What Kinda Dream was 2014?

If you're reading this, you survived 2014, unlike a fairly large number of other people. Congratulations.

You may be wondering what you've gained by surviving another year. Truthfully I don't know. Maybe you lived only to find anguish and lamentation in your future. Maybe reality has a cruel sense of humor. Maybe you're fated to find true love and then lose it in a desperate struggle against the way of all things. Who knows? You got another year out of the deal, and in some way surviving Jan 1st to Jan 1st is more

Maybe you didn't survive it. Maybe, somehow, your consciousness continued to exist in a purely sophistical realm in the tiny unknowable increment of possibility between life and death. In that case, I don't know how you're reading this, because as far as I know I exist in a world shared with other fully conscious and existing beings, not in your mind. Then again maybe you're a figment of my imagination... but what would that mean... what would that make me? I've often thought that I've merely poured my attempts at writing into a dark void. Maybe I was right all along.

2014 - The Good

So what was good in 2014? There was some stuff...

The movie Birdman came out and was actually really good, good enough that if Shakespeare was around he would love it and probably encourage other people to watch it; or cry tears of joy; or demur any opinion but secretly watch it again and again, planning his own remake on similar themes... it's a great movie, and I'm speaking as a lameoid who saw it in 2015. The meta-factor is a little steep, but if you can look askance of a little bit of preciousness there is an humorous, beautifully (if not impeccably) shot masterpiece there.

John Maus hinted at a 2015 release for a new album, which is in this humble writer's opinion the best music news of 2014. Now I have most of a reason to see this year through, instead of going ahead with my original plan of throwing myself off a building in March.

Gas got really cheap. I realize it's a side-effect of a geopolitical game that only serves to stress our hopeless plight as small nothings in an unfeeling world, but... it's probably not even good news, but filling up hasn't felt so good in a long time.

The World Cup - mixed bag but let's face it, the Germany/Brazil game was the stuff of legend. What a brutal slaying. I still catch myself thinking of it from time to time when I wonder about how fucked I am compared to various World Cup games.

Uhh... there was other stuff, but I neglected to plan this post out at all, and to be honest 'good' is kind of a subjective term. Maybe you're a tineared fuck who doesn't like John Maus. Maybe you hate the idea of unrestrained fossil fuel feeding frenzies. Maybe you hate good cinematic films. Well, I know I'm a lazy bastard at the moment, and I think it's stupid to look up other people's 2014 Bad/Good lists and basically... fuck it. 2014 was mediocre, but I'll get into that a bit later.

2014 - The Bad

There's so much. I could do my research on this and go on about it until next year. Gluten-free idiocy, a continuation of the growing divide between the wealthy and poor, mediocre job markets, 'good economic news' that translates into the status quo, all sorts of murder, all sorts of unrest, a couple of unnecessary extinctions, casual brutality, hatred flaring up everywhere, the old guard firmly in control as ever. All sorts of stupidity. A dazzling galaxy of insipid and bright distractions. An increasingly etherized worldwide populace. The motherfucking internet.

There was one story that was so stupid, and such a fulfillment of a prophecy I made in the Nerd Bubble post a long time ago, that I have to include it here. It's the GamerGate scandal - a nonevent that blossomed into a great expression of childish fecklessness, misplaced values, and good old fashioned hate. I don't even really know what happened. It involved a journalist, the guy who used to date her, maybe someone else, and a bunch of what you may as well call men who proved without a doubt that they have worthless opinions and misguided priorities. I had a good chuckle every time this story reappeared, and by the time it got to the TV I was thoroughly tired of it... a worthless scandal.

Ebola, petty squabbles, a bunch of disheartening stories, The Colbert Report is over... war and rumors of war... perverts... the internet...

One whole jetliner disappeared. People got to remember this one because it's a little crazy. You'd think there would be at least one piece of debris found at this point. Was it pulled into space? Did it vanish? Did North Korea or ISIS hijack the plane, saving it for a terrible spectacle? Did they collaborate? Did you know that ISIS used to proceed with the essential blessing (non-action) of the West, way back when Assad was the main villian? What's going on with that narrative?

Meanwhile in news nobody cares about but that affected me deeply: I fucked up badly with a few experimental blog posts and it seems like I've lost basically all of my 50 person audience. I apologize for posting one or two really bad, pretty dumb, and mostly unenjoyable posts. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't like being a commentator, I don't have a special insight or overarching interest to report on, and it's really hard to do anything good. So yeah, I got a bit drunk and wrote the Ross Heffi bit. It sucked.

The Logitech thing was crazy, too. I can see you'd get an idea that I'm just a filthy mouth with no spine, but consider that social media/tech support person is not actually the project designer or parts buyer and might deserve respect. And if I fell for a fraud? Well then, I guess someone proved something about duplicity (I've been using a shitty mouse again and it hasn't stopped working, it's just really uncomfortable and unhandy). And basically every post I made since then has had as much traffic as I used to get when I still had any hopes for this blog. I've been close to jumping out of this business for a while, mostly because I'm a stupid coward and I doubt there's anything creative or fun left in me at this point. Maybe I'll push on. I want someone to pay me to write at some point in my life. I want to get published. I learn from mistakes.

I'm pretty tired. I'm only 5 days into 2015 and already it seems like all the technophiles in the world couldn't make me feel good about it. If I'm lucky... hell if we're all lucky, this will be a much better year than 2014.