that better than I could ever hope to.

So I was trying to come up with a good overview of the past ten months or so but there are so many squawking heads yakking about it that it doesn't matter. Plus, I'm a piece of shit idiot with nothing new to add or a redeeming perspective. Suffice it to say I get it: everything looks pretty grim. Things looked bad in 2003, and they look roughly as bad now, except there is more bad stuff? (I'll look into this after I kill myself, because fuck making that graph.) But there's also good stuff: like consumerism! So I'm going to recommend some pretty good stuff that'll help you get through July without killing yourself or fantasizing about killing every last human in an insane laser drug apocalypse in a doomed attempt to fix Earth and right all the wrongs.

4 Media Products Recommended by the Sloppy Blogger in Lieu of Depressing Screed About Modern World

Noteworthy Timekiller Alert!

A relatively new tower defense game, available online and for free, called Kingdom Rush is probably the best timekiller available. In terms of quality and polish, this is perhaps the best online tower defense I've ever seen. I am not even going to post screenshots, because they are unnecessary. This game has garnered 17 million plays, is twenty megabytes in size, and can basically make an entire day disappear.

About a year ago I invested a lot of time into the Cursed Treasure series. It was a magnificent game, and Kingdom Rush is along the same lines, except you play for the good team. There are four basic types of tower which upgrade into awesome and excellent killing machines. There are only two special powers and they are both useful and sometimes necessary. Kingdom Rush is not even close to being as long as, say, Gemcraft or anything, but it works so well that I found myself replaying old scenarios for bonus points.

My only gripe is that I can't get to the final secret level and am missing two upgrade points and have no idea where to find them. There's a frozen sasquatch in one level that I think has to do with it, but I can't unlock it. The game also takes a while to get used to - all the towers feel weak at first, but there are a few tactical approaches which mean your towers get as many shots into an enemy as possible. Furthermore there is a great amount of strategy in which towers you build and which you upgrade. Though tower placement is not free-form, I really can't complain about it.

The aesthetics of the game are flawless, it runs well, looks fantastic, and the campaign is excellent. If you are not hateful of tower defense games or sick of them, this is probably your best bet for a while. I myself love a good tower defense game and the really fine work is rare, but so rewarding. You know I will even post a screenshot, just to emphasize that although the game looks prosaic, and is, it plays well enough that you'll forget about the formula and just enjoy it.

That's what games are about. A free game of this quality is always a good thing, and I'd like to warn as many people about it as I can, even though most of the internet knows already. Sometimes you have to have an unoffensive, focused way of killing time, and it helps to spend it on something decent instead of the many polished but bullshit things out there.

Bonus mode includes interesting restrictions which force you to think strategically, as well as in terms of complete overkill. Because to hell with the forces of death and evil.